Confessions Of A Mary Sue
by Lady Silence
Summary: FotR: The Movie, through the eyes of a really bitter Mary Sue. Because being a Mary Sue isn't easy. Especially when you're surrounded by perfect ones.. R for language. Finished
1. Prologue

TITLE: Confessions of a Mary Sue  
  
AUTHOR: Silence  
  
DISCLAIMER: Like I own anything belonging to J.R.R. Tolkien. But yes, LotR and anything to do with Middle Earth belongs to his estate I'm assuming, and sadly that does not include me. Do I claim the Mary Sues? Sure why not. But yeah.. Don't own anything else mentioned, like Buffy, Dragonlance, Smallville, etc. They are all owned by their rightful owners too. Okay?  
  
SPOILERS: Well duh. It'll be spoiled all the way to the end of Fellowship of the Ring (The movie at least, bookwise.. it's debatable.)  
  
FEEDBACK: Please? Flames will be not only laughed at but also sent to various people for more mocking, and probably plots of childish revenge that involve explosions and penguins.  
  
SUMMARY: See what goes on in FotR: The Movie in the eyes of a really bitter Mary Sue.  
  
BLAME: The many Mary Sue fics I've been reading lately. Some good, some bad. And because of the fact I tend to LIKE Mary Sues in general.. well.. this sprung forth. Plus I've watched FotR like 25 times since picking up the extended dvd.. I so need a life..lol  
  
AUTHORS NOTES: I wasn't going to write this. I really wasn't. But my mind would not let it go. For two days it's been sitting here. Waiting. Pounding on my skull and demanding I let it out. So just to keep my sanity, I'm doing this. And if anyone wants to tell me I should have left it in my head and not let it be seen for the public, *shrug* I don't let many see the majority of my fan fic in the first place but frankly I feel like sharing and so it is done. Don't like it, DON'T READ IT. It's called free will. Deal with it. So why the movie continuity and not the book? Simply put, it's easier to work with. It's already bad enough I'm writing this for a fandom I adore, but must I go all the way and taint the actual books? I think not. Lol. I'll settle for a slightly cooler level of Hell by using the movie.  
  
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PROLOGUE  
  
You already hate me. I know this for a fact. I'm somewhere I shouldn't be, and I could wreck everything you worship with a single word.  
  
As if I care. YOU aren't the one stuck here with these two ditzes and their uber perfection.  
  
You see, I'm a Mary Sue.  
  
We all know what that is. If you don't, go look it up. If you read fan fiction you have an idea. If you read Lord of the Rings fan fic you definitely know.  
  
It wasn't meant to be this way. I mean, I LIKE Mary Sues at times. But now that I am one, I just want to throw myself off Caradhras.  
  
I suppose I should share how I got here, that is if you haven't decided to leave and ignore me all together..  
  
It started one week ago..  
  
----  
  
It was Tuesday, my favorite day of the week. Why? Well it's Buffy and Smallville night of course! I'm such a fangirl. Sad state, but it is true.  
  
I had an hour to kill before Buffy started, so I decided to try reading Fellowship of the Ring. Again. I've tried to read it thoroughly at least 4 times since the movie came out, but each time.. I don't know, maybe if it had been one of the first fantasy series I read, it would be easier. I guess I was spoiled by the easy read of the Dragonlance series. But then again, I've read through all of Shakespeare's plays and can actually understand them, so maybe I'm just crazy.  
  
With my book in hand, my black hair in those funky soft curlers you can sleep in and wearing my favorite pair of pajamas with penguins plotting world domination on them, I threw myself onto my couch and flipped the tv onto MTVX for some background noise.  
  
You just can't have a Mary Sue without some description about hair.. at least mine isn't perfect. Or twilight filled or something. It's black. That's it. Just black. Long and black. With a few split ends no doubt. Not that I care.. Let's see you worry about hair when you work all day in a Pizza Hut cooking for the buffet demanding freaks.  
  
Anyway, I was nibbling on a Twizzler stick as I idly tried to get through the first chapter without giving into the urge to flip to any chapter with Legolas in it.  
  
That's right, I'm a Legolas fangirl too. As if the hatred you bore me wasn't strong enough now. Get over it already.  
  
Before I knew it, I was starting to doze off, like I always seem to do when reading this book. It's a complete insult, and I don't mean to, but it happens. I totally respect Tolkien for the beautiful world he created and the wonderful story he told, but I just don't have the capabilities to handle his writing completely. Lord knows I wish I did.  
  
The book slipped from my grip as my head settled onto my penguin shaped pillow and the sleep sisters took total control of me.  
  
Vindictive witches they are. They come when unwanted and enjoy mocking me when I need sleep..  
  
The next thing I knew, these annoying voices were shaking me awake. You know the kind. The ones that belong to the perfect girls in high school and Miss Universe pageants.  
  
My eyes opened carefully, because I don't know many people and none of them sound like that. Except my friend Eric, but then again he also looks better in a dress then I do. To my shock I found myself staring at these poster girls for princesses.  
  
They were both taller then me by at least 6 inches. (I'm only 5'4 1/2") One had this shiny white blonde hair that was cut really close to her face in this perfect little style. The other had curly red hair that screamed dye job, but again, it was styled perfectly to enhance her features. They both had the greenest eyes I'd ever seen, although the blonde's eyes had these warped flecks of silver in hers.  
  
Something was very wrong here. I shoved them away from me and stood up. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
"We're your traveling companions." Red stated in a tone that seemed to assume I understood.  
  
"My what?" I asked. I narrowed my eyes, ready to tell them off, when I noticed their clothes. Both were dressed in elegantly tailored tunics of blue and green, with gold embroidery decorating the edges. They carried ridiculously fancy looking swords at their hips and matching black cloaks.  
  
I paled and took in my surroundings. An extravagant looking forest, trees hued in those autumn colors I loved, and leaves falling ever so lightly to the ground. Next to a large oak, or what I guess was an oak, as I know nothing about trees, was a large pond full of crystal clear water. I bolted for it and took in my reflection. I gasped.  
  
There I stood in my normal glory. Meaning I still looked like me. My hair was hanging to my waist and had loose but rather sloppy waves. My brown eyes were unchanged or enhanced, thank god. I was still pale looking from being inside too often and I had the distinct pleasure of my nose, which I hated, being exactly the same.  
  
Wherever I was, I must be here to make these bimbos look even better.  
  
At least I wasn't wearing pjs anymore. I had on a pair of black leggings tucked into ankle high leather boots with a dark purple trim. I also wore a dark purple dress that stopped at mid thigh and a matching sleeveless overcoat type thing. Attached to the shoulders of the coat was a billowing cloak that blended into the fabric of it as it was the same dark shade.  
  
I sighed. I had to admit that it was a nifty outfit. Hence my semi detailed description. And it WAS my favorite color. But geez. Over done much?  
  
I checked the pouch that was attached to the ornate looking belt I had on and found a matching pair of gloves (which I put on of course) and what I had been praying for. A pair of hair sticks. Thank you god. I began winding my hair into a tight bun as the perfect duo began chatting.  
  
"The three of us are on our way to Rivendell for the Council of Elrond." Red said.  
  
I nodded and managed a muffled "Mhm" as I held my wooden sticks in my mouth. Rivendell. Okay that solved where I was. But why was I here? I considered asking them, but the girls had these completely vacant look in their eyes.  
  
Blondie spoke up. "We represent a small kingdom of mortals beyond Mordor." She smiled sweetly. "You're our hand maiden."  
  
I stabbed the second and last stick into my hair with an annoyed growl. "I'm your what?"  
  
"Our hand maiden." Red said. "You do what we say, when we say it."  
  
"Like hell I am." I snapped. If they thought I was going to be their little groupie, then I'll have to beat the living hell out of them to prove otherwise. "I don't even help my family when they need it, you think I'm going wait on you two? Get a flippin life or throw yourself in front of an oncoming bus."  
  
They exchanged looks and blondie made a 'tsk tsk' sound. "But you have to. You see, we're the stars."  
  
"And I'm a goddess." I muttered. I was already feeling like utter crap so I changed the subject. "So, Rivendell eh? How far are we?"  
  
"Not far." Red answered. "We could make it soon if we don't stall."  
  
In other words she wanted me to shut up and follow. Seeing as I had no real choice I shrugged. "Fine. Lead on, ladies. You seem to have everything under control."  
  
They beamed at me and started walking. As I followed behind them, I counted off the many ways to off the others.  
  
That's when I realized something.  
  
I didn't even get a damn weapon.  
  
Bitches. 


	2. Highway to Hell

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue. Please do pardon any errors. My spell check is iffy and no matter how many times I reread things, my eyes can totally bypass the simplest mistake.  
  
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Chapter 1 - Highway to Hell  
  
I yawned as we stepped through the arches of Rivendell. I was tired, my feet hurt, and I was sick of pretending to eat the Lembas these wenches were force feeding me. Were they not paying attention? One bite.. but nooo they just had to assume they'd need more. I ended up stuffing what they gave me in my pouch. Good thing I really didn't have much in there. Not that it mattered. Apparently I got one perk about this entire nightmare. My pouch seemed to be a bag of holding. Sigh.. when I discovered that, it made me want to play Never Winter Nights again from the safety of my computer screen.  
  
Instead I was subjected to listening Mary and Sue singing the entire trek. I gave them names. Mary is the redhead and Sue is the blonde. Back to the singing. They were singing in, of all things, japanese. No I don't speak it, but since I watch anime, I know it when I hear it. Especially when it's the theme to Fushigi Yugi.  
  
Did I mention they had voices to match their perfection? I didn't think I need to, but then again..  
  
That's when I finally noticed it. Rivendell. My eyes grew wide. It was amazing. It was a sight to see in person what I'd only seen on screen or in my imagination. My jaw dropped slightly as I found myself staring at another sight.  
  
We all know who I spotted. Legolas Greenleaf. If I weren't such a master at hiding my crushes, I'd have swooned right there. Instead I brushed a loose bit of hair away from my face and fidgeted. I cast a glance at Mary and Sue, in time to see Mary eyeing the handsome elf like a he was the last item on sale on 5th Avenue at 99% off.  
  
Gee, I wonder why she's here.  
  
I shook my head and with a roll of my eyes I avoided everyone as I walked away. So absorbed in my exit, I didn't notice the tree root until I had tripped on it.  
  
I fell face forward and managed to land on my hands rather then my face. "Damn it!"  
  
A shadow fell over me and held out a hand. "Are you all right?"  
  
I looked up as I got to my knees. Staring down at me was Boromir. I gave him a curious look, but gratefully took his hand. He pulled me to my feet and I gave him a polite smile. "Yes. Thank you."  
  
"You are welcome, lady." He made a stiff bow. "I am Lord Boromir."  
  
I blinked. He was waiting for me to say my name. He expected to hear it. Not even Mary and Sue asked my name. But then I didn't ask theirs either.. I sighed. I was too tired to think of a suitable Middle Earth name, so I went with what was on my driver's license. "I'm called Lacey."  
  
He nodded politely, and I think he might have said more, but Sue grabbed my arm. "Come along now. We have need of you, young lady."  
  
Young lady? Holy hell, these idiots had to be teenage celebrity stalkers by their personalities. I was twenty-five. Much too old to be trapped in this nightmare. Isn't it a requirement to be a teenager when trapped in Middle Earth?  
  
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I got to be a 'perfect' Mary Sue. People would still hate me, but at least I could enjoy myself.  
  
I smiled apologetically at Boromir as Sue dragged me away.  
  
Sigh. I finally get someone to talk to that has a brain and I don't even get to enjoy myself.  
  
You know what's worse? The last thing I saw before leaving the clearing was Mary laughing at something Legolas said.  
  
What I wouldn't give to take that sword of hers and just ram it up her ass.  
  
------  
  
I sat along side Mary as we listened to Lord Elrond's speech about how we must band together. Did I mention we were in the council already? Well we were. I'll spare you the details of what Sue needed me for. I managed a few looks around the circle and caught Sue ogling Aragorn.  
  
She is NOT touching him. So help me god, I will not allow one of my favorite ships be tainted by her. I vowed then and there to do everything in my power to turn her ploys upside down. I should have done that about Mary and Legolas as well, but he's a big boy. He can handle himself right?  
  
I glanced at Mary who was looking perfect. Her hair seemed to catch the light just enough to make her glow. I resisted the urge to jump her and bash her head into the ground with all my might. Instead I added that vow as well.  
  
I don't know if I can keep them, but I'll try.  
  
"Bring forth the ring, Frodo."  
  
My attention snapped back to reality as the hobbit placed the ring in front of everyone. Out of curiosity I watched everyone's' reaction. Apprehension. Wonder. Fear. Desire.  
  
Mary and Sue had the strangest looks of all. Pure enjoyment. They were giddy, I could just imagine the wheels turning in the brain they shared.  
  
Something wasn't right though. Then it hit me. I wasn't feeling anything. Nothing. I didn't want the ring. I didn't care about the ring.  
  
I guess I'm just not important enough to be affected. I won't complain though.  
  
Boromir rose from his seat. "In a dream.." He inched closer to the ring. "..I saw the eastern sky grow dark.. but in the west a pale light lingered."  
  
Sue and Mary's eyes narrowed. They stared daggers at him and didn't bother to hide it.  
  
Wonderful. Boromir haters too? My hell is just beginning, I knew it. I resumed my focus on Boromir. Such a tragic hero in my book. How can you not feel for him?  
  
"A voice was crying: 'Your doom is near at hand. Isildur's Bane is found.'" Boromir reached for the ring. "Isildur's Bane."  
  
I tensed, knowing that Gandalf was about to speak.. but then it dawned on me.. Mary. Sue. Please oh goddess no.  
  
Sue jumped to her feet as Elrond said Boromir's name. I closed my eyes wishing the world to death around me as she stole Gandalf's line.  
  
The earth began to shake as she spoke and I peeked out at the council. She had everyone's attention all right.  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut again and prayed I'd wake from this atrocity.  
  
I must have zoned, it's a bad habit, because when I opened my eyes again, everyone was arguing about the ring.  
  
Frodo jumped to his feet. I wanted to let out a cheer for his courage, but I held my voice. "I will take it."  
  
Everyone continued to argue and he walked forward, his voice barely overheard. "I will take it."  
  
"I will take the ring to Mordor." Frodo said as he finally received the attention he deserved. "Though.. I do not know the way."  
  
Gandalf strode forward. "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins.. as long as it is yours to bear."  
  
"If by my life or death I can protect you.." Aragorn joined the hobbit and wizard. "I will." He kneeled in front of Frodo. "You have my sword."  
  
Poor Aragorn must have been feeling really twitchy then, because Sue's eyes were defying normalcy and had to be staring straight into him. No one can stare that intensely.  
  
"And you have my bow." Legolas announced and walked over.  
  
"And my ax." Gimli chimed in.  
  
And good old Boromir stepped forward slowly. "You carry the fates of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council.. Then Gondor will see it done."  
  
I eyed Mary and Sue carefully as the hobbits took their turns at joining the Fellowship. I counted the seconds after Pippin finished his 'Quest' line before one of the girls spoke up.  
  
With an air of unbelievable grace, Mary rose. "We, the Ladies of the Lands Beyond, wish to give you our aid as well."  
  
I wondered exactly how they would get us into the group, but I was struck dumbfounded by the fact that the title she used must have held some weight. They took her offer without question.  
  
They just had to twist reality around even more so didn't they. I wanted to cry, but since that's something I saved for tear jerking movies and injuries, I curbed the impulse.  
  
"So be it." Elrond announced.  
  
I cringed. Goddess have mercy.  
  
"You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."  
  
I stifled a scream.  
  
Pippin grinned. "Great. Where are we going?"  
  
Straight to Hell, little one.  
  
Straight to Hell. 


	3. Songs & Stories

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
More apologies for errors again! Same reason as before. Oh! And crazy me made a cover for this fic.. rofl..  
  
Here's the link:  
  
http://www.marua.com/silence/pics/confessionscoverfin.jpg  
  
It's silly, but I was bored. Lol.  
  
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Chapter 2 - Songs and Stories  
  
We started the journey towards Mordor rather well. Meaning I was ignored for the most part.  
  
Oh! I had a weapon now. Someone was nice enough to ask the elves to give me something. So now I had a beautifully carved.. staff. No one seemed to trust me with sharp objects after something Mary said. Did I do something wrong? It's not like I cut her hair while she slept. With her own dagger. Not much of it any way.  
  
I had the feeling it was either Aragorn or Boromir who requested I get something. They were the only ones who ever acknowledged my presence. Aragorn acknowledged everyone though. Even so, the polite nod and greeting was a nice change from the avoidance.  
  
Boromir however took it a step further. I've had conversations! Doesn't it just figure that the person who talks to me is the one that's going to die?  
  
At the moment however, he was up front and I was somewhere in the middle. I was watching Mary and her slightly sheered, but still immaculate curls, flirting with Legolas. Yes I was jealous. Yes I wanted the elf's attention. Even if it was a moment of "Will you stop following me like a puppy!" type thing.  
  
I chose then to look around the Fellowship. Just in time to see Sue talking to Aragorn. Her eyes were wide and filled with innocence. Or at least that's what I'm assuming.  
  
"The Lands Beyond are full of your kind." Sue said with a smile. "Rangers are a welcome sight as our land is filled with the dark of Orcs."  
  
I couldn't hear Aragorn's reply, but I could read his expression well enough. It was the polite kind a leader would, or rather, should, take when speaking to someone they were tolerating out of necessity. I felt the corner of my lips curl into a smirk.  
  
Some things, even a Sue can't change.  
  
"What are you smiling at?"  
  
I blinked and turned around with a groan. "Nothing, Mar.. Nerissa."  
  
Yes, Mary's name was Lady Nerissa Kaioh. Such originality. I bet her computer screen is covered in Sailor Neptune stuff when not Legolas oriented. Come to think of it, she does remind me of a red haired version of her.  
  
Yes, I finally found out what they were calling themselves. Sue was Lady Amalthea Winterheart. Both were the leaders of these two factions of the military in the 'Lands Beyond'. They were also nice enough to tell me exactly what to say about myself before we left Rivendell.  
  
I was supposed to be Lysette of the fallen house of Calavaras, now bound to servitude to these two fine warriors due to family obligations.  
  
That's when I.. borrowed Mary's dagger. Servitude my ass. I have to work a crappy job in a hot kitchen every day, if they thought I was going to wait on them, well then they have one severe reality check coming. Courtesy of me, my violent mood swings, and my staff connecting to their heads.  
  
Mary narrowed her eyes at me, but quickly smiled as Sue joined her. They went back to ignoring me and tried a tag team of impressing our resident elf.  
  
With song.  
  
They sang Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas. Naturally everyone was amazed and in awe. Except Aragorn, who was too serious to be taken in by the evil whores.  
  
As they worked their magic, I began humming a small tune that popped into my head. It was off key, but it fit my thoughts.  
  
"What is that song you hum?" Boromir asked as he stepped along side me. Apparently he was unaffected by them as well. "I do not recognize it."  
  
"It's called Man Eater." I said with a nod towards the girls, not bothering to hide my disdain.  
  
"There is something from your tone that tells me you do not refer to a cannibal." Boromir said and let out a chuckle at the look on my face. In his own way he knew what I was talking about. "You do not trust your friends?"  
  
"They aren't my friends." I muttered with a shake of my head. "We shouldn't be here. This is all wrong."  
  
"How is it wrong to fight and protect your home? Your family?" Boromir asked, his face suddenly tense. "Would you not do whatever you could to see an end to needless deaths?"  
  
I frowned. This wasn't going well at all. I had struck a nerve on what could be my only friend. "I didn't mean it like that, my lord. It's one thing to fight to protect, but the ladies I came with are here for their own needs." I narrowed my eyes again as Mary reached out towards Legolas. "What they want has nothing to do with any ideals of protecting or honor."  
  
He followed my gaze and watched the bimbos at work and his tense composure changed into understanding and disgust. "Aye. I believe I understand what you say. They are rather obvious, are they not?"  
  
"They have as much subtlety as an orc in a dress." I said with a sneer. "I wish I'd cut her hair completely off."  
  
"Tis you who did that?" Boromir asked me. He smirked. "You are one who should not be trifled with."  
  
"She demanded that I be her servant." I explained. "Meaning I'm less then they are. What do they know? I'm not the one forcing my way into a place I don't belong. I'm not the one who's pretending to be something I'm not. Been there done that. Wrote the book. Sold the movie rights."  
  
I think I confused him with my rambling, as the Steward of Gondor merely nodded and changed the subject. He motioned towards my staff. "Do you know how to wield your weapon?"  
  
I shrugged. "Sure. Who doesn't?" Total bullshit. The only things I knew, was what I had learned from watching Xena. No way I was saying it out loud though. I didn't want to be coddled. Besides it's not my story. If I say no, he'd take the time to teach me, and that would steal him from Merry and Pippin. So I lied. It's a special gift. I can lie better then Mary and Sue do on a first date.  
  
I'm being mean. After all, I don't know them, so I could be wrong.  
  
Oh screw it. Like I care either way.  
  
-------  
  
Hours passed and we finally stopped to make camp. After everyone was settled and eating, I received more proof that I was here just to make them look good.  
  
"It is such a beautiful evening." Sue said softly, her voice no doubt mesmerizing the men. "It reminds me of home."  
  
Mary nodded eagerly. "Yes it does. For in our lands, we take the time to listen to our storytellers on nights such as this."  
  
Pippin looked eager. "What kind of stories do you have? Will you tell us one?"  
  
Sue chuckled. "Oh we are not storytellers, little one."  
  
"But.." Mary began and glanced at me. Her eyes flickered in anger at my refusal to use the name she had made me. "Lacey," Her voice was filled with venom underneath the honey, "is a grand storyteller. Before her family died, she learned many a tale from them." Those green pools of slime she called eyes gleamed. She thought she had cornered me. Make me roast in the spotlight.  
  
I smiled. Wanna bet, bitch? I may work in a crappy job for rent, but one thing I am is a storyteller. My writing may be crap and unfinished, but it's still my only real skill that I enjoy. I'd show her if it killed me.  
  
"She's right." I said sweetly. Unlike them, I didn't bother to change the way I spoke. "As a matter of fact, I think I'll tell one of my favorites.. It's about a girl who has given up hope."  
  
The Fellowship sat quietly as they listened to my story. A girl loses what she believes to be her only connection to life and gives up and retreats into a shell. Then one day she's pulled into a conflict that is not hers, but by watching everyone around her, it makes her realize how even with the darkest of problems, hope can take you anywhere. In the end she not only regains her faith, but finds something more.. Herself. Something she had thought was always out of her grasp.  
  
Of course it was set in a war torn fantasy realm, and she saves the world, but what can I say, I love fantasy.  
  
When I finished my story, I waited in apprehension for negative comments. I should have known better. The Fellowship was filled with far too many good hearted men.  
  
"That was a beautiful tale." Boromir said with a smile.  
  
Aragorn nodded slowly. "Indeed it was. Between the underlining tones was more then one moral. Well done."  
  
"I liked it." Sam quietly commented.  
  
Frodo agreed with a smile. "I have never heard of that tale. I think Bilbo would have liked it very much."  
  
Pippin snored softly and Merry rolled his eyes. "Ignore him. I know I enjoyed it."  
  
Gandalf sat quietly and smoked his pipe, but gave me an encouraging nod. "Well told."  
  
"Did they slay the dragon or not?" Gimli asked gruffly.  
  
"I believe the dragon was the girl." Legolas explained. "You are not meant to find out until the end, and only then if you were paying close attention."  
  
I couldn't help it. I was beaming. I hadn't gotten positive feedback like this since.. a long time ago. They LIKED it. I was giddy.  
  
Not even the murderous looks Mary and Sue were giving me could bring me down.  
  
I enjoyed that night as much as possible, because in my gut, I knew it would be a rare moment.  
  
How right I was.  
  
The next morning it was back to the usual ignoring Lacey routine.  
  
The only one to talk to me was Boromir. As wonderful as it was to have at least one person talking to me..  
  
I was feeling more alone then I had in years. 


	4. Confrontations

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
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Chapter 3 - Confrontations  
  
We sat at the rocky clearing where the Middle Earth version of The Birds was to take place. The journey had been uneventful. Except for one thing. I had a run in with Mary and Sue the night before.  
  
*This is where the intro to a cheesy flashback would be*  
  
I was rebinding my hair after cleaning up in a small stream not far from camp. It was a chilly night but not so much to be uncomfortable. I enjoyed the cold. I'm the crazy girl you would see in the middle of winter in the Midwest wearing shorts while there are several inches of snow on the ground. As I finished my hair I hummed the tune of 'I Want To Be Sedated' by the Ramones.  
  
Another fitting song.  
  
I stopped my unnerving little habit quickly as I felt an involuntary chill. I felt eyes on me. Eric's boyfriend Kyle would call me paranoid, and maybe I am. You try not being paranoid after you've learned every annoying habit from a horror movie. Someone was watching me and I didn't like it all. I reached for my staff, as if that would help me, and a foot planted itself on top of it.  
  
I groaned as I recognized the tailored shoe. "What do you want, Nerissa?"  
  
"What the hell is your problem?" Mary snapped at me. By her side was Sue and they looked extremely peeved.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said with a shrug. "Now move."  
  
She didn't budge. "You made us look bad the other night with that story."  
  
I stared up at her, my ice queen mask taking over my face. "I made YOU look bad? You were the one deliberately putting me on the spot."  
  
"You were supposed to fail and I was going to step in with my own story at the last minute." Mary complained. "I was going to tell Beauty and the Beast!"  
  
"You need to start playing by OUR rules, you little fangirl." Sue sneered. "This is our story, not yours. You're lucky everyone went back to ignoring you, otherwise I'd have to do something humiliating."  
  
"Like what, try to add two and two together?" I tried to remove her foot from my staff. No luck. "Besides, it's not your story! It's Frodo's. It's Tolkien's. But it's not yours. It never will be yours. So why don't you just give it the fuck up?!"  
  
Mary and Sue looked furious and I wasn't very happy myself. Mary placed her hands on her hips. "I don't know how we managed to get stuck with you, but since we did, you either help us get what we want, or we'll make sure you never get home."  
  
"And just what is it you want?" As if I didn't know.  
  
"Legolas and Aragorn." Sue smiled. "If you behave, we won't kill Boromir early like we planned and you'll get to keep him until the fight with that big orc guy."  
  
"Lurtz." I muttered as I stood up. My hands clenched tightly shut. "He's Uruk-Hai. At least try to learn things around here."  
  
"Whatever." Mary snorted. "Now are you going to help me with Legolas or what?"  
  
I flashed a sweet smile. "Oh I'll help all right."  
  
They smiled at me.  
  
I decked Mary and she fell into the stream with a shriek. Sue gasped and grabbed my arm, so I raised my knee and connected to her stomach. With a cry of pain, Sue let go and fell to her knees.  
  
I crouched and retrieved my staff from the grass as Mary rose from the water, if looks could kill..  
  
Well I'd still be standing, because she wasn't that scary.  
  
I stood up and flashed her my favorite faux smile. "Did that hurt?"  
  
She spat out blood with a look of hatred. "You are going to PAY for that."  
  
"Like I care." I snorted and walked away.  
  
"You'll regret this!" Mary said to my back. "You're nothing here! You hear me? Nothing!"  
  
*The standard end of a flashback would go right here.*  
  
She was right though. I was nothing here. I hated her for being right. I glanced at her.  
  
Mary was wandering the area with Legolas, always by his side. She caught me watching and gave me a satisfied look.  
  
I hated her. God I did. I hated myself for letting her get to me. I hated myself for getting worked up over a fictional character who has only said one thing to me the entire trip. I hated myself for making friends with a doomed character.  
  
Most of all, I hated myself for not beating those bitches into oblivion.  
  
I was sitting on a rock not far from Gandalf and Gimli, idly watching Boromir working with Merry and Pippin. The girls hadn't mentioned how I attacked them, and when asked about her bruise, Mary said she and Sue had been sparring and Sue got a lucky shot.  
  
Which meant they were planning something big for revenge.  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck with a bored yawn. I'd have killed for some Pez. Instead, I nibbled on the fruit I had stored in my pouch. I loved my pouch. Nothing spoiled. Nothing disappeared. I had stashed as much stuff as I knew I'd like in it. I had no idea what the hell I was eating, since it was from the random things I had gotten in Rivendell for supplies, but hey, it was good.  
  
I giggled as I watched Boromir get taken down by Merry and Pippin. It cheered me up a bit. When they knocked Aragorn down, I shut up, as I could hear Sue's lilting laughter echo as she watched from the seat she'd been sharing with Aragorn moments before.  
  
I grabbed my staff and made sure once again that nothing was in the hiding place I'd picked out, as Sam spoke up.  
  
His eyes were on the sky. "What is that?"  
  
"Nothing." Gimli said firmly. "It's just a wisp of cloud."  
  
Boromir stopped toying with the hobbits. "It's moving fast. Against the wind."  
  
I waited for Legolas' line, glad that Mary and Sue hadn't taken the time to ruin anyone else's part yet.  
  
"Crebain from Dunland!" The elf exclaimed.  
  
"Hide!" Aragorn ordered urgently.  
  
With a sigh I quickly dove between and under the rocks I had planned for. I managed to smile as Mary and Sue looked completely wigged from the situation.  
  
Aww, poor little things weren't prepared. Ask me if I care.  
  
As the birds flew past, I wondered if I should have hid next to one of the girls so I could have shoved them into the open on accident. Maybe they'd have eaten her or at least carried her off and dropped her from the sky.  
  
A nice big stain on the ground. The perfect way to end a day.  
  
We stepped out of our hiding places when the coast was clear.  
  
"Spies of Saruman." Gandalf informed us. "The passage south is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras." He looked up at the mountain.  
  
So did I. I felt myself go pale. My knees felt weak just thinking about going up there.  
  
Mountains. High. Heights.  
  
My right hand clenched my staff so tightly, that my knuckles went white. As we gathered our supplies, I realized my left hand was still clenched into a fist.  
  
I winced as I opened it, I could see the cuts from where I'd dug my nails into the palm. I sighed and pulled out a bandage from my pouch and wrapped it up after cleaning it quickly, before anyone bothered to notice, then I pulled my gloves back out of the bag and put them back on. No need to call attention to myself.  
  
I closed my eyes and prayed I wouldn't faint.  
  
In case you couldn't tell.. I'm afraid of heights.  
  
------  
  
Going up the snowy landscape was tiresome and hard on the eyes. Glaring white everywhere, as the sun shined down. I thought Midwest winters were a pain in the ass. I hated driving when all the pastures and yards were covered in snow. Shiny does not mean good. Unless it's in jewelry. Even then, only silver.  
  
I heard a tumble and spun around. Frodo had just fallen.  
  
The exchange between Frodo, Aragorn, and Boromir played out perfectly..  
  
Except I noticed Sue walking towards them with a gleam in her eyes. Those silver flecks were glowing red.  
  
Boromir held the ring longer then he should have.  
  
Sue's hand was reaching for her sword hilt..  
  
And as she walked by me, I stuck my staff out and watched her trip over it, landing flat on her face.  
  
Boromir shook his head, as if coming from a daze. He held the ring out to Frodo. "As you wish." He seemed disoriented as Frodo snatched it back. "I care not." With a swift tousling of the halfling's hair, Boromir resumed the trek.  
  
I glanced at Mary who was helping Sue off the ground. They glared at me and I smiled.  
  
"Oops. I didn't see you coming." My hand flew to my mouth in surprise. "It was an accident. I'm very sorry."  
  
Sue gave a brilliant smile and spoke between clenched teeth. "Quite all right. You will just have to be more careful next time."  
  
"So will you." I replied coldly. I knew their game. I wasn't sure how, but I think Sue could manipulate people just enough to get an advantage on them. That would explain why everyone accepted the Lands Beyond crap. When she did, those flecks glowed. Her powers must not have had too much range, as they were trying to win Aragorn and Legolas the hard way.  
  
We started walking again, and I felt myself shaking from what I knew what was coming. Why couldn't I have been a Mary Sue in a simple world? Like X- Men. Or Friday the 13th. I'd rather deal with a homicidal killer then a mountain.  
  
On the bonus side, maybe Mary and Sue could have an 'accident'.. 


	5. Frozen Random Thoughts

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Thanks to the following for giving me feedback!  
  
Majishia, opaque, Reyana Draconis, Dusty Fedora, KazraGirl, Leisha, Xand, Kid Stealth, and Weirdbard.  
  
Feedback keeps me going. That and sugar. And my fangirlish obsessions. If you give me feedback I'll be sure to acknowledge you in updates! Yup!  
  
*Hugs and Pez for all readers out there*  
  
------  
  
Chapter 4 - Frozen Random Thoughts  
  
Sadly, the evil ones did not fall off the mountain. The only thing of notice was me freezing my ass off. I know, I like cold, but holy shit, did you see that scene in the movie? Christ.. Besides, hello? No sleeves here. Bitch and bitchier were perfect as usual. What the fuck are they made out of? Plastic?  
  
No wait.. Silicone. My bad.  
  
I was freezing. We'd made camp after heading back DOWN that damn pass and I was still cold. So cold I couldn't get to sleep. All I wanted was to be curled up under my favorite comforter and clutching one of my stuffed penguins.  
  
Instead, I was lying on the ground with my cloak wrapped tightly around me and as close as I could get to the fire. I could hear Mary and Sue giggling as they talked to each other.  
  
They hadn't tried anything else since the Boromir thing and already I was getting tired of being cautious. I wanted to go home. I wanted out of here. I wanted my favorite movie back to normal so I could be infatuated with Legolas in peace. Ok, I would have settled for having things work to MY advantage, with me and the ability to make a certain elf eating out of the palm of my hand..  
  
But that's the single, desperate, and crush queen part of me talking.  
  
I closed my eyes again and tried to remember the stupid technique my sixth grade health teacher had taught the class to use when trying to fall asleep. Heh. He was cool. He let us watch martial arts movies often in class.. I'm not sure how much time had past, but I started to hear low whispers.  
  
"Is she asleep yet?"  
  
"Yeah. She hasn't moved for an hour."  
  
"So what's the plan?"  
  
"She'll get it in the caves. She won't last five seconds against the orcs."  
  
Mines you moron. The mines of Moria. Arghh.. I was dying here. Did they even see anything besides the eye candy?  
  
Not that the eye candy was bad.. but there was a thing you call.. um.. oh yes.. a story.  
  
I stayed still and let my mind wander at how they were right. No doubt they had perfect fighting skills. What skills did I have? I took a Tae-Bo class one year. My high school gym class did a month of archery. Course.. I wasn't actually there for it..  
  
I was starting to wish I'd taken more self-defense classes. One even.  
  
Not that it mattered. I mean, I'd never killed anything bigger then a mouse. Sure I'm highly volatile and I'm willing to kick the shit out of someone, but kill?  
  
I don't think I have the stomach for it. Real life blood and guts are not my thing. You wouldn't know it from all the horror movies I watch. I can sit through zombies eating flesh and ripping body parts to shreds, cheering through it all, but give me an actual hospital documentary with real footage and I hide under the bed.  
  
Well if I die in Moria, I'm making sure I come back as a poltergeist or something. No way in hell am I letting these two get any life time happys. 


	6. Moria and the Mindless Morons

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
------  
  
Chapter 5 - Moria and the Mindless Morons  
  
The trip to Moria was hell for me. I don't know what else I did to piss them off, but Mary was giving me her version of a death glare the entire time when she thought no one was looking.  
  
Moria was huge. That's the only way my simple mind can explain. It was a pretty cool sight though. Not really my style. I'm not into the whole rocky mine thing.  
  
"Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gimli said as he tapped on the rock face with his ax.  
  
Gandalf's voice echoed from the front of our troupe. "Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten."  
  
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Legolas said in a dry tone.  
  
I snickered from behind him. Yes, lucky me had somehow managed to land near him. Two great things came from that experience. I got a great view and pissed Mary off to the extreme.  
  
Kids, life CAN be sweet.  
  
We came to a stop as Gandalf started dusting off a patch of the rock wall. I wasn't paying too much attention and ran into Legolas.  
  
I frowned at him as he turned around to see who had disturbed his elf perfection of standing. "Rude much?" I snapped. "You're the one who stopped without warning, bucko. So don't be giving me that look."  
  
He arched an eyebrow at me with a curious, but mildly amused, look before turning back without a word.  
  
Sigh. He was adorable when he did that. I once again resisted the urge to swoon.  
  
"Well, let's see." Gandalf muttered as he studied the wall. "Ithildin.. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight."  
  
He looked up at the moon as the dark clouds brushed past it. As the glow from the moon fell onto the stone, the carvings began to glow brightly.  
  
"That's quite a beautiful piece of craftsmanship." Sue said, trying to get the attention of Aragorn.  
  
"Too bad we can't say the same about your mind." I muttered.  
  
I thought I heard a small cough, the kind used to cover up a laugh, and I looked to my side to see Boromir next to me. I smiled at him and he nodded, fully composed.  
  
Hazah! I got someone to laugh. Go me go!  
  
Gandalf pointed to the words on the wall as he spoke. "It reads, 'The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter."  
  
"What do you suppose that means?" Merry asked.  
  
Mary gave him a belittling smile. "It's simple, little hobbit. If you are a friend, you speak the password and it shall open."  
  
Our resident wizard nodded in agreement and placed the top of his staff onto the center of the door. "Annon edhellen, edro hi ammen!" Nothing happened. He tried again. "Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!"  
  
"Nothing's happening." Pippin said.  
  
I stifled a laugh as Gandalf tried pushing the doors. I'm sorry, but it was funny!  
  
Pippin noticed me, and maybe I was contagious, because he had the same look that was no doubt on mine.  
  
I covered my mouth with both hands and let out a giggle and sure enough Pippin let loose too. The others frowned at us and we tried to calm down. Well, Pippin did. Me, I didn't care. This could have been my last chance at laughing, since I'd probably die in the fight.  
  
Luckily Gandalf was so intent on his shoving, that he paid no attention to us.  
  
"I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves, Men, and Orcs." The wizard mumbled as he pushed some more.  
  
Pippin, who still had a bit of mirth in his eyes, shame on me for causing it, asked, "What are you going to do then?"  
  
"Knock your head against these doors, Peregin Took!" He yelled at the poor guy, "And if that doesn't shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words."  
  
Poor Pippin looked down in defeat. I wanted to give him a hug, but I didn't. What is it about hobbits that made you want to just hug them? Is it like a subliminal glamour or something? It draws you just like Las Ketchup does to an ax. I really hate that song of theirs.. I hear that and I want to just go insane and butcher people on the street.  
  
But that isn't the point here.  
  
We all took a break and sat down as Gandalf began to work his mojo. Boredom ensnared the lot of us, or at least me and the hobbits. Merry and Pippin began throwing stones in the water, which we all know what that'd wake up.  
  
Mary and Sue were conversing and casting me suspicious looks.  
  
I was minding my own business and building a tiny tower made of rocks. "Lincoln Logs, eat your heart out. I have a new product. Random Rocks. Build entire cities in centuries. Dwarven lifespan not included."  
  
"What did you say?" Boromir asked me.  
  
I looked over at him with a shrug. "Just talking to myself."  
  
He looked concerned. "Are you all right? You have not seemed yourself lately."  
  
"I'm peachy keen." I sighed at his bewildered look. "I'm fine. Just tired from the long trip." Not to mention paranoid, lonely, and looking forward to my future death scene in like four days.  
  
"This is indeed a long journey." Boromir agreed. "But it must be done."  
  
"Course it does. Because no story is complete with a life changing task." I said. Shrugging, I knocked my building over with a swipe of my hand. "What one builds.. one is destined to destroy." I murmured softly. "Human nature.. build your persona.. and with one mistake.. it can shatter everything."  
  
Thankfully Boromir didn't hear me. Good. I was having a random babbly moment there.  
  
"There is something evil here." Mary said suddenly. Oh wonderful. Here we go. "Do you not feel it, Amalthea?"  
  
Sue ignored her as she walked over to the wall. Gandalf had just sat down in defeat.  
  
Oh god. She was going to steal Frodo's line! No no no!  
  
She smiled as she held her chin in thought. "How amusing!" Gandalf glanced up at her and she continued. "It's a riddle!"  
  
Mary picked up on her cue. "Why of course it is! How could we be so silly and not see it sooner?"  
  
Because the brain the two of you share was busy recharging.  
  
I stood up with a sigh and spotted something move in the water. Hey, maybe I'd die here instead of inside.  
  
"Speak 'friend' and enter!" Mary exclaimed.  
  
Sue nodded happily. "Mellon!"  
  
I was crying on the inside. How can they ruin a moment that belonged to Frodo? Were they planning on taking the ring and destroying it as well?  
  
If they were, I was going to follow them, alive or dead, and push them into the fires myself.  
  
The doors creaked open and the lot of us headed inside.  
  
"Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves." Gimli announced proudly. "Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone!"  
  
Gandalf lit his staff as we entered the dark. I found myself a place far from the doors and ignored the bodies strewn about. I tried not to turn green at the smell of the place. It was foul and felt almost solid, as it was so thick.  
  
Gimli continued proudly, "This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!"  
  
I watched as everyone blanched at the sight before them. Mary and Sue really WERE green! Guess they weren't prepared for this either.  
  
"This is no mine." Boromir uttered. "It's a tomb."  
  
The hobbits gasped as they looked down at the body in front of them.  
  
Gimli stared in horror as the realization of the loss struck him. "No.. No!!!!"  
  
Legolas pulled an arrow out of one of the corpses. With one look he told us the culprit. "Goblins."  
  
The men drew their weapons, as did Mary and Sue. Mary whipped out a bow. Oh god. She was going to impress us with her archery.  
  
I whimpered inwardly.  
  
Boromir spoke quietly but sternly. "We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here." His voice rose, "Now, get out of here. Get out!"  
  
They made their way to the exit. Me? I stayed put. I wasn't going out there only to come back in. Screw that. I winced though as Frodo was pulled out from underneath himself.  
  
Damn tentacle beasts. Don't they know their real home is in some echhi manga?  
  
"Frodo!"  
  
"Strider!" Sam cried out.  
  
Then the bestest ranger in the world got busy saving the day of course.  
  
I couldn't really see the action, which was too bad, but I wasn't going out there to risk a peek. I did however see Mary firing her bow. Perfectly I might add.  
  
I felt myself twitch. How I wanted to take one of her arrows and shove it down her pretty little throat.  
  
I take that back. I wanted to be Evil Willow in Season 6 Buffy. All uber badass and black eyed. Full of power. Rip the flesh off her. Drive a bullet slowly in her chest.  
  
Is that too much to ask?  
  
"Into the mines!" Gandalf shouted.  
  
I stood up straighter and got even further away from the door, but it was dark again. I stumbled over a body and landed on top of it with a thud. "Ow.."  
  
The mines shook as the Fellowship, plus two, came running back in. I got to my knees in time to see, and feel, the opening collapse with a mighty rumble.  
  
Everything went black, until Gandalf lit up his staff. "We now have but one choice."  
  
I resisted the urge to sing that lyric, 'You Light Up My Life' as I stood up. My knees hurt from my fall but I'd live. Thanks for asking.  
  
"We must face the long dark of Moria." He said as he walked. "Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world."  
  
Yes there were, Gandalf. We in the real world call them Mary Sues. 


	7. Revelations

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Feedbackers, I give you thanks:  
  
Xandman, GreyLadyBast, opaque, Alanna, RedRosenberg, and Alsie!!!  
  
*pelts them all with marshmallows*  
  
------  
  
Chapter 6 - Revelations  
  
Aragorn - 20  
  
Sue - 0  
  
We were on our last day in Moria. Surprisingly, I was a happy camper. Sue had tried many times.. but Aragorn politely shot her down.  
  
Blessed be to true love.  
  
Unfortunately, because she had no hope with Aragorn, Sue decided to make sure my life was hell. At any given free moment, she would tell some lie about adventures the three of us took and how incompetent I was.  
  
She shut up the night before, when she tripped on my staff again and fell onto her face. Whoops.  
  
Black and blue look good on her.  
  
At this very moment we were waiting on Gandalf to figure out where we were going. We were scattered on the steps, and ha ha, Legolas was standing in a spot Mary couldn't maneuver her way next to. Not without shoving someone off..  
  
If it wouldn't add a black mark to her record, she probably would have.  
  
The demonic duo was on the other side of Gandalf near the fork, and once again sending me looks and whispering.  
  
Me? I was on the steps next to Pippin. I was trying not to gag from the pipe smoke of Aragorn's.  
  
If I get lung cancer from him, I'm suing. I don't care if he's half of my favorite 'ship and I'm on Middle Earth.  
  
I was only vaguely paying attention, but at Pippin's "I'm hungry." I pulled a piece of fruit from my pouch and handed it to him.  
  
He smiled at me and started eating. "Thanks."  
  
"No problem." I shrugged.  
  
And that was that.  
  
I closed my eyes as Frodo headed for Gandalf and had the Gollum talk and such.  
  
"What are you humming?"  
  
I opened my eyes to see everyone staring at me. I blinked in confusion. "What?"  
  
"The song." Aragorn said. "It was rather haunting."  
  
I fidgeted. "I wasn't aware I was humming." Damn my habits. Next thing you know they'll catch me talking to myself and my 'personalities'.  
  
Legolas softly hummed. "That."  
  
"Oh." I struggled to contain my blush. "It's called 'Bloodletting'."  
  
"Does it have words?" Boromir asked.  
  
I shrugged. "Sure, but I can't remember a single one. Tunes like to stick in my head, but the lyrics tend to go in one ear and out the other."  
  
The answer received a few nods of acceptance. They resumed amongst themselves and I returned to being ignored.  
  
I lied. Of course I remember the words. But I wasn't going to sing. Are you insane? That's the biggest sign of a Mary Sue. It was bad enough I kept humming. To take that final step into the abyss was something I wasn't willing to take.  
  
Not unless I was certain not to humiliate myself. Singing in front of others is very bad. No sir. Not me. There was a reason why I always 'forgot' to attend my high school chorus concerts. Well, besides the fact I rarely attended the class anyway..  
  
"Oh." Gandalf exclaimed. "It's that way."  
  
Time to go. I stood up quickly.  
  
"He's remembered!" Merry said and rose.  
  
"No.." Gandalf said and lit the way down a tunnel. "But the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose."  
  
"Unless you're following a Mary Sue." I said softly as I walked by Mary and Sue. "Then the stench of cheap perfume kills your sense of smell."  
  
I felt their eyes trying to burn holes in my back. I was very glad I wasn't in an X-Men fic after all.  
  
Then again, if I were, I'd turn them over to whatever villain was available.  
  
The arrival to the underground city was uneventful.  
  
"Let me risk a little more light." The halls brightened as Gandalf did so. "Behold.. the great realm and Dwarf-city of Dwarrowdelf."  
  
I found myself in awe yet again. Damn Tolkien and his mastery at creating worlds! Stop awing me already!  
  
"There's an eye opener, and no mistake." Sam said.  
  
All I could muster was a quiet, "Wow."  
  
Mary and Sue looked disinterested and a little disgusted. I guess they didn't like the underground theme. Well I did, mostly. I like basements and such. Indoors is a good place to be. Of course, a person shouldn't take my word for it. After all, I'm the woman who stays inside at every chance she gets.  
  
Once more unto the breach dear fellows, as the walking began yet again. How I wished I had my car. Or a bunch of harem men carrying a throne meant just for me. Would either of those be too much to ask?  
  
Gimli paused and let out a grunting gasp type sound. He bolted for a doorway.  
  
Gandalf turned, "Gimli!"  
  
Naturally we all followed the dwarf into the tomb.  
  
"No!" Gimli cried out in despair. "Oh, no. No.."  
  
I stared at the room that was no doubt going to end up MY tomb as well. That one bright shaft of light on the crypt started to bug me. Where the hell was it coming from? Did someone leave the fridge open or what?  
  
Little things like that get stuck in my head for some reason.  
  
I looked around some more as Gandalf began reading the engravings on the crypt. I needed to find a nice place to die.  
  
Aren't I optimistic?  
  
As I stopped in one corner, Mary came over to me. "Having fun yet?"  
  
"Not yet, but that's because I haven't figured out what to do with your body." I said coolly.  
  
Her green eyes widened. From the looks of things, she thought I was serious. "Well it won't matter now. This is your last stop."  
  
"You're probably right." I told her. "But even if it is, I'll make sure I take you with me."  
  
"Harumph. As if you could." Mary ran a hand through her bouncy curls. Was it just me or did they grow back to normal length already? She walked away and joined Sue near the Hobbits.  
  
I sighed and blew a wisp of my hair away from my face. I leaned against my chosen wall and waited for the scene to play out. Luckily there really wasn't anything for either Mary or Sue to change. Before I knew it, I was zoning ever so slightly. Voices echoed off my ears as my mind went into save power mode.  
  
"We must move on. We cannot linger."  
  
A smile tugged at my lips. Any line said by Legolas always made my knees go weak. Why couldn't there be guys like him in the real world? Or at least in my corner of it. Would it be so bad if I tried to win him? Would it kill me to give in to that impulse?  
  
Probably.  
  
I may accept my death in Moria, but I don't feel like accepting my death by Lord of the Ring fans everywhere.  
  
Besides, my efforts would be wasted. Then again, what efforts? Since when did I ever make a move on a guy?  
  
My thoughts made me remember a conversation I'd had not long before I started this hellish journey.  
  
I had been in the bar, on the corner of my street, hanging out with my neighbors across the hall..  
  
*Watch out, we have another useless and random flashback for me.*  
  
Mavra took a drink of her rum and coke. "It's no wonder you can't get laid. The key to doing it is by socializing."  
  
I tore my gaze off the news screen on the tv behind the bar. "Where did that come from?"  
  
"She thought of it when you completely ignored the guy who just hit on you." James said.  
  
"There was a guy?" I asked in confusion. "Where?"  
  
"Are you sure you aren't drunk?" Laz asked me. He was the bartender here, but was taking a break to visit with us. "You look more vacant then usual. Anyone you want me to help kill?"  
  
I grinned. "Not today, Laz." I gave him my drink, as I hadn't touched it. I was never much of a drinker. "Although I do appreciate you encouraging my violent urges."  
  
James chuckled. "As if you needed encouraging."  
  
"Har har." I said and stuck my tongue out at him. "So what's this about me and my social life again?"  
  
Mav shrugged. "Look, I know you have high ideals, but Jesus Christ. Get with the times, make a move or at least acknowledge it when they make one on you."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "If they can't grab my attention with their first sentence, there's no point."  
  
"Maybe you should just become a nun." Mavra said.  
  
"She can't do that." Laz insisted.  
  
"I don't think they'd appreciate the weapons." James added.  
  
I smacked them both upside their heads. "Oh shut up." I grinned. "Just remember, you're the ones who gave them to me."  
  
*Time to end that useless bit of info*  
  
I finally came out of my trip down memory lane as a loud crash echoed off the walls. I stood up straighter and walked to the back of the room as Gandalf yelled at poor Pippin again.  
  
"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity." Gandalf growled and snatched his hat and staff back.  
  
Again I wanted to comfort poor Pippin. I mean, let's face it, he gets yelled at a lot in this story. But I didn't. I remained standing in the back of the room and praying to the powers that be for a miracle.  
  
All was still quiet.. and then the drums sounded.  
  
Everyone started looking around, and Sam caught a glimpse of Frodo's blade, Sting.  
  
"Frodo!"  
  
Frodo pulled out his sword as it glowed a bright blue.  
  
"Orcs." Legolas hissed.  
  
Boromir ran to the doors and reared his head back, narrowly missing the two arrows that struck the door.  
  
Aragorn took charge. "Get back! Stay close to Gandalf!" He ran over to Boromir and they shut the worn doors.  
  
"They have a cave-troll." Boromir informed us.  
  
Legolas tossed them a couple of large axes and they used them to help barricade the door.  
  
They all stepped back near the rest of us and everyone drew their weapons. I gripped my staff tightly and forced a cool look on my face as Mary and Sue smirked at me knowingly.  
  
I wished Laz were here to wipe those smirks off their faces.  
  
Gimli stepped onto the crypt with a fierce growl. "Let them come! There is one dwarf yet in Moria that still draws breath."  
  
I bit my lip to keep from whimpering. I sooo did not want to be in the middle of this battle.  
  
A hole broke though the door and Legolas fired his bow. Aragorn and Mary swiftly followed suit. Then the doors burst apart as orcs filled the room. In no time everyone was fighting in close quarters.  
  
Except me.  
  
I frowned. The room was filled and yet not a single orc was attacking me. What the hell? I whacked a nearby orc on the chest, but he merely shook it off and ignored me as he went after Sue.  
  
"Son of a fucking bitch." I exclaimed as it all dawned on me.  
  
I wasn't just a Mary Sue.  
  
I was a fucking Convenient Plot Device!!  
  
That would explain why no one hardly ever paid attention to me. Why I was shoved into the background most of the time. No one 'saw' me unless it was convenient.  
  
And apparently I wasn't important enough to the plot for this fight.  
  
I sighed bitterly as I sat down in a somewhat empty spot near a corner. I may not have wanted to die, but to be a CPD was just an insult. Now I really WANTED to die.  
  
The cave-troll burst in and I watched in bitterness as Mary and Sue masterfully avoided every attack. Oh sure they had a few choice cuts here and there, but nothing that would mar their perfect faces.  
  
I winced as I watched Boromir get thrown across the room.  
  
I didn't just sit there either. I picked up random objects nearby and threw them at the orcs. If anyone came near me I tripped or whacked them. But still, no one paid any attention to me.  
  
What was this, high school?  
  
Finally Mary came stumbling nearby and out of sheer malice I swung my staff at her legs and she fell like a ton of bricks. I smiled in grim satisfaction, but it quickly faded, as Legolas magically appeared to help her up.  
  
Mary grinned widely at me before resuming the fight and Legolas cast me a dark look that I couldn't read.  
  
Wonderful.  
  
Then I was tackled to the cold hard floor. I gasped for air and managed to see Sue staring down at me, her eyes in a rage.  
  
"If they won't kill you, I will." She hissed and raised her sword. "I can see you just fine."  
  
I grinned. "But do you see him?"  
  
Sue spun around in time to see an orc swinging his sword down. She dived out of the way and I rolled in the opposite direction, narrowly avoiding what would have been a killing blow.  
  
I sat up and pushed myself against the closest wall, my chest pounding in horror.  
  
Holy shit, Sue was psycho! I knew she wanted Aragorn, but fuck, to kill a human being over a story?? I hadn't even done anything to directly ruin them! (Tripping doesn't count!) Was my mere presence harming them? I franticly searched the room for her or Mary and was relieved to see them engrossed in the fight again.  
  
Oh god.. what the hell have I gotten into?  
  
I sighed again (sighing seemed to be my permanent state of expression) and decided to do something constructive to keep me calm as I kept my eyes on the murderous whores.. I fixed my hair. 


	8. Bridging a Gap

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Thanks again to the following, cause I love feedback.. hee  
  
Alsie (Uber Goddess of Death) hee, GreyLadyBast, BookCrazy77, Xandman, Dusty Fedora, pellagolloien   
  
------  
  
Chapter 7 - Bridging a Gap  
  
As the battle wound down, I had come to another realization.  
  
Legolas was even more swoon worthy when he was in battle.  
  
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I get worked up over someone like this in the real world? Why oh why must I have impossible standards?  
  
I bet if I were in a Dragonlance story, I wouldn't be a sorry ass version of a MS or a CPD. Now that's a world I could work with. Go find Raistlin and hit on him until he killed me. Better yet, I could bitch him out for causing one of my worst habits. Or I could find some Kender to hang out with.  
  
I really should have been fighting. After all, I had an advantage. But I wasn't. Not really. It hurt to know I was just a tool. A useless one at that. Who would be so cruel to use a person like that? Why was I chosen to be subjected to it?  
  
If I had a therapist, he'd have a field day with the thoughts going through my head.  
  
"Frodo!!!"  
  
I glanced over to see Frodo impaled by the cave-troll's spear. Ah. The battle was finishing up. It was about time.  
  
Everyone's fighting prowess increased by rage and what not as Frodo fell.  
  
I merely stood up and waited.  
  
As Legolas fired the final arrow at the cave-troll, it let out a sea lion type moan before finally collapsing onto the floor, sending Pippin flying onto it as well.  
  
Everyone headed over to Frodo and I stepped over to Pippin and held out my hand. He took it gratefully as I pulled him to his feet. I ruffled the hair on his head absently with a small smile.  
  
"Oh, no." Aragorn murmured as he turned Frodo over.  
  
Frodo let out a gasp of air and a cough as Sam rushed over to him.  
  
"He's alive." Sam said, his voice filled with utter relief.  
  
"I'm all right. I'm not hurt." Frodo assured us.  
  
"You should be dead!" Mary exclaimed. Great. Stealing Aragorn's lines too? Now they were just doing it out of spite!  
  
"That spear would have skewered a wild boar." Aragorn finished.  
  
Gandalf walked forward slowly. "I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye."  
  
Frodo opened his shirt, revealing the Mithril chain underneath.  
  
Lucky bastard.  
  
"Mithril." Gimli uttered. He gave Frodo a gruff look. "You are full of surprises, Master Baggins."  
  
Sounds of orcs echoed and interrupted the happy moment.  
  
"To the Bridge of Khazad-dum!" Gandalf ordered.  
  
I turned as white as a snow. Oh god. No no no! I forgot! I was so sure I was going to die here, I had forgotten about the bridge!!  
  
The steps.  
  
The broken steps.  
  
The broken steps that were very high from the bottom.  
  
The broken steps that were very high from the bottom that you couldn't see.  
  
I swallowed hard as I joined the others in our fleeing spree, all the while thinking about the many horrible ways to fall.  
  
So intent on my visuals, I was able to ignore the orcs as they swarmed us.  
  
We were forced to stop as they surrounded us. My jaw dropped. There were so many of them..  
  
Lucky for me, I was invisible to them. At least I'd get out of this alive if we were to fight for some reason. But at the sight of so many, I couldn't help but wish for a tank or maybe a Gundam. Or maybe some of my pal Ricky's day old pizza from work. That stuff could kill an entire town.  
  
I waited. I wasn't disappointed.  
  
The Balrog's calling card sound came crashing through the city and sent chills down everyone's back. The orcs panicked and scattered to the winds.  
  
Isn't it always comforting to see something like that?  
  
My eyes fell on the fiery red light that slowly started moving.  
  
"What is this new devilry?" Boromir asked Gandalf.  
  
Gandalf concentrated and I started backing up. I didn't want to be here. For all I knew I could be very much visible to the likes of a Balrog.  
  
"A Balrog." The old man stated. "A demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!"  
  
We bolted.  
  
We reached the wonderful world of steps and I barely kept myself composed. This was my worst nightmare. Too high, too high..  
  
And then we stopped. The broken stairs. I swallowed and let out a small inward whimper as I involuntarily looked down. No way. NO FUCKING WAY.  
  
I spun around to go back up. "Fuck this," I muttered. "I'm taking my chances with the Balrog!"  
  
Suddenly I felt a strong grip on my arm and was pulled close to Legolas as he jumped over the space easily. He set me down and resumed his role of helping the others.  
  
I stumbled down the steps a bit, shaking like a leaf.  
  
H..h.. he..  
  
He is SO dead!!!  
  
I wanted to shove that elf off the steps right then and there. I didn't care who the hell he was, you just didn't DO that!!!  
  
A second later I had composed what would be my first book.  
  
101 Ways To Skewer An Elf.  
  
My legs were like jello, but I went ahead and walked away from them all. I let out a shriek as I felt myself stumble. I barely caught my balance a couple of feet from the edge and turned around.  
  
Mary was standing there, her eyes ablaze.  
  
Oh fuck.  
  
She stepped forward, "You are NOT living through this."  
  
I resisted the urge to step back. I kept my cool. "Says you." I looked up at the Fellowship, everyone, including Sue, was too busy worrying about Frodo and Aragorn.  
  
Mary caught me looking and her mouth curved into a cat ate the canary smile. "They're busy. Now why don't you make it easy on us all and just jump?" She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "No one will miss you."  
  
"Fuck you!" I screamed. So much for my cool. "I'm already a fucking Convenient Plot Device! Now you want me to commit suicide? GO FUCK YOURSELF!!"  
  
Mary frowned. "A CPD?" Her eyes narrowed. "Whatever. Who cares?" She stepped forward again.  
  
This time I stupidly retreated involuntarily. I saw her grin as I stepped a bit too far and I let out cry as I slipped.  
  
I saw a blur pass by Mary, and I was grabbed before falling off the ledge. I found myself looking up at Boromir. He made sure I was stable again before approaching Mary.  
  
There was a rumble as the ceilings began to fall. I saw the rock come crashing down on the steps behind Frodo and Aragorn.  
  
Boromir saw it too but continued over to Mary, his face filled with fury. His hand was at the hilt of his sword. "I do not know what you are planning, but if you dare threaten her life, voluntarily or no, I shall kill you without a thought."  
  
My jaw dropped. Someone was sticking up for me! I stuck my tongue out at Mary and her face turned red.  
  
But then she shrugged and stared at Boromir. "You'll get yours." Her eyes fell on me. "You both will."  
  
I paled, realizing she was right.  
  
By then the others finally joined us and we were forced to start running again.  
  
Then it was the end of the road.. and a parting of ways.. we had crossed the bridge.  
  
Gandalf faced off with the Balrog.  
  
That was when I finally took the chance to see him. I nearly fainted. He was huge. A walking demonic inferno of evil. It wasn't the look that terrified me. It was his 'aura'. I don't care if you don't believe in that sort of thing or not. The Balrog wafted so much evil, that even a corpse would be afraid of the darkness. It smothered you with the foulness of his very being.  
  
I had a new nightmare in store for me that night. I was starting to miss my old zombie filled dreams..  
  
"You cannot pass!" Gandalf shouted.  
  
We all stood and watched in horror. Even Sue and Mary were horrified. Maybe they WERE human, despite the murder attempts. But then they flashed each other devious smiles.  
  
Maybe not.  
  
Wouldn't they just be uber pissed when Gandalf comes back?  
  
"Gandalf!!" Frodo cried out.  
  
The Balrog rose from his crouch, spread his wings and flexed as he roared. The flames climbed in defiance of the wizard.  
  
Flame on. I groaned on the inside at that one.  
  
"I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor." The Balrog pulled out a blazing sword as Gandalf continued. "The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun!"  
  
A white light surrounded him and the Balrog swung his blade atop the barrier of light. The sword 'shattered' and the Balrog reared back and let loose a roar that made Sue shriek.  
  
"Go back to the Shadow." Gandalf hissed. He stepped back as the Balrog brought out a bullwhip of flame. "You shall not pass!!" He slammed his staff onto the bridge and the light filled the cavern.  
  
The Balrog stormed forward, but Gandalf held his ground and the bridge collapsed from beneath the demon. Into the darkness he fell, and as Gandalf turned to us, his foul whip snapped up and grabbed Gandalf by the ankle. Gandalf the Grey was pulled off the bridge, and hung on just enough to stare at us.  
  
Everyone shouted in horror and started for him.  
  
But his steely gaze stopped us. "Fly, you fools!"  
  
And he was gone.  
  
I shook my head as we fled. One down. But at least he'd get to come back.  
  
I cast a sad glance at Boromir when we were outside.  
  
I really wanted to go home now.  
  
I shut my thoughts of that away again and instead basked in the fact we were outside again. I hadn't realized I'd missed it so much. I allowed myself only a brief moment before studying everyone's reaction to Gandalf's 'death'.  
  
The hobbits were all crying. Gimli seemed to want to go back in for him as Boromir held him back and tried to stay composed. Legolas just looked bewildered or maybe lost.  
  
The evil ones were crying. Give them an Oscar already.  
  
I was calm. Not just because I knew he'd be back, but also because I had never cried for a death. I just didn't do it. Not even when I was five. I have never cried once over a real person's death. And believe me, I've lost plenty of family members. But still.. not one tear shed.  
  
It was another thing to bring up with my future therapist.  
  
Aragorn wiped his blade, his face fixed in what could be called the leader look, "Legolas, get them up."  
  
"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir insisted emotionally.  
  
"By nightfall, these hills will be swarming with orcs." Aragorn pointed out, his leader look turning darker. "We must reach the woods of Lothlorien."  
  
Boromir looked away. So did I. Amon Hen was not too far ahead..  
  
"Come, Boromir. Legolas. Gimli, get them up." The ranger said again. He deftly ignored Mary and Sue.  
  
They were not pleased and cast me the gaze of doom.  
  
Okay, so I'm getting blamed for that too??  
  
They wouldn't try anything anytime soon, as I caught Boromir narrowing his eyes at them. They saw it too and looked away and began whispering.  
  
That wasn't good.  
  
Goddess.. that was when I managed to see Frodo, full of sadness and tears on his face. Add that to the rest of the Fellowship's despair, and I wanted to scream out how Gandalf would be okay.  
  
How everyone would be fine. Warn Boromir about his fateful end. Make everyone happy by telling them what was going to happen.  
  
But I held my tongue and I held back the tears that I felt threatening to come. It wasn't supposed to be like this. In my daydreams I would help them out. I would be.. a Perfect Mary Sue. Make everything better for them. No one would die, and the world would still be saved. No one would hurt.  
  
I wouldn't feel for people who weren't real.  
  
It wasn't supposed to be this way.  
  
But it was.  
  
And there was nothing I could do to change it. 


	9. Five Letter Words

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Oh! More thank yous to send. And I'll even start to comment back!  
  
Horse Tamer's Daughter: I hope I had that 'tude pegged, I've been hearing the stories from siblings and parent for years.. rofl..  
  
Opaque: Poor Lacey indeed.. She needs a hug. lol  
  
KoUsagi: Great? lol thanks, I'm not really, but I fake it as much as possible. ^_~. Dragonlance.. Whee¼ Lordee I loooove DL!! *Drags Raistlin over by the ear and makes him wave* I have the kidnappees to prove it! lol  
  
Pellagolloien: Pairings? That's a subject I still have yet to solidify. But.. There is a strong possibility, depending on my mood, whims, and how much sugar I have on hand. lol  
  
Thanks again for the feedback, and as long as someone's reading.. I'll keep on going. At least until the end of the story. lol  
  
  
For more proof of my boredom.. Another cover. lol  
  
http://www.marua.com/silence/doodles/confessionscover2a.jpg  
  
------   
  
Chapter 8 - Five Letter Words   
  
  
  
It's official.  
  
Walking sucks.  
  
The trip to Lothlorien progressed quietly, as everyone was still mourning the loss of Gandalf. The damned dimwits had yet to pull any other assassination attempts on me. They focused their skills into gaining sympathy by crying all the time. Silent cries mind you.  
  
It was very annoying to see them get attention. But we all knew that.  
  
The woods where the elves would find us stood in front of us and we ran inside.  
  
I was getting a bit lightheaded from so much physical labor since I'd arrived, that my mind wasn't itself.  
  
I started singing.  
  
Oh no, not anything like Mary and Sue.  
  
"C is for cookie.. it's good enough for me.." I sang softly under my breath. I could have killed myself right there. Not only was I singing, but I was singing THAT. Now I'd never get that tune out of my head.  
  
The worst part was that I couldn't remember the rest of the song.  
  
Before I knew it though, I was standing as stiff as Spike when in sight of Buffy, as an arrow was pointed at me.  
  
Look! Elves!  
  
Their leader, who's name escaped me, stepped out from behind one of the others. "The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark."  
  
The blonde elf (okay, they were all blonde), who was aiming his bow at me, stared down and I smiled widely.  
  
"Rubber ducky, you're the one.. you make bath time lots of fun.."  
  
He stared at me as if I were insane, and lately I've been wondering about that too. "I believe this one's mind is addled."  
  
Mary grinned wickedly. "She's taken one too many blows to the head."  
  
Still facing the arrow aimed at me, I eyed her carefully. "Better to have those then the list of heads you've blown."  
  
Her mouth fell open and I swear I saw her start twitching.  
  
I smirked at her as we were led away.  
  
-------   
  
Waiting is always fun. It was dark and Aragorn was arguing with leader elf about us passing into Lothlorien.  
  
Mary was next to Legolas of course, and Sue was 'helping' Aragorn. I think she was making things worse. I was sitting next to Boromir and Frodo, my eyes still on Legolas. A wistful sigh fluttered on the inside.  
  
I was tempted to start singing the theme to Sesame Street to snap myself out of the swoon worthy mode, but it really didn't fit the mood that had fallen over us.  
  
Frodo looked around sadly, and everyone seemed to look away. Sucks to be the hero of a story, doesn't it.  
  
"Gandalf's death was not in vain." Boromir said to the hobbit. "Nor would he have you give up hope. You carry a heavy burden, Frodo. Don't carry the weight of the dead."  
  
Frodo took a moment.. and then he did the strangest thing. He turned to me. "Why do you do that?"  
  
I blinked, he'd never said a word to me since the story incident. "Do what?"  
  
"Watch." Frodo said. Boromir looked curious as well as the halfling continued. "You watch everyone as if you know what we're going to say before we say it. There are times.. where it seems as if nothing surprises you."  
  
Where was that damn leader elf? He should be telling us to follow him by now. I shot a nervous look at him, and as I figured, Sue had somehow hindered the negotiations and they were still arguing.  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck. "I've seen a lot. Not as much as some of you, but in my own way, I've seen more. It's hard to explain, but the jist of it is, is that I guess I'm a bit jaded." I let out a deep breath and blew wisps of hair from my face. "Nothing surprises me anymore."  
  
"Why did Amalthea attack you?" Frodo asked suddenly.  
  
My eyes widened, as did Boromir's. The hobbit had noticed? Through that fight he'd seen it? He shouldn't have. I'm a CPD. What good would it be for Frodo to see it?  
  
I glanced at Sue, who had her mouth shut and was a few feet away from Aragorn now. She did not look pleased. He must have finally told her to butt out. Good.  
  
"When did this happen?" Boromir demanded, forcing my attention back. "Why did you not tell me?"  
  
"It was in the battle with the cave-troll." Frodo explained. "I saw it, I would have warned someone, but everything turned out all right in the end."  
  
Now they were both staring at me, waiting for an explanation.  
  
Should I tell the truth, or should I lie? I opened my mouth..  
  
"You will follow me."  
  
I nearly cheered in relief. Saved by the leader elf. I leapt to my feet and got away from Boromir and Frodo, but both shot me looks that screamed 'the matter isn't done'."  
  
But it was. Because we would be far too busy for them to bring it up again.  
  
-------   
  
Breathtaking. That was the only way to describe it. (I will not taint Tolkien's world with my own description. Call me lazy all you want, but go read his books damn it! Detail is something he was great at. Too much detail at ti.. Er.. never mind.) I found myself staring at the majesty of the trees and the way they were illuminated.  
  
If nature always looked this beautiful, I'd happily adapt and become nature girl.  
  
We climbed spirals around the trees until we were brought to an equivalent of a throne room.  
  
For the record, I did not look down. I thought it best that way. Even so, I was breathing very quickly and my heart was racing the entire time. I'm so brave aren't I.  
  
A bright light shined down from above, signifying Galadriel and Celeborn's entrance. I winced at it and I wished I had my sunglasses. Knock off Oakleys, but hey, they only cost me four dollars.. I fidgeted and that's when I realized I got lucky and was standing closer to Legolas than Mary.  
  
Although it was strong, I did not give in to the temptation of mocking Mary with it. I had to at least PRETEND to be mature here.  
  
Instead I only vaguely listened to Celeborn and Galadriel talk about how Gandalf was missing. I ignored the line about how many were here. I didn't need to be reminded of how we unwelcome women had ruined that well enough.  
  
I held back the giggle as I stared at Celeborn. I kept wanting to scream, 'Hey, Borias!'  
  
"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land." Galadriel's blue eyes gazed at us, and possibly into our souls. "He has fallen into Shadow."  
  
I tried not to fidget anymore, I so didn't want her looking at, or into, me. God knows what she'd find there. I seriously needed to get a vacuum cleaner for the soul. Maybe I could find one on Ebay.  
  
Everyone looked almost ashamed at that. It was more then likely just the pain of the loss, but it still looked like shame. Maybe I was just tired.  
  
"He was taken by both Shadow and flame." Legolas explained softly. "A Balrog of Morgoth. For we went needlessly into the net of Moria."  
  
Gimli hung his head down in shame, sorrow, and then some.  
  
Galadriel continued to speak, and that's when I heard it.  
  
"You do not belong here."  
  
I stared at the Lady Galadriel, and I knew I looked like wide-eyed kitten. Holy f—watch the language, watch the language.. She was still talking to everyone else as if nothing was happing.  
  
I scoured the others and I saw that Mary and Sue looked positively freaked. Tsk tsk. They've been bad.  
  
Her voice continued to float through my head, "However.. Your fate is still undecided.. You have a role to play.. as do we all."  
  
That was it? No scary message of doom? No death threats from LotR fans back in the real world for the atrocity I was in? No whispers of hope and to have faith? It was nothing life changing at all. Just the things I already suspected.  
  
What a crock!!  
  
As we were led away, I swore I saw her eyes stare at me in amusement.  
  
Now THAT creeped me out.  
  
--------   
  
We made camp back on solid ground and I wanted to fall to my knees and kiss it. I didn't though, because, eww, dirt? I don't think so. I'm desperate for a date, but not that desperate.  
  
I made sure I was far enough from the others so that I could keep an eye on Mary and Sue, and avoid everyone else. I needed to stay away. While Galadriel hadn't done anything impressive for me, I still had a lot to think about.  
  
Amon Hen.  
  
The place where everyone's paths were to be separated. What was I going to do? I'd been a good girl so far. I've tried to avoid interfering too much, but now I wasn't sure anymore.  
  
I watched as Mary and Sue fell asleep quickly . I guess they were too wigged out by Galadriel to work on the boys again.  
  
What were they going to do there? The place would be chaotic. There would be no way for anyone to keep track of them. They could do virtually anything they pleased.  
  
Kill me, kill Boromir, kidnap Aragorn, kidnap Legolas.. maybe get killed by some Uruk-Hai. That last part was too much to hope for..  
  
The song the elves sang drifted on the wind as everyone else settled down.  
  
"A lament for Gandalf." Legolas said as he stopped walking.  
  
Merry looked up, "What do they say about him?"  
  
Legolas looked morose. "I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still to near."  
  
Won't you be happy to see Gandalf later. I wonder if I'll get to see that, or if I'm meant for some big death scene to make everyone miserable.  
  
"I bet they don't mention his fireworks." Sam said as he fixed his bed for the night. "There should be a verse about them."  
  
He stood up, a little nervous, but his voice strong. "The finest rockets ever seen. They burst in stars of blue and green. Or after thunder, silver showers. Came falling like a rain of flowers.." Sam's voice trailed off and his face filled with disappointment as he sat back down. "Oh, that doesn't do them justice by a long road."  
  
I smiled weakly. I liked it, but the way he seemed to give up in the end.. it made me remember how futile everything seemed to them now.  
  
How everything was useless for me.  
  
What was I doing here? Why me? Why did I have to see these people suffer in person? I didn't care about them. No person in their right mind who has my knowledge of things to come would sit back and let things happen if they cared.  
  
But that was a lie.  
  
I cared. More then I should. Yet I still did nothing. All for the sake of not ruining a story or interfering with a set path.  
  
Or was it something else?  
  
I wanted to scream, it was all so confusing. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them as I stared into space.  
  
Try as hard as I did, I could not shake my infatuation with Legolas, just as I couldn't shake my friendship with Boromir. They just kept growing as the days wore on.  
  
The truth was, I didn't want to shake them. Those two things were all I had here.   
  
And I was going to lose one of them soon.  
  
Too many things.. too soon..  
  
It wasn't Sue and Mary that I feared either..  
  
It was me.  
  
Mary's words were etched in my memory.   
  
"You're nothing here!!"  
  
"No one will miss you."  
  
I believed her. She was right. What did I offer to anyone here that someone else couldn't already provide?  
  
What kind of Convenient Plot Device was I? I just couldn't figure it out and the same questions repeated themselves. Why?  
  
I tried to shut the voices up, but they were merely replaced with the knowledge that soon I was going to lose the only person I could even partially talk to in this world.  
  
I swallowed hard. I could feel the tears well up as the more I thought about it, the more it hurt. I didn't want to lose my only friend. I could fix it. I could change it. Couldn't I?  
  
Shouldn't I?  
  
I didn't know what to do..  
  
The tears began to fall softly and I turned my head down so no one would notice. As if they would..   
  
What was I supposed to do?  
  
Follow the rules set by Tolkien or follow the rules of basic friendship?  
  
I've tried to maintain some ounce of story to everything, but just as the Fellowship was unraveling, so was the story.  
  
So was I.  
  
I'm not sure how long I cried, but I tired myself out with my thoughts and self issued misery. Before I finally fell asleep, was when I realized someone had been watching me.. 


	10. A Decision Made

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
The end is coming.. Yes you heard me. How close? This fic was to end at the end of the Fellowship film. I MIGHT go a touch farther if my whim says to, but that would cause me to take even more creative liberties, which I'm not sure I want to do. We'll see.  
  
On to the comments and acknowledgements!  
  
KazraGirl: *gives a cookie* I've never put a person I didn't know in awe before.. I'm not sure if I should be glad or not. lol  
  
Psycho Goddess: *hands a tissue* We'll see.. Hehe.  
  
Shadow975: You know.. I'm seeing a trend with this "Save Boromir".. Hehe, I'm glad you're getting a kick out of this! I get a kick out of just writing it. It's crazy.. lol  
  
Kayli: See? Is this fast enough? Lol And I'm trying to write more!!  
  
Lady Eirtae: Another vote to save good old Boromir. You know, I'm starting to think not everyone hates him after all.. Lol  
  
Pellagolloien: Cliffhangers, I kinda hate those myself.. But it doesn't stop me from writing them.. Lol, I'm evil.  
  
GreyLadyBast: Hehe, it is a toughie.. As for more telling off of the Evil Ones.. *smiles*  
  
Wingstar: Boromir, Boromir, well.. Everyone will just have to see. Lol.  
  
Thanks again to everyone who has given me feedback and read the fic! And thanks to my fellow Palace junkies!! Uber hugs to all!!  
  
------   
  
Chapter 9 - A Decision Made  
  
My mood hadn't changed much as we received our little farewell gifts of elven cloaks and clasps. I stuck to myself, ignored everyone as best as possible and was generally.. Not 'there'.  
  
I could feel eyes on me. It was no doubt Boromir or the whoreish horrors. Still, I ignored it all.  
  
"Do not allow yourself to fall into darkness."  
  
Instantly, I stood up straighter and tried to hide my surprise from the Lady Galadriel. She had given some of the others their gifts and was staring at me.  
  
What the hell?  
  
She gave me a soft smile and took my hand. Placing an object in it, Galadriel said not a word until she closed my hand over it.  
  
"Hope comes in many forms." She practically glowed with power. "Remember to take it with you."  
  
My face filled with utter confusion, I still managed a somewhat respectful thank you as she moved on.  
  
Not long after, we headed for the boats.  
  
Did I mention I couldn't swim?  
  
------   
  
While I couldn't swim, I wasn't afraid of the water. There are worst ways to go, right?  
  
I was rather relaxed actually. Mostly because I wasn't sharing a boat with Mary and Sue. Oh you should have seen that.  
  
*Let's have a look back.. Kay?*  
  
Everyone was packing away our provisions into the boats and I was toying with Galadriel's gift a bit. I wasn't too far from Merry and Pippin, mostly because I just had to watch a certain scene in person.  
  
"Lembas." Legolas said to Merry and Pippin. He had a slightly pleased look on his face. "Elvish waybread." He took a bite of the bread he had been waving around. "One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man."  
  
The handsome elf stepped away and Merry moved over next to Pippin.  
  
"How many did you eat?" Merry asked.  
  
"Four." Pippin said and was quickly followed by a rather rude sound.  
  
I snickered but quickly stopped as Mary and Sue walked over to me.  
  
Mary flipped those tresses over her shoulder. "You'll be riding with us."  
  
"You'll enjoy the ride." Sue said with a cold smile. "I hear the river has a strong current."  
  
I wasn't up for this. I shrugged. "Whatever."  
  
"Not fighting back?" Mary taunted. "Poor little Lacey have a problem?"  
  
"Nothing that can't be solved with me holding you under the water." I snapped. Her tone irritated me. It was a superior voice that implied she'd already won our little war.  
  
Boromir interrupted our little version of a civil conversation. "Lacey. You will be riding with Legolas and Gimli."  
  
I nearly swooned.  
  
Mary turned a new shade of red.  
  
Sue merely glowered at Boromir and I.  
  
Yeah, if we got out of Amon Hen alive, I'd never hear the end of it.  
  
*Moving on..*  
  
So here I was in the same boat as an elf and a dwarf who were reminiscing about their gifts. My thoughts were on more important matters, such as my plans.  
  
I still wasn't sure what I was going to do. How do you know when you're following your instincts.. and when you're playing God?  
  
"I have taken my worst wound at this parting.." Gimli started. "Having looked my last upon that which is fairest." He let out a dreadful sigh. "Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me."  
  
"What was her gift?" Legolas asked.  
  
"I asked her for one hair from her golden head." The dwarf paused. "She gave me three."  
  
I smiled from my spot as I toyed with my own gift again.  
  
We traveled in silence, and I realized the further we went, the closer to.. It, we got.  
  
I bit my lip and tried to stay focused on anything but that.  
  
I started humming again. At least it was a step up from the Sesame Street songs the other day.  
  
My eyes were closed tightly and I suppose I dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Legolas was staring down at me from where we had docked to make camp for the night.  
  
He held out his hand to me, and I glanced around and noticed everyone else was already on land. I was glad for the darkness, as it covered my slight blush of embarrassment.  
  
I took it and he helped me out of the boat. Sadly, Legolas let go of my hand as soon as I was on the ground.  
  
"Thanks." I muttered and wandered away. I needed some alone time again.  
  
------   
  
I didn't get much of it. An hour had barely passed before the award winning stalker team decided to pay me a visit.  
  
The first thing I heard was a sword being pulled out of it's sheath. I continued to brush my hair. I'd have killed for my lavender shampoo now. "Hello, Amalthea. Is Nerissa with you?"  
  
"Nerissa is busy with Legolas." Sue replied as I turned around. "You're by yourself now. Boromir is a bit too busy with Aragorn to help you."  
  
I shrugged. I wasn't sure if I cared anymore. But far be it of me to let this bitch know that. "I don't need him."  
  
Her perfect little eyebrow rose. "Oh really? Why's that?"  
  
"Because if you kill me here, they'll know."  
  
"They won't care."  
  
"Maybe, but that means everyone will still need to take a few moments to mourn me. They aren't that indifferent to me." I ran a hand through my hair as I stood up. "That means taking attention away from you."  
  
Sue frowned. She hadn't thought of that. Then she smiled. "Well then.. I guess it'll have to wait until Amon Hen. We can mourn you as we mourn for Boromir."  
  
My eyes narrowed. "That's what you think."  
  
"What, are you going to try and save him?" Sue snorted. "After all this bitching about us ruining this lame ass story, you're going to do the same thing?"  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Oh I don't?" She sheathed her sword and stormed over to me. "You're doing the exact same thing."  
  
"Maybe, but at least my reasons are valid if I were!" I snapped. "You.. You and Nerissa, you two are just doing it for the eye candy!"  
  
Sue smiled. "True, but you know full well you'd do the same thing if you could."  
  
I shook my head vehemently. "Maybe in the beginning, but not now. Not after everything I've seen. I'm NOT like you and I thank whatever Powers That Be for that."  
  
She shoved me, causing me to stumble back. "You really think you're better then us?"  
  
"I know I am." I sneered. I was tired, cranky and I had been through enough of their shit to last me a lifetime. I punched her in the stomach and she went down faster then she probably did on the last person to flash her a quarter.  
  
Sue started coughing as she tried to catch her breathe. I briefly struggled with the urge of kicking her while she was down. Instead, I walked away, leaving her on the ground and muttering about how painful my death was going to be.  
  
Well fuck you too, bitch.  
  
I had to admit though, she had strengthened my resolve on my chosen course of action. I tried to come up with a workable plan as I made my way back to camp and sat down in my chosen resting place.  
  
"Are you all right?"  
  
I was forced out of my thoughts as, of all people, Legolas sat down in front of me. I pushed my hair away from my face, wishing I'd taken the time to pull it back again, and forced a nod. "Right as rain."  
  
He arched that brow again and I nearly swooned once more. "There is something else. It has been following you as if it were your shadow."  
  
"Wha?" What the hell was he talking about?  
  
Legolas eyed me carefully as he continued. "Do you often cry yourself to sleep?"  
  
My jaw dropped. "You were watching me in Lothlorien." I accused. That was such an invasion.  
  
He nodded. "I did not mean to, but I saw it. Why? I know it was not for Gandalf."  
  
I turned my face up to the sky as I thought about how to answer. "It was nothing." I cast a quick look at him and he was waiting for me to continue, his face telling me he didn't believe me. "It's a long story. One I won't share. Not now."  
  
"If you do not, your despair shall tear you apart."  
  
"Look, I'm NOT in despair." I snapped at him. I calmed down at the look on his face. "I'm NOT. I'm better now. I've made a decision and that totally fixed everything."  
  
Legolas nodded, as if accepting that, but he didn't leave. "If that is true, then why do you still look as if you have lost your only friend?"  
  
"Because if I fail, I will." I murmured as I hung my head down. My hand flew to my mouth as I realized I'd said that aloud. I quickly turned my eyes to Legolas to see if he had caught that.  
  
His eyes were filled with concern.  
  
Damn elves and their hearing.  
  
Legolas looked as if he were going to press the matter but I shook my head. "Just, don't okay? I'm not going to share, so just give it up." He didn't look as if he'd budge, so I gave him a pleading look. "Please."  
  
The elf that I was completely head over heels for, finally nodded again and stood up. He gave me a morose look before leaving me alone.  
  
My resolve was utterly shaken again. Why? I may have decided to save Boromir.. But that would mean I'd have to succeed before I could relax.  
  
If I failed, not only would he die, but I'd probably die too.  
  
Leaving Mary and Sue free to roam.  
  
I threw myself onto my makeshift bed and buried my face in my arms as I forced myself to fall asleep while I fought tears again.  
  
I wasn't about to cry, knowing Legolas was no doubt watching me again. 


	11. Crossroads

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Feedback to the feed backers!  
  
Leisha: The 'Save Boromir' movement is down the hall Just turn left and there will be a big purple door. Walk in, and the guys will scan you into the database for future reference. Then there's an hour of tests and a talent competition. Or you can just sign up on the sheet of paper hanging on the bulletin board in the main hall. *giggles*  
  
GreyLadyBast: *smiles innocently*  
  
Curious?: Okay! I'll try!  
  
Kayli: *smiles that smile again* Here's the next chapter! lol  
  
Starbrat: Keen! I'm glad you like it! To be honest, I've kind of been expecting flames for this fic.. Lol. One of the main reasons I never delved into LOTR fics.. But it wouldn't go away till I did it.. lol  
  
Lady Eirtae: The "Lembas Commercial" was too cute.. I HAD to put it in. You'll find out what Lacey received.. Soon. Maybe.  
  
Opaque: O_O Geez… I hope you're okay, my god.. Cheerios are evil aren't they?  
  
Pellagolloien: Lacey could never tell Legolas anything, it's not in her nature. That's effort.. something she just doesn't do. lol  
  
Wingstar: You WILL find out what her gift was, it's just a matter of when..lol  
  
Psycho Goddess: I'LL TRY!!! WAIT AND SEE!!! KEEP READING!!! I'LL DO MY BEST!!! ^_^  
  
*smiles* Thank you all very much for feedback. I really DO appreciate it. I've never gotten so much feedback for one fic! (Not even during my busy 'season' as a Buffy/Xander fic writer on the B/X list…lol) Thanks again and I hope you keep on enjoying this fic.  
  
*uber hugs to all*  
  
------   
  
Chapter 10 - Crossroads  
  
Once upon a time there was a young woman who lived in the Midwest of the good ole USA. She had a small group of friends that she loved very much and a job she hated with a fiery passion.  
  
This same young woman also had an assortment of obsessions and quirks that people could say made her a touch.. Out of reality.  
  
She lived day to day wishing for something more and something that would prove that the world wasn't the hell she'd learned to believe it was.  
  
Of course, being the imaginative person she was, she used the many medias and forms of fiction as her escape. Books, fan fiction, movies, all of it. She even delved into the fan fiction genre with her own works in her bouts of insanity.  
  
The last thing she truly expected, albeit she often day dreamed about it in various forms, was to be trapped as a Convenient Plot Device/Mary Sue in a version of the Lord of the Rings movies.  
  
She also didn't expect to be forced to endure two typically perfect Mary Sues.. Who wanted her dead. Nor did she expect to grow attached to the fictional world of Middle Earth and two of it's occupants themselves.  
  
Or rather in very different way then she had been attached to them before.  
  
This is why I should be in a mental ward. I tend to do things like that a lot. Babble I mean. But today it was the only way to keep my sanity as we slowly reached shore.  
  
It was already that time.  
  
As soon as our boat was on the land, and before anyone else got out, I leapt out and stretched. I was going to have to work fast. I caught a glimpse of Boromir looking.. Well.. Awful, as everyone walked onto shore.  
  
As if he was trying to hold himself together.  
  
I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Startled, he 'jumped' at my touch. I gave him a worried look. "Are you feeling okay?"  
  
Boromir nodded. "Yes." I frowned at him, as I knew better, but he gave me a nervous smile to placate me. "I am well, Lacey. Do not worry."  
  
I gave him a rare but honest smile. "Hey, you're my friend, therefore I have a god given right to worry." I gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "I'm going to go avoid Amalthea and Nerissa now. If you need me, just start singing 'Rubber Ducky'."  
  
Boromir's eyes flashed with a touch of mirth as he had heard my singing before Lothlorien. Who am I kidding, everyone had heard me sing THAT.  
  
With another encouraging smile, I left him. I'd done enough damage.  
  
I took a look around camp, seeing Mary busy with Legolas and Sue with Aragorn, I walked away.  
  
I had work to do.  
  
------   
  
Okay, I had my work cut out for me. I really truly hated being the not so survival girl. I was trying to find where Boromir was to die and I kept going in circles.  
  
I let out a growl of frustration as I kicked a tree stump. "Damn it!"  
  
Snap.  
  
I spun around and there stood Mary. Her green eyes were filled with hatred and anger.  
  
"Oh look, it's Darth Mary." I rolled my eyes. "Come to kill me?"  
  
She pulled out her sword and smiled. "Of course."  
  
I shrugged. "Have to catch me first." I tore out of there as fast as I could and I'd barely gone ten feet before I started hearing the sounds of Uruk-Hai storming the woods.  
  
Oh god. I must have been wandering longer then I'd thought.  
  
"Not now.. Not yet.. AUGH!!" I let out a cry as I tumbled to the ground in surprise, my left shoulder in pain. I bit my lip and saw the arrow that had grazed it. Another arrow narrowly missed my head as I started to move, and imbedded itself into the ground. I looked up to see Mary and her damnable bow aimed at me.  
  
Oh fuck. I had forgotten she had that.  
  
The fighting grew louder as the Uruk-Hai surrounded the area.   
  
Mary ignored the sounds and put her bow away as she stalked over to me. She pulled her sword out once more. "I'm going to enjoy this."  
  
I stayed on the ground and grabbed a handful of dirt, hoping she wouldn't notice.  
  
She didn't, and when she was close enough to kill me, I threw it in her face. Mary shrieked as it went into her eyes. I tackled her to the ground, sending her sword flying, and slammed her head against the dirt as hard as I could.  
  
Mary's hands grabbed mine and with a snarl, she somehow threw me off her. I landed against the trunk of a tree and let out a grunt as a shooting pain shot through me. I scanned for my staff, but the only thing I saw was Mary with her sword in hand again. I pushed myself to my feet and stared at her defiantly.  
  
"Guess you aren't going to save Boromir now." She sneered. She strode forward and there was a thud as an arrow connected to her chest. She looked down at the offending object, a familiar green fletching as it's signature.  
  
Mary slid to the ground and I turned to see Legolas standing not far behind me, his bow in hand and Gimli not far from him.  
  
"Go!" Legolas ordered. "Do what you must."  
  
My eyes wide, I nodded and I flashed him a grateful smile before the two of them ran to join Aragorn.  
  
I grabbed Mary's sword as I ran in the opposite direction. I could hear the fighting all over, but I knew which way I had to go.  
  
As I ran, the sounds of the Horn of Gondor rang throughout the woods.  
  
I've never been too great of a runner, but by god, I was NOT going to screw up because of that. But I didn't have to worry anymore, because I could see Boromir. I came to halt as I spotted him fighting in a clearing, with Merry and Pippin throwing rocks nearby.  
  
I let out a curse as I realized I wasn't going to make it. I searched the clearing, trying to find that bastard Lurtz, and I spotted him alright.  
  
Not more then a few feet away from me and completely oblivious to my presence.  
  
----------   
  
And here we have a cross roads! You get to choose which version you want to read.  
  
The A path leads to a slightly longer story, along with some major possibilities for angst and a few creative liberties. Ok, possibly a lot.  
  
The B path will take you to the end of the Fellowship, with a bit more.. Light. It's also pretty much the original way I had planned this fic to go, at least until it grew a life of it's own.  
  
What will you do? Heck, read them both. I did this because I had an urge to see both versions in 'print'. 


	12. 11A An End For One

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
  
-------   
  
Chapter 11 A - An End For One  
  
  
  
  
This was too good to be true.  
  
How right I was, as Sue jumped in front of me, her sword raised for the kill. I scrambled out of the way and I narrowly avoided being skewered.  
  
I swore and Sue made a grab for me. She grabbed my arm and pulled me against a tree and I hit it with a resounding thud, causing me to lose my grip on Mary's sword. With a groan, I slid out of her grasp as she was distracted by a random Uruk-Hai.  
  
I turned around just in time to see the second arrow lodge itself in Boromir's chest.  
  
"NO!!!" I screamed in horror.  
  
Sue tackled me from behind and we started to wrestle on the ground. I kneed her and she grunted and smacked my skull into the dirt.  
  
I was seeing stars by now, so I grabbed her arm and pulled it close and I bit her. Sue cried out and pulled her arm back to punch me, but I slugged her first and knocked her off me.  
  
I stood up as she pulled out her dagger and lunged at me. I yelped as the dagger sliced into my side. She hadn't impaled me, but fuck, that had hurt. I rammed my elbow into her face, causing her to drop the knife. As she stumbled back, I dropped to the ground and picked it up. She must not have noticed, as she tried to go for my throat.   
  
Sue's eyes grew wide as saucers as her own dagger used her as it's new sheath. A morbid smile touched her lips. "At least.." She coughed and blood came out. "You.. didn't get what you want.."  
  
I let her body slump to the ground and I backed away, her blood soaking through my gloves.  
  
Oh god. I tore the offending objects off as I spun around and ran down the hill to the clearing where Aragorn knelt over Boromir's dying form.  
  
My hands flew to my mouth as I muffled my scream.  
  
It was for nothing. Everything..   
  
"The Ring is beyond our reach now." Aragorn told him as I crept closer.  
  
Boromir grasped the ranger's shoulder, "Forgive me. I did not see it. I have failed you all."  
  
My eyes began to fill with tears. Nononono..  
  
"No. Boromir." Aragorn said. "You fought bravely. You have kept your honor." Aragorn reached for one of the arrows in Boromir's chest and Boromir pushed his hand away.  
  
Honor? What good is honor when you're dead??  
  
"Leave it." He said, his voice desperate. "It is over. The world of men will fall. And all will come to darkness.. And my city to ruin."  
  
Aragorn clasped Boromir's arm. "I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fall.. nor our people fail."  
  
"Our people." Boromir repeated, his fading voice tinged with pride. "Our people."  
  
I merely stood there shaking like a leaf as Aragorn placed Boromir's sword in his hand. I barely noticed as Legolas finally appeared on the scene.   
  
"I would have followed you, my brother." Boromir told him. "My captain." His voice rose enough so you could hear the emotion behind it. "My king."  
  
He stopped moving.  
  
"NO!!!!!" I screamed, and my legs gave out from under me. I buried my face in my hands as I openly cried. "Nononono. Wasn't supposed to.. I tried.. I couldn't.. my fault.."  
  
I kept sobbing even as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I merely shoved it away with a growl. I found myself staring up at Legolas, his face trying hard to comprehend yet another death.   
  
I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around myself as I cried.  
  
I had failed royally and now my only friend was gone. 


	13. 11B 5th Period, Freshman Year

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
------   
  
Chapter 11 B - 5th Period, Freshman Year  
  
  
  
I ran over to him as he readied his long bow. I took a deep breath, as I was right next to him, and tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
Lurtz ignored me and continued to focus on Boromir.  
  
My eyes narrowed. "Fucking A.."   
  
I angrily shoved Mary's blade into Lurtz's back and he howled in in pain. I slid the sword back out and he dropped his bow. He turned his head toward me and snarled as I took his head, highlander style. Minus the quickening effect of course.  
  
The blood poured out and I let out a relieved moan before I allowed my actions to take a full effect on me.  
  
I'd just killed someone. Sure he was an evil Uruk-Hai.. But he was still a living being. I had just played God. He had a soul, right?  
  
I didn't have much more time to think as another one of the Uruk-Hai attacked me.  
  
I wasn't invisible anymore.  
  
Fuck.  
  
I swung wildly, and managed to get him to step back, but only long enough for another to come at me from behind. I let out a shriek as I dodged his blade, only to stumble over Lurtz's body and hit my head on something hard.  
  
Everything went black.   
  
------   
  
I wasn't out too long..  
  
I came to, just in time to hear the sounds of Sue bawling. I forced myself to get up and spotted Sue weeping over Boromir's body as she spoke with Aragorn.  
  
Oh god.. NO!! I sprinted over and slid to my knees as I landed next to Boromir.  
  
"It happened so quickly." Sue moaned to Aragorn. "I thought I would reach him in time, but alas, the hobbits were taken and Boromir fell."  
  
My brow furrowed as I found myself staring at Boromir's body, only vaguely listening to the whining bitch.  
  
Where was the blood? He had Uruk-Hai blood splattered everywhere, but I didn't see any human blood.  
  
I looked over at Sue who was trying to receive comfort from Aragorn as Legolas joined us. Legolas glanced at me in sadness and I swiftly turned away to follow an urge.  
  
I checked Boromir's throat, and low and behold, there were signs of a strangulation. Thank too much television for that knowledge. His body was still lightly warm, but definitely cooling.  
  
I prayed I remembered my CPR stint in high school health class and covered Boromir's mouth with my own. I tried the typical routine twice..  
  
Nothing.  
  
The others were staring at me now, but I didn't care. I tired again and as I lifted my face from Boromir's and pushed on his chest, he let out a strangled gasp.  
  
I let out a shout of joy as Boromir struggled to sit up. Not caring about anything else, I wrapped my arms around him in a fierce hug.  
  
"You.. Little.. BITCH!"  
  
I let go of Boromir in time to be grabbed and dragged away by sword point. I smirked at Sue, even as she held my life in her hands. "Not so perfect now are you?"  
  
Sue's green eyes were practically aflame as she shoved me into a tree. I winced and she forced her sword to my throat.  
  
"You ruined everything." She hissed at me.  
  
"As if I've never heard that before." I snorted. It didn't matter if she killed me or not now. Boromir was alive and the others could see her for what she really was. "Go ahead. Kill me."  
  
"Not yet." Sue said. "We have to wait until Nerissa gets here."  
  
My mouth curved into a dark grin. "Then you'll be waiting a long time."  
  
Her eyes narrowed as she realized what I meant. With a cry of pure rage she stepped back and then slammed me against the tree again. Pain shot through my skull as it hit the tree harder then ever. God that bitch could push. Sue pulled her sword arm back and readied herself to impale me.  
  
She didn't get the chance. Sue's eyes filled with shock and pain and she fell to the ground face first, Aragorn's dagger in her back.  
  
I stared at the four men and released a tired breath. "Bout fucking time." I started to slump to the ground, but was quickly grabbed by Legolas. I looked up at him as my head reeled. I must have had a concussion or something because I flashed him a silly grin.  
  
"You are sooo cute, you know that?" I received the arch again in reply and I giggled. "I love it when you do that."  
  
Legolas glanced at the others, looking for help, but all he received were looks of amusement from them.  
  
Boromir, who looked a bit shaky but stable, came over and took me from Legolas. I smiled up at him too.  
  
"Why do you guys have to be so tall?" I pouted. "You should shrink or something. Easy access that way." I proceeded to poke Boromir in the chest. "I saved you, you know."  
  
Boromir gave me a thankful smile. "That you did, and I will be indebted to you for that."  
  
I nodded. "Good. I take my rewards in cold hard cash or in the form of handsome elves named Legolas."  
  
Gimli let out a chuckle and my eyes rolled back into my skull as darkness claimed me again. 


	14. 12A Voices

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Welcome to Feedback, I'm your host, Sil. Let's get straight to it.  
  
Winterfox: I'm not sure how different this fic really, is, but I'm trying.. Hehe. I'm not even sure if this is a parody or just more proof I need to lay off the Pez..lol  
  
GreyLadyBast: Lol, my innocent look needs work.. And I'm still working on reading your stuff! (So far, I love everything I've read.. Hee..)  
  
Dusty Fedora: Her actions always affect things, whether it's just in her head or the world around her. That's still debatable. And WOO!! 50 cool points!! Only 5,897364973264 till I've caught up with all the points I've given you!! Still building that Shrine of Dusty by the way. It's also a karaoke place.. ;p  
  
Xand: Deary.. I know you say more in palace, but my dear boy, SAY MORE HERE! Boost my ego.. lol  
  
KoUsagi: Lacey is such a goofball.. She tries so hard not to be the fan girl she is and one blow to the head just brings it out of her.. lol. And I am writing more! See see?  
  
Opaque: I'll continue as long as I am able.. Exactly what that means, I have no idea.. And thanks to you, I have a craving for cheerios now.. lol  
  
Jafazmin: Thank you! I'll try!  
  
GirlMeowth: I'm glad I could cheer you up in some way!! You didn't miss it, as it plays a part in both versions in some small way.. So you'll see the gift soon.  
  
Pellagolloien: B Epilogue a coming up! No way I could just leave it like that. Lacey going back.. Well, let's just wait and see how that goes. The girl has a wandering mind and likes to beat me up when she changes it. (Damn she hits hard too.. *whimpers*)  
  
Carrie: I'm honored to be the first story you've reviewed!! Actual pairings are still very iffy in this fic.. As I'm very random with it.. Course it doesn't mean Lacey won't pretend or wish..lol  
  
Kayli: Sarcasm is just.. Fun. It's Lacey's best personality trait. *receives a wamp from Lacey to the back of the head* Ow..  
  
Taraeldaiel: Neither one is quite over yet, but B does have maybe only 1 chapter and an Epilogue left..  
  
Lil' odd me: I'll do my best to keep it up! Although I'm not too sure if my best is up to it. lol  
  
chicory tee: To join, just follow the door to the left.. If you make it through all the tests, you're in! Or just follow the girl with the blue hair in pigtails to your right.  
  
To the one who posted no name: To play, or not to play? I think I will. I just hope I don't damn my soul for eternity for it.. Lol  
  
Shadow975: Combining the two would ruin what I have uh.. 'planned' (well, loosely planned..lol) The Boromir living lighthearted approach is what it was meant to be.. Lighthearted. Him dying is to prove that not even a Mary Sue can change a person's fate at times. Sue being stabbed in the back by Aragorn.. Not so much.. (Technically he threw it at her) You have to read 12B to understand that part.. Plus it was also to keep her from killing Lacey, who hadn't done anything wrong, if anything, she had just SAVED someone. As for the Mary Sues, they never loved anyone. They were types who would have jumped ship as soon as a new fandom became popular. Still, the actions of a Mary Sue can't be undone, just as.. Well.. They will never REALLY die. Look at how many fics pop up with them. Lol. Lacey and her actions are one of the key angst points through this new arc, I like to torture her.. lol  
  
Wow, that was a lot. Lol. Once again, Uber hugs abound for everyone who's reading and/or reviewing! I appreciate all the comments and will continue to do so!  
  
~Your Resident Uber Goddess of All Uber Goddesses, Silence~  
  
  
*************   
  
Chapter 12A - Voices  
  
  
  
I felt like dying as the boat holding Boromir's body went over the falls.  
  
Alone again.. Not a hope.. Not a prayer.  
  
Just the sounds of my failure screaming at me.  
  
What good was I? I couldn't even save someone I KNEW was going to die.  
  
Mary and Sue were gone, their bodies had vanished. Their story ended I suppose. But what the hell was I still doing here?  
  
I had killed Sue, gotten Mary killed, and I still hadn't managed to save Boromir.  
  
Someone was enjoying themselves, and it sure as hell wasn't me.  
  
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, even as Legolas began pushing a boat into the water.  
  
"Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore." He turned to Aragorn, who was finishing putting Boromir's bracers on.  
  
Aragorn cast a sad look at Frodo and Sam across the water.  
  
Legolas's face changed in understanding. "You mean not to follow them."  
  
"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands."  
  
Gimli joined the three of them, "Then it has all been in vain. The Fellowship has failed."  
  
I stayed away.. I still didn't belong here. I was never GOING to. But I still couldn't escape.  
  
Aragorn placed his hands on the dwarf and elf's shoulders. "Not if we hold true to each other." He stared at them intently. "We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left."  
  
He moved away and prepared to leave. "Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let us hunt some orc."  
  
Gimli let out a mighty grunt of satisfaction before he and Legolas followed Aragorn into the woods.  
  
With one last look at the falls, I ran after them as best I could.  
  
----------   
  
The day was spent silently from my end. I was still dwelling on issues I'd thought I'd never had to deal with.  
  
I had killed someone. Self defense, but the end result was still the same. I pulled my gloves out of my pouch and stared at them as we walked. The blood was still there, not that I expected it to vanish like their bodies, but..  
  
God. She was human. I could barely stomach the idea of taking an Orc life, and yet I had stabbed Sue. Was I murderer? Or did this completely not count because I wasn't in the real world?  
  
But then it hit me.  
  
This IS the real world.  
  
Not mine, but it was still real. Everyone felt, they fought, they lived. It was definitely real. I must have let my thoughts wander too long, because I stumbled over a rock and let out a small cry of pain as I fell onto my hands and knees.  
  
The others stopped instantly and came over to me.  
  
"Fuck." I muttered. I'd called attention to myself, something I didn't want. I shoved the gloves back into my little bag of holding.  
  
"Is there a problem?" Aragorn asked, a mix of concern and haste.  
  
I nodded as I got to my feet. "Just some stupidity on my part. You'd think my brain was functioning on AOL.."  
  
Naturally they didn't get my reference, but we started moving again, although Legolas stayed nearby.  
  
"Are you sure there is--"  
  
"I SAID I was fine." I snapped and walked ahead him, ignoring the feel of his eyes on me.  
  
I was starting to hate elves.  
  
We traveled until well after dark, and not only was my body aching, my entire being was. Guilt bombarded me from all over and I was slowly driving myself insane with it.  
  
One crest after another.. A winding valley..  
  
We didn't stop until the deep of the valley, and only then because the orc trail had vanished. The sky was still filled with stars, but I'd spent enough time here now to know dawn wasn't too far along.  
  
I sat down with a weary sigh as Legolas and Aragorn discussed out next move. I took a drink of water from my flask. More walking was coming, and I may have been dead tired, but I was welcoming it.  
  
It kept my mind off.. Things.  
  
"Which way would they turn?" Legolas pondered. "North to Isengard, or Fangorn?"  
  
"They will not make for the river, whatever they decide." Aragorn said. "They will take the shortest route over the fields of Rohirrim. We go north."  
  
----------   
  
I so wasn't enjoying myself. No hobbit banter. No minor talking to Boromir. Not even the death glares of Mary and Sue. Goddess how I wished even one of them were still around.  
  
~Shouldn't have killed Sue then~  
  
I growled at the voice in my head.  
  
~Didn't do any good anyway.~  
  
They were trying to KILL me.  
  
~But look around, you're the one that lived. Why should you still be around when you can't even contribute anything?~  
  
Shut up.  
  
~You're just like Mary said. Useless. You should have let them kill you when you had the chance.~  
  
"I SAID SHUT UP!!!"  
  
The remains of the Fellowship froze and stared at me as if I'd gone mad.  
  
Ignoring them, I put my hands on my head as that damn voice bombarded me with accusations.  
  
~You're no better then the others. The only difference is that you can't do anything. You got lucky with Sue and Mary. Now what are you going to do? Just DIE already.~  
  
I clutched my head and let out a cry. "Leave. Me. ALONE!"  
  
Hands grasped my shoulders and I was forced to stare into the eyes of Aragorn.  
  
"Calm down." He said softly. "Whatever is wrong, you must fight it, or else we will be discovered."  
  
I bit my lip. "Easy for you to say. You aren't the one hearing voices in your head."  
  
Aragorn's face filled with worry. "What kind of voices do you speak of?"  
  
"Doesn't matter." I muttered and I tried to push him away, but his grip held. "Just let go of me."  
  
"Not until you tell me what is wrong."  
  
"Why do you care?" I snapped. "I'm NOT one of the Fellowship. I'm NOT a perfect Mary Sue. I DON'T belong here. You don't need me. You barely even SPOKE to me before now. Just let me go insane so I can throw myself over the nearest cliff in peace!"  
  
"You will not." Aragorn frowned at me. "Do you think I did not know all of this?"  
  
Okay, THAT confused me and the voice in my head vanished. "Huh?"  
  
"Legolas and I knew the three of you were not to be here." The future king explained. "But it matters not. You ARE here, and under MY watch." He stared at me sternly. "It will remain so until fate dictates otherwise." Aragorn's eyes narrowed. "You are not like the others, so if you care at all about Merry and Pippin, you will pull yourself together."  
  
He released me and began walking again, Gimli and Legolas following.  
  
I started after them. I DID care. Of course I did. I'm not heartless. I LIKED Pippin. He was huggable!  
  
Of course, now I was more lost then ever. They knew? But.. Why? How? And if they had known, why did they put up with us?  
  
Why are they REALLY putting up with me? 


	15. 12B Every Tale Has An Ending

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
------   
  
Chapter 12B - Every Tale Has An Ending   
  
  
  
My eyes opened and I was greeted by familiar face.  
  
Boromir grinned. "I hope you enjoyed yourself."  
  
"Blissfully." I muttered as I sat up. He handed me some water and I took a deep drink. "Thanks.."  
  
I found myself being stared at by Legolas, Boromir, Aragorn and Gimli. It was dark and they had apparently made camp.  
  
Uh oh. I hoped my saving Boromir and me playing Sleeping Not So Beauty didn't take them away from tracking Merry and Pippin.  
  
"We are on the little ones trail." Boromir said, as if reading my mind. "We thought it best to move quickly."  
  
"Yes and I'm so sure carrying me around was real helpful." I snorted and stood up with a stretch. My head was still throbbing slightly and my hand flew to it on reflex.  
  
"You will be all right." Aragorn said. "It was not as bad as it could have been."  
  
"Yeah.." I shrugged and slid my hand from my head to my hair, which was free, and I grimaced. "By the way.. Um. Thanks.. For you know.. Not letting Mary and Sue kill me and all."  
  
Gimli looked confused. "Who are 'Mary' and 'Sue'?"  
  
"She speaks of Amalthea and Nerissa." Legolas explained with a shake of his head. "Fouler women have never been seen beyond the eyes of Mordor."  
  
My mouth agape, I barely managed to contain my bewilderment. "Say what?"  
  
Aragorn spoke up, his voice strong, "Lord Elrond warned the two of us upon your arrival in Rivendell. We were told of how their evil would spread as fast as Sauron's ever could."  
  
"Wait a minute." I ran a hand through my hair, "You're saying you willingly took us with you, knowing that we could be this huge evil?"  
  
"It was the only way to be sure they did not spread to others." Aragorn said.  
  
"Why were we not told of this?" Boromir asked. He flashed me a questionable look.  
  
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." I murmured.  
  
"The less who knew, the easier it would be." Legolas said. "It seemed as if they were merely focused on Aragorn and I." The elf turned his lovely blue eyes at me. "We were unsure of your plans until I overheard a conversation you had with them."  
  
I folded my arms across my chest and tilted my head. "We had a lot of.. 'conversations'. Which one was it?"  
  
Legolas gave me an amused smile which made me blush. "I thoroughly enjoyed watching Nerissa fall into the stream."  
  
"Should have seen the look on her face when I cut her hair." I grinned. "Now THAT was enjoyable."  
  
"What we could not understand.." Aragorn leaned forward, his eyes dark and serious. "Is what you were doing with them if you were not their ally."  
  
I shrugged. "Some sick and cosmic joke of the Powers That Be." I started pacing. "I mean, it's not like I ASKED to be here."  
  
"Why were they trying to kill you?" Boromir asked me.  
  
"Because I was trying to stop them from interfering!" I said, a bit too loudly. I winced and lowered my voice. "Look, they wanted to seduce Legolas and Aragorn, kill you before you're time, take everyone's jobs and make them their own and generally be so perfect you wanted to just snap their necks and then hack them up to pieces until there was nothing left but a pulpy disgusting pile of mush!"  
  
They stared at me, their eyes wide.  
  
I stopped my pacing and rocked on my heels. "Sorry. I can be very vocally volatile." Legolas gave me the eyebrow yet again, causing me to look defensive. "It's not like I'd actually do it!! Other than Lurtz, I've never killed anything bigger then a mouse and that was soo an accident. How the hell was I supposed to know it was behind me? I didn't mean to step on it!!"  
  
More stares.  
  
I shut up and looked down, thinking about how I was acting like an idiot.  
  
Then I remembered what I had said before I passed out and I groaned.  
  
Boromir stood up and stared at me, "Are you all right?"  
  
I looked up and shrugged. "I'm dandy. Don't worry."  
  
Boromir's mouth smirked a tad. "I believe, as you said, 'you are my friend, therefore I have a god given right to worry'."  
  
I laughed at that and poked him in the chest. "You aren't allowed to steal MY lines."  
  
"Just like I should shrink?" He looked extremely amused at my benefit.  
  
"Exactly." I pouted. "And when do I get paid?"  
  
Legolas's eyes widened at that and I stuck my tongue out at him, resulting in a laugh from Gimli and a shake of Aragorn's head.  
  
I felt better now.  
  
I leaned against a tree and pulled a piece of fruit from my pouch. As I began nibbling at it, the others discussed our plans.  
  
I allowed myself to wander mentally. I had become a full fledged Mary Sue. I knew it. For saving Boromir.. But exactly did that mean for the story?  
  
What damage could my actions have caused?  
  
I frowned at that.  
  
Haldir!  
  
I giggled silently. I had finally remembered that elf's name.  
  
Don't you hate it when something completely off topic pops into your head days after you wanted the knowledge?  
  
Suddenly I felt a pain in my chest. I let out a cry, as the others jumped to their feet and surrounded me.  
  
"Lacey?" Boromir grabbed me and kept me from falling to the ground. "What is wrong?"  
  
I merely shook my head as the pain in my chest spread. My breathing grew rapid and the world was spinning.  
  
But a realization came over me. One that made the pain fade and a bit of fear seep in.  
  
I was going back to the real world. I didn't know how I knew, but I did.  
  
I pulled Boromir close into a tight embrace. "Thank you very much for being my friend."  
  
As I stepped away, his eyes were as confused as ever. I smiled, trying my best to make it seem I was okay.  
  
I wasn't sure it was.. I'd done serious damage. To them, to me.. But then..  
  
My smile grew impish and I turned to Legolas, who was nearby. I must have shocked him, which has got to be the coolest thing ever, when I grabbed him and pulled him close.  
  
I kissed him hard on the lips and poured every bit of feeling I could into it. I let him go and I burst into a fit of giggles at the completely non Legolas look on his face.  
  
"Oh yeah.. That was soooooooo worth it." I said, even as my head started pounding. My giddiness was brought to a swift end as I began to slide to the ground, my entire body in agony.  
  
I was vaguely aware of Legolas catching me again, he was closest after all. I stared up at him and I smiled.  
  
"Really wish there guys like you in the real world.."  
  
His eyes widened as everything was swallowed up in darkness. 


	16. 13A All the Pretty Horses

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
These notes are UBER long, so bear with me!  
  
First of all, sorry for not updating sooner, uber cold been totally driving me bonkers. (I'm so sick.. I can't see TTT this week!! *cries*) Anyway.. In my quest of never ending silliness I have done the following with some friends..   
  
Got a LiveJournal? Well go on and get one!   
  
http://www.livejournal.com  
  
Why? Well guess who has one? Well everyone's Bitter Sue can now be seen there.  
  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/  
  
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.  
  
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold  
  
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc. (Possible, meaning I probably won't use it. lol)  
  
Anyway, just read the user info if you're curious for more.  
  
On to the feedback!!  
  
GreyLadyBast: Lol, lack of shame is never a bad thing. *cackles and skips away to work on her innocent look again*  
  
Weirdbard: ROFLMAO BRO!! France eh? I dunno.. It's been done. Although.. The fun things I could say are customary for French while teaching him things.. *coughs* Hee.. *eg*  
  
Curious: B is over! A is not!  
  
Lil' Odd Me: As of the Epilogue, B is now done.  
  
Kayli: Lacey's sarcasm isn't going anywhere. It'll still be in A, believe me.. *shudders* I don't want Tolkien anywhere near me.. Err Lacey. He'd kill us!! lol  
  
Eirate: As if they wouldn't. Mary and Sue are evil evil wenches. Of course she got to kiss Legolas. She IS a Mary Sue after all. Lol. And the gift.. Read the Epilogue and it also plays a part in Thornhold. (The RPG/Robin Comm above)  
  
Opaque: Technically 12B isn't the end. Lol, but I think I probably should have made it so.. Lol  
  
Xandzabar: Hee. *gives uber hugs* I'm not the bestest!! But I like to pretend, as you know so well, *bap* AND IT'S NEVER OVER!!!!! NEVER!!! *cackles*  
  
Starbrat: Don't worry. I'm sure there will be plenty for you to flame as I keep going. Lol  
  
Leisha: I hope you didn't get lost. ^_^ The 2 different endings are mostly to keep ME happy.. Rofl. My personalities decided that would be best.. Boromir as a reward? *giggles* He IS yummy.. As for guys back home? *smile* Is the world ever that nice?  
  
Chicory Tee: Carry on? Well, that's what Thornhold is.. Lol..  
  
KoUsagi: You aren't the only one who needs a boyfriend.. Rofl. Ahh to seduce the poor elf in fics is wrong wrong wrong! Of course people like us will still do it. BECAUSE WE ARE EVIL!! In a good way. ^_^ Embrace the evil.. It is good.  
  
Pellagolloien: Will Lacey go home in A? In the Thornhold verse she did.. But in A itself, we'll just have to see.  
  
Talagand A.K.A The Nameless One: Why thank you. And of course I would respond. I won't ignore anyone if I can help it!  
  
Shadow975: You'll find out why they put up with her. When? Just have to see.. Always remember, everyone has a purpose in life.. Big or small..  
  
BookCrazy77: I think it's evil. Lol  
  
Arcade: Yup. I'M evil that way. Lol  
  
My lord that was a lot! *gives everyone great big uber hugs* Thank you again!!! I hope you continue to read/enjoy what I dish out. It's always wonderful to know that someone besides me is enjoying themselves!!   
  
Hope to see some of you reading Thornhold when it gets started!  
  
ON TO THE UPDATE!!!  
  
------   
  
Chapter 13A - All the Pretty Horses  
  
  
  
  
I wish I was in an Andromeda fic. I could be on a nice ship with technology, cool clothes, fun weapons, and best of all..  
  
Plumbing.  
  
I hadn't complained about that until now, mostly because I had been camping when I was kid, so it wasn't so bad.  
  
But when you're the only female with three macho warriors on the trail of Uruk-Hai and barely stopping, you tend to get cranky.  
  
Three days. THREE FUCKING DAYS. Tracking. Running. Nibbling on Lembas. A couple hours of sleep here and there.  
  
I'm not cut out for this shit. I wanted to scream which direction to go, but I held my tongue. No more interaction. No more anything for me. No way. I'm going to hide out with the refugees of Rohan. Then I couldn't ruin the story, and I wouldn't have to deal with the looks I KNOW Legolas has been giving me.  
  
Did I mention that?  
  
Apparently the elf is worried about me. You'd think I'd be happy about that, but I'm not. Complete 180 from my fan girl urges.  
  
I've heard Aragorn and Legolas talking when I'm supposed to be asleep. It's usually in Elvish, but I know it's sometimes about me.  
  
I'm causing more problems then I'm worth.  
  
~So just die already. You have Mary's sword. It's in your bag with your staff. Use it.~  
  
I ignored the voice. I'd been doing that a lot. I hated that voice. I hated me.  
  
I really hated all this god damn walking.  
  
There was silence in the fields around us, and I realized where we were.  
  
"Here we go," I muttered under my breath.  
  
"Riders!" called Aragorn, springing to his feet. "Legolas."  
  
"One hundred and five." Legolas replied. "Rohan, armed with spears." He nodded in the riders' general direction. "Their leader is tall."  
  
"Keen are the eyes of elves." Aragorn said.  
  
Legolas shook his head. "They are no more then five leagues away."  
  
Gimli grunted. "It does not matter. We can not escape them in this bare land. Shall we wait or go on our way?"  
  
"We wait." Aragorn said.  
  
They started talking again and I fell onto the grass with a sigh of relief. I lay on my back and stared at the blue sky. Out of restlessness and boredom I began quoting lyrics to a song. I was NOT singing.  
  
"Always before, the spring returned.   
The bright world it's cycle spun.  
In air and flowers, grass and fern,  
Assured and cradled by the sun  
  
Always before, you could explain  
The turning darkness of the earth,  
And how that dark embraced the rain,  
And gave the ferns and flowers birth.  
  
Already I forget those things,  
And how a vein of gold survives  
The mining of a thousand springs,  
The seasons of a thousand lives.  
  
Now winter is my memory,  
Now autumn, now the summer light--   
So spring from now on will be  
Another season into night."  
  
I felt the ground rumble as the riders grew closer. I got to my feet just as they came into view.  
  
Yay.  
  
Soon enough we were surrounded by the tall blonde men on horseback. They pointed their spears down at us and I struggled to behave.  
  
Eomer rode forward. "What business does an elf, a man, and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?"  
  
Oh I see, completely ignore ME again. Then again, maybe he didn't know what I was. I mean, I did have the hood of my purple cloak covering me. Oh shut up, it kept the sun from burning into my skull, lets see you go for three days in it with black hair that loooooves to soak up the heat. God I wanted some Tylenol.  
  
"Speak quickly." Eomer said.  
  
I remained calm. I did not giggle. I wanted to say "Hi Cupid!" or "It's Caesar! Run!!" But I didn't.  
  
Blame myself for my Hercules knowledge. Blame my sister for the Xena stuff.  
  
"Give me your name, horse master." Gimli said. "And I shall give you mine."  
  
Eomer glowered at him and hopped off his steed. With a strong step, he walked over to us. He was really PMSing. "I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."  
  
In a blink of an eye, Legolas had an arrow fitted in his bow and aimed at Eomer. "You would die before your stroke fell."  
  
Ok, I couldn't hold it any longer. My crankiness had taken more then enough.  
  
"Will you lower the testosterone levels already for god's sake?" I snapped at them, one hand on my hip and the other pushing my hood down. "If you're going to kill each other at least let me find an audience to sell tickets to."  
  
Eomer turned his glare on me. "A woman as well?"  
  
"No, I'm a fucking tree." I rolled my eyes. "Aren't you wonderfully brilliant. Should I give you a gold star now or wait until your head explodes from your next blatantly obvious observation?"  
  
Before Eomer could spit out a reply, or just spit at me, Aragorn forced Legolas to lower his bow.   
  
"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn." The ranger introduced. "This is Gimli, son of Gloin, he is Legolas of the Woodland Realm, and she is Lacey."  
  
I frowned. Just Lacey. Ugh.. I needed a title. Lacey the Bitter Mary Sue. Lacey, Lady of Laziness. Oh fuck it. Just Lacey is fine.  
  
I glared at Eomer, cause he was such a rude ass, and folded my arms across my chest.  
  
Aragorn continued. "We are friends of Rohan and of Theoden, your king."  
  
Eomor's face was still bitter, but his tone lessened. "Theoden no longer recognizes friend nor foe." He removed his helmet. "Not even his own kin."  
  
At that, the riders pulled their weapons away and I rolled my eyes. Damn macho bastards.  
  
"What business do you have here?" Eomer asked us, or rather Aragorn.  
  
"We have come in search of Orcs that have carried off our friends." Aragorn replied. "What news can you tell us?"  
  
"That you need not pursue them further." Eomer said. "The Orcs are dead."  
  
"And our friends?"  
  
"We found none but Orcs."  
  
I sighed and tuned them out. They were going to go on about the hobbits and such. Frankly I just wanted to go to sleep, so I allowed my mind to drift.  
  
Bad move.  
  
~Sleep would be nice. An eternal sleep would be better.~  
  
I'm not listening to you.  
  
~Oh really? Then why are you replying?~  
  
It's better then listening to a conversation I can't contribute to.  
  
~Exactly. So there's plenty of warriors. Do something to scare them. They'll kill you and you'll be free.~  
  
You'd like that wouldn't you.  
  
~YOU'RE the one who would like it. No more mind games from the Powers That Be. No more CPD. No more MS. No more wanting things you can't have.. No more guilt for the blood on your hands.~  
  
The voice echoed in my head, suggesting the many ways I could go.. And a part of me wanted to obey.   
  
Oh so badly did it want to.  
  
~Do it. Give in. Listen to yourself.~  
  
"GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!"  
  
I found myself staring at Aragorn, Eomer, Legolas, and Gimli. The other riders had left them alone to talk already. I must have been completely out of it.  
  
"Lacey?" Aragorn stared at me.  
  
"Is she all right?" Eomer asked in a low voice.  
  
"I'm fine." I said in a forced tone. "Just.. The walking. Tiring. I'll be fine." I forced a smile. "See? Feeling better already."  
  
Aragorn nodded, but gave me one of those 'we'll discuss this later' looks, before resuming his conversation with Eomer.  
  
I closed my eyes. "I'mokayI'mokayI'mokay. I'mnotcrazyI'mnotcrazy."  
  
"Are you sure you're all right?" Legolas asked quietly.  
  
I jumped, I hadn't heard him come over. Damn Elvish skills. I stared at him, about to lie, but his eyes narrowed. He wanted the truth. I should lie anyway, just to spite him, but I didn't. "I don't know."  
  
"What is wrong?"  
  
I shrugged. "Dunno. Doesn't matter." I looked up at him. "I'm very confused right now, so if you don't mind, I'd like it if all of you could stop pretending to care. It doesn't help any and it makes me feel worse."  
  
The elf frowned. "We are not pretending."  
  
"Then that's the worst thing ever." I whispered and walked away from him and towards the others.  
  
Eomer had loaned us horses. Thank you god.  
  
Yes, that's right, I CAN ride a horse. It's been about a year since I last rode, but I used to love it.  
  
My neighbors growing up had horses, and were nice enough to teach me. I spent more time with them then I did my friends from school.  
  
Bet you think I'm a great rider. Guess what? I'm not. I'm average at best. But at least I don't have to be all school girlish about it.  
  
I ran my hand down the horse's mane I was to ride. He was a dark chestnut brown and strong looking. I couldn't help but smile at him.  
  
"His name is Maeglin." Eomer told me with a curt nod. "You do know how to ride."  
  
I held my head up high as I pulled myself onto the saddle. "I can ride as well as you can form sentences." I gave Maeglin a soft pat.  
  
After a farewell to Eomer and the Riders of Rohan, we were off in search of our hobbits.  
  
  
***************   
  
The song Lacey quotes is not mine. It's the Kender Mourning Song from Dragonlance. Which is owned by TSR etc. It's not mine. Kay? 


	17. 13B Epilogue

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
------   
  
Chapter 13B - Epilogue  
  
  
  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
"Xander, look out!"  
  
I could hear sounds of fighting as I let out a weak moan and opened my eyes.  
  
I found myself staring at my television, the timer on my vcr had gone off and Buffy was now playing on the screen.  
  
With a frown, I sat up and my hair, bound in those curlers, fell onto my face.  
  
Oh hell. It WOULD be a dream wouldn't it.  
  
Maybe it was better that way. I mean.. that means I didn't do any damage. I didn't cause any problems. I wasn't attached to Middle Earth at all.  
  
I sighed. "Yeah right." I swung my legs off my couch and leaned down to pick up my book, which had fallen to the floor. I touched the book and then pulled my hand back as if it had bitten me.  
  
It wasn't the book that had me wigged.  
  
On my right hand, I still wore my gift from Galadriel.  
  
A silver ring, forged to look as if a small phoenix were coiled around the finger. It's eyes were two small rubies that glowed briefly before going dark.  
  
I pursed my lips together in thought.  
  
It WAS real.  
  
Ring!!  
  
I nearly screamed in surprise. Oh blessed be technology. I reached over and picked up the phone. "What?"  
  
"Sweetie, what are you up to?" A male voice cooed.  
  
I reached for the book again, "Eric, hey. Just waking up."  
  
Eric made a dramatic gasp. "You mean you missed most of Buffy? Did the world freeze over?"  
  
"Actually I was taking advantage of Legolas." I said dryly. My best friend chuckled. "Besides, it's a rerun. I just forgot to tape it first time around."  
  
"Good. Then you should come over."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause, honey, you need to go out and have some fun. Ricky said you looked like you were run over by a truck yesterday."  
  
"I've had plenty of fun." I said indigently. Yeah. Right. I've watched orc battles, seen a Balrog, messed with Tolkien's story, AND kiss Legolas.  
  
I smiled. Okay, the kiss was fun. I had never done anything like that in my life. Definitely worth it.  
  
Eric interrupted me. "Lacey, are you listening?"  
  
"Do I ever?"  
  
"Cute."  
  
"Not in this life."  
  
"Look, you need to get out. I want to party."  
  
"Take Kyle. He IS your boyfriend."  
  
"He has to work. So I'm stuck with you."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Gee, show me the love."  
  
"Sorry, don't swing that way."  
  
I held back my snicker. "Look, I think I'm just going to stay in and read." I glanced at Fellowship of the Ring. My chest hurt again. I was already missing the place.  
  
Stupid Middle Earth.  
  
"Listen, Eric I have to go, I'm starving and I hear Chinese food in my future."  
  
Eric laughed. "Fine fine. But if I decide to stop by to surprise you, I better not catch you watching that DVD again."  
  
"Then don't stop by." I grinned and pushed the off button on the phone.  
  
I stared at my ring and began to wonder..  
  
What kind of change would Boromir cause in that world? Or would everything revert to the way it was without us Sues there?  
  
What would have happened if I'd gotten to stay?  
  
With a shake of my head I sat back in thought. It didn't really matter. Like every story, it had to come to an end, and that had been mine.  
  
So I have one thought left, and this goes out to everyone who ever finds themselves as a Mary Sue.  
  
Don't be perfect.  
  
You never know when someone like me will pop up and ruin all your fun.  
  
I chuckled as I grabbed my penguin pillow and watched tv. I wasn't a play thing anymore. I was me.  
  
And that wasn't such a bad thing.  
  
I don't care if Tolkien turns over in his grave or not. At least in one universe, Boromir lives and that's a good thing in my book.  
  
That's my little tale. That's the end.  
  
Have fun.  
  
Don't slam the door on your way out.  
  
Build your websites dedicated to hating me.  
  
I was a Mary Sue.  
  
And guess what?  
  
I'd happily be one again after that experience. So if anyone is listening.. I'm available!  
  
My smile faded. There was a loud crash from my kitchen. I jumped to my feet, sending Miss Edith (the penguin pillow) to the floor. I headed for the front door and grabbed my umbrella that hung from the hook on it.  
  
Moving as slow as I could, I reached the kitchen, hoping that there was nothing there..  
  
The door swung open and I dropped my umbrella in complete horror.  
  
Boromir stood there looking completely dazed and confused. His eyes filled with recognition at the sight of me. "Lacey?"  
  
Laughter erupted from me as I grabbed him in a fierce hug.  
  
Guess my story isn't over completely after all.  
  
But this arc.. Is.  
  
Maybe I'll tell you about this one some other time.  
  
But that's for another boring rerun filled Tuesday night. 


	18. 14A What Time Is It?

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Finally updated. Holidays were busy, *insert typical excuses* Sorry! Finally saw TTT though, so that should help me write! Be warned, I like to use quotes from the book though now.. As I can't remember every line in the movie… hehe.  
  
Promoting the LJs, as always:  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/  
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.  
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold  
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc. (Possible, meaning I probably won't use it. lol)   
Anyway, just read the user info in the link above if you're curious for more.  
  
So yes, let us get to it, shall we?  
  
Shadow975: The Boromir in Lacey's world arc.. Maybe. Been toying with it, even though I'm not sure if I'll finish it.. Have to see. Hehe..  
  
Pellagolloien: Hee, thankees! Oh, I'm going to try to use the movie as best as my memory allows, but I'll probably use book touches here and there to help me.. (Unlike the FotR arc, where I had DVD & Subtitles.. lol) Oh, I sent an email about the journal thing, in case you didn't see it, I thought I'd mention that here.  
  
Starbrat: Thanks, but alas, it'll probably be even more out of canon as it goes.. Going to do my best to try and make it work as much as possible without being too.. Wrong.  
  
GreyLadyBast: For B arc, there might be another, still not positive on that.. And I love the Kender Mourning Song.. Heck I love all the songs in Dragonlance.. I'm a junkie.. Lol Oooh, sleep deprived? I hear that.. I'm almost always sleep deprived.. Sadly that's how I write.. Lol  
  
Lil' odd me: I'll try to update a bit more often, at least as much as I'm able to.. Hehe.  
  
Winterfox: Ooh, thanks for pointing out the errors, lol, I don't use a beta reader, and while I reread the parts at least 4 times before posting, my eyes can still completely over look things. *shakes head* Heck, I forget whole words, thinking I've written them when I didn't. I'm nutty that way. Lol. Anyway, muchly appreciated!  
  
Kayli: Lacey is a strange one.. She's got more issues then National Geographic.. As for what Boromir thinks in her world.. Well.. Who knows? But I bet it's fun to have a Sean Bean look alike in your home.. lol  
  
Psycho Goddess: Lacey and Boromir? That's a scary thought.. "Boromir, get your ass in gear, I didn't get you that job at Pizza Hut for no reason!" ".." *giggles* I prefer Boromir alive myself.. And when I saw Faramir in TTT, I was like.. "Hottie! But, you aren't as hot as Boromir!" Of course then I resumed the standard fan girl drooling over Legolas. Even while he was off screen.. *coughs & smiles*  
  
Talagand AKA the Nameless One: Lol, thanks, and Lacey needs more then a drink.. I'm thinking an entire bar. lol  
  
Taraeldaiel: I'm glad you liked it!! I had fun writing it. ^_^  
  
Manx: Lol, I'm no legend, and I'm not really sure about a plot.. Lol, but I am having fun. Or at least trying to! ^_^  
  
Israfel: Talent? Me? Well, thank you! We dealers need talent.. So we buy it cheap on E-Bay.. Lol.  
  
KoUsagi: Lol, I'm merely one of 3 Uber Goddesses. (And there is only three, no matter what any one claims! Lol) ^_^  
  
Chicorytee: It's not the end for A, that's for sure. I still have to meddle with ME while I can, before Gandalf curses me with a thousand Oompa Loompas breeding like rabbits in my house.. *insane*  
  
Lol, anyway that's all for today, and now on to the fic and the reason why I shouldn't write while on flu meds! Uber hugs and thank you all very much for the feedback!  
  
------   
  
Chapter 14A - What Time Is It?  
  
  
  
We rode on to the spot where the Riders had torched the corpses of our Hobbit-nappers.  
  
The men were filled with despair.  
  
Me? I just slid off my horse with a tired sigh. I'll say this much, I've never been is this good of shape in my life. If I can survive this, I can survive anything. Right?  
  
~Survive? Is that what you want?~  
  
Oh look, the voice is back. Hi.  
  
It ignored me and continued with it's nagging quest.  
  
~Why is it you still stand? There is no role for you to play here.~  
  
I watched as Aragorn tracked Pippin's trail. Gimli followed, and I noticed Legolas casting me a shadowed look before joining them.  
  
~They don't trust you. They don't want you here.~  
  
I don't want me here either, I thought as I numbly wandered over to them.  
  
~Then stop stalling.~  
  
"Oh just fuck off." I muttered. I wasn't in the mood for this.  
  
Aragorn stopped.  
  
Oops.  
  
He turned to me, "Do have something you wish to say?"  
  
I sighed. I was tired of all this. The novelty was gone. I shrugged and pointed to the forest. "They went in Fangorn Forest."  
  
"And how do you know that, girl?" Gimli asked.  
  
I waved a hand around the green that surrounded us. "Look around, do you see any other way they could have gone to hide?"  
  
Aragorn stared at me, not believing my reason, but he let it slide. "She is correct. They went into the forest."  
  
With an air of wariness, we trekked into the woods. The voice was silent, but the trees, not so. As we searched the forest, I was struck with a wave of dizziness.  
  
I stopped at the tree closest to me and grabbed it as the dizziness grew. No one noticed, as they were so focused on the hobbits.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and forced whatever it was to go away. It did. Only when I opened my eyes, I found we were not alone, and we weren't even in the forest anymore.  
  
Gandalf was with us and we were with our horses.  
  
"What the.." I whispered. What the hell had happened? How did I jump from then to now? I let out a whimper as I stepped away from them all.  
  
Legolas was closest and heard me move first. "What is it?"  
  
~What will you tell him? That you're going insane? That you're on the way to white coat city?~  
  
My mouth opened and I let out a cry as I grabbed Gandalf by his robes. I stared at him and he calmly looked at me.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" I asked desperately. "Why can't I go home? Why won't the voice leave me alone? Why are you letting me stay with you, when you KNOW I don't belong??!!" I let him go and fell to my knees. "Why couldn't I save Boromir?"  
  
Gandalf's eyes were filled with pity, "Child, not even I can answer those questions as of yet. But know this, you have only played part of your role."  
  
"Part?" I whimpered again.  
  
~He's only trying to make you feel better. So you'll be less of a burden. You know what you need to do.~  
  
I shook my head. "I'm not listening to you. I'mnotI'mnotI'mnot."  
  
I could feel Gimli's eyes on me. "What's wrong with her?"  
  
"Her guilt is devouring her." Aragorn said.  
  
"Perhaps.." Legolas began. That caught my attention, and the voice's as well. I looked up and found his blue eyes on me. He spoke softly and in Elvish, which caused Aragorn to give me a sharp look.  
  
Standing back up, I bit my lip. "Fine. You know what? Forget it. Little Lacey stays clueless like always. Story of my life. Just ignore me and let me go insane while we go to Edoras." I forced myself back onto Maeglin's saddle and ignored the looks I received. "Can we go? NOW?"  
  
----------   
  
I had another time loop.  
  
It was while we were riding. One minute we were in the valleys, the next I found myself in Edoras.  
  
I was getting scared. What was happening?  
  
~Your mind can't deal with what you did. You killed a girl. You killed her and enjoyed it and now you can't handle it.~  
  
Not true. I didn't enjoy it! I didn't want to, I didn't mean to..  
  
~You wanted to. How many times did you wish to hurt them? You waited and you took your chance. Admit it! You're nothing more then a--   
  
A hand was on my wrist, causing the voice to shut up. "Lacey." Legolas was looking up at me.   
  
Apparently everyone had dismounted and he was looking concerned.  
  
Stop it, I wanted to scream at him. Stop looking at me like that. But I didn't. Instead, I let him help me down and I gave him a nod of thanks. I tried to sidestep by him, but his hand remained clamped on my wrist.  
  
Those eyes of his had me trapped, even more then his hand did. "You wished to know why we allow you to stay with us."  
  
I nodded mutely.  
  
"A simple reason really." Legolas's lips turned into a devilish smirk. "Although your tongue is as sharp as my blades, I doubt it would do much good against an Orc."  
  
My eyes were wide and then I cracked a smile.  
  
"That, Lacey, is something that should be seen more often." He said before leaving me standing there, completely dumbfounded.  
  
"Are you going to swallow the flies that enter your mouth, or are you going to join us?" Gimli teased as he walked by.  
  
My mind wandered as I tagged along. Okay, am I missing something now? Because what the hell was going on? Seriously, I'm supposed to be ignored and unwanted, not teased and well.. spoken to.  
  
We were met at the doors by several guards, causing me to pay attention.  
  
"I must bid you lay aside your weapons before you enter."  
  
I watched as everyone handed over their weapons. A soldier entered my personal space and eyed me expectantly.  
  
I shrugged and opened my cloak. I did a little turn and rolled my eyes. "Not armed, iron head."  
  
His eyes strayed to my pouch. "What's in there?"  
  
I opened it up and let him see the empty bag that it appeared to be. "See? Nothing. Now get out of my personal space. You're stealing my air."  
  
He walked away stiffly and I grinned. My attention was soon caught by Gandalf trying to keep his staff though.  
  
"Foolishness!" said Gandalf. "Prudence is one thing, but discourtesy is another. I am old. If I may not lean on my stick as I go, then I will sit out here, until it pleases Theoden to hobble out himself to speak to me."  
  
I swear I saw a vein throbbing in the guard's forehead and I stifled my laugh. But then it hit me.  
  
Gandalf didn't say that in the movie. That was a book line. In fact a lot of the things since the end of the Fellowship seemed to be off.  
  
What the fuck was going on? Maybe it was a mesh verse.  
  
Or maybe I WAS insane.  
  
I waited for the voice in my head to agree, but surprisingly it was silent. I decided to enjoy it while I could and we entered the throne room of Theoden.  
  
As we entered the chambers, I caught sight of the creepy looking lurker guards following our footsteps.  
  
I wondered if I was still invisible in fights..  
  
"The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden, King." said Gandalf.  
  
Grima Wormtongue, the nasty looking fellow who looked in need of a bath, leaned over to the king and whispered.  
  
I couldn't help but flinch. I mean sure, I'm no prize, and I was in need of some soap and water myself, but good god, Theoden looked dead, Grima looked like he'd rolled around in a grease puddle, and did I mention I wanted to start screaming about Chucky?  
  
So yeah, I watched the Child's Play movies. Horror Queen, that's me. You slice them, I'll watch them.   
  
"Why.. Should I welcome you.." Theoden's voice rasped slowly, "Gandalf.. Stormcrow?"  
  
Grima coddled him. "A just question, my liege." The sleaze ball rose from his spot, "Late is the hour, in which this conjurer chooses to appear." He met face to face with Gandalf. "Lathspell I name you, Ill-News; and ill news is an ill guest I say."  
  
"Be silent and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth." Gandalf snapped. I wanted to see him bitch slap him, but of course he didn't. "I have not passed though fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm."  
  
I felt the familiar dizziness come back again. I willed it away, but by the time it had, I found myself staring at the back of one the lurker guards.  
  
Slightly better then last time, maybe only a minute had passed, as Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli were knocking the guards around as Gandalf tried to free Theoden from Saruman's grasp.  
  
I was ignored again. The guard was right in front of me and he didn't see me!  
  
~Who would want to?~  
  
"Oh shut the fuck up." I muttered as I spun the guard around. Before he blinked, I kneed him in the groin and smirked as he fell to the floor with a groan. "Fuckwit."  
  
I kicked him in the stomach while he was down for good measure, and for sheer sadistic amusement.  
  
~Enjoying yourself?~  
  
Yes. Go away now.  
  
~Just like you enjoyed watching Mary die at the hands of the elf she loved?~  
  
She didn't love him. She just wanted to fuck and run.  
  
~Are you so sure? Did you ask her?~  
  
It was pretty obvious, I thought. But doubt started nagging at me..  
  
~Did you enjoy it when the life faded from Sue's eyes even as the blood soaked your gloves?~  
  
NO! Stop saying I did! I didn't! SHUT UP!  
  
~They were better then you. Prettier. Smarter. More talented. You hated them both and you wanted them dead. Say it! Then finish it!~  
  
"No!"  
  
"M'lady?"  
  
Time had passed again. I was in a bedroom and a servant girl was watching me. "You wished to clean up did you not?"  
  
I nodded slowly, as I tried to get my thoughts together. I sent her away as soon as I could, telling her I'd send for her when I wanted to join the others.  
  
After I finished cleaning myself up, and making myself a bit more presentable I stood at the door. Who was I kidding, I wasn't needed anyway. I leaned against the door as a chill swept through me.  
  
Then I released a moan as I slid down the back of the door, and buried my head in my hands.  
  
I was losing it. Completely.   
  
Time was getting jumbled, that damn voice, my guilt, my loneliness..  
  
~Why not give in? Maybe if you did.. You'd be sent home.~  
  
My confusion froze.  
  
Was that possible? I mean.. Mary and Sue's bodies just vanished.. Maybe they were sent home. Maybe I could..  
  
I reached into my pouch and pulled out Mary's sword. The firelight from the torches flickered off it, causing the blade to look somehow.. Inviting.  
  
I traced a finger across the flat of the blade. It would be so easy.  
  
~Go home. It could be the only way.~  
  
With a snarl I threw the sword across the room and it fell to the floor with a clatter. "Go to Hell."  
  
I stood up and exited the room, feeling slightly better. 


	19. 15A Reality Bites

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Look! Another update! *giggles insanely* I'm not sure where I'm going with this now. Well, I kind of know. But I'm going with whatever hits me as I write. Hopefully it won't suck too much. ^_^ Just uh.. Fair warning. I've been listening to Disney songs while writing this. So.. Fear me. *skips away singing Part of Your World*  
  
Promoting the LJs, as always:  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/  
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.  
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold  
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc. (Possible, meaning I probably won't use it. lol)   
Anyway, just read the user info in the link above if you're curious for more.  
  
Time for the acknowledgements!  
  
Starbrat: The voices are fun. They say many things and tell me what to-- oh wait. You meant the story. *paranoid look* Uh.. Nm. *flees*  
  
Spaztic Lapdancing Pinata: Hi! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope you continue to do so. But.. Exactly how does one become the only Pinata of ME?  
  
Chicorytee: Everyone needed a bath.. Lol. Running for 3 days? *dies* It's wrong I tell you! Where's a jeep when they need one? Lol..  
  
Opaque: Feeling.. Uh.. Yeah. Let's not get into THAT. *smiles* Talking to characters is not a bad thing. I mean, I do it all the time. How else do you find out what they want? *Ignores her brainchild Alli, who is screaming about lack of usage and wants attention* I'm not insane either. Today anyway.  
  
Pellagolloien: Well ;p. We haven't had too many updates in the LJ yet, but mostly because I'm trying to keep it relaxed, so no one feels pressure to post. Well.. Except those times I'm talking to everyone and saying "POST DAMN YOU!!" only in a nicer way. Lol. *smiles innocently at her fellow posters and gives them cookies* If you have any questions, just email me. I'll be happy to answer whatever I can. And I can't answer that last question here. You have to read to find out! ;p~  
  
UberBrain: EE!! *Uber huggage for Aims* Thank yous! Although as I keep saying, I'm NOT the best. And if I am, then I got a better deal then I thought on Ebay! ;p  
  
Psycho Goddess: Rofl. I practically swooned in a store looking at a magazine with the cast in it.. And my mom saw me. She just gave me this 'look'. The kind where you know your mom thinks you're completely insane. Trying to explain WHY you're drooling doesn't seem to help either..  
  
Taraeldaiel: Legomance? I still don't know.. But I can explain why he's the one noticing. Aragorn is busy in his ever growing leader roll and Gimli is trapped in the comedy relief loop of the movie.  
  
Uber Shinigamiess: *UBER HUGS SUG!!!* You know if you want in, you're in. ;p It's a SUG thing. You're always in by default. Even when you aren't informed.. *coughs and smiles innocently as she rolls up the plans for world domination* So, if you aren't to busy obsessing over Gravitation, are you free June 15th, 2006? *cackles insanely like Ayeka*  
  
NotAsSharpAsAMarble: So.. You love it? But do you like it? ;p I'm glad reading the fic made your day! It always makes me glad to know someone besides me is enjoying it. ^_^  
  
Winterfox: Canon always breaks up in a MS fic… oh hell, Cannon always breaks up in MY fics. Roflmao.. It just depends on how much and how badly.. lol  
  
KoUsagi: Hee. I'm not fully sure what's going to happen yet myself. But hopefully it'll turn out as a good read at least! Lol I'll keep bringing it.. As long as I have my sugar. *nibbles on a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup*  
  
BookCrazy77: I'm glad you think so, and thank you!  
  
Kayli: Sarcastic commentaries are the only way poor Lacey can keep herself sane. To remove that would be like.. Removing peanut butter from a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! Just.. WRONG. The voice is a big meanie. I based it on people I hold grudges with. Rofl.. You can probably see why I hold the grudges.. Hee..  
  
More thank yous and uber hugs to you all! I hope you had a great holiday!! I hope you keep reading and enjoying the fic. And please.. If you wish to groan at this chapter for some reason.. It's all the meds and sugar's fault. Yup. And the orange juice. I'm starting to think it's replaced my blood.. The first human heart pumping orange juice instead of blood.. *giggles* I'm such a geek.. lol  
  
------   
  
Chapter 15A - Reality Bites  
  
  
  
"This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent, for he is driven mad by the fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from the women and children. You must fight."  
  
I stopped in the doorway. They were discussing the joys of Wildmen and what a peachy couple the Duo of S were. I suppressed a snicker as I had a mental visual of Sauron and Saruman dressed as the Ambiguously Gay Duo.  
  
Entering the room as quietly as I was able, I sat down at the edge of a bench and listened.  
  
"You have 2000 good men riding north as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king." Aragorn said.  
  
Theoden looked tired, drained. Well guess what? He wasn't the only one. "They will be 300 leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us. I know what is that you want of me. But I would not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war."  
  
Aragorn tried to reason with the King. "Open war is upon you, whether would risk it or not."  
  
"When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan." Theoden said with a steely gaze.  
  
Gimli let out a satisfied belch and even I winced at that. Ugh. Movie continuity.  
  
"Then what is the king's decision?" Gandalf asked.  
  
With a shake of my head I stood back up and left in disgust as Theoden announced the evacuation of the city.  
  
"Moron." I muttered as I stalked down the stone halls.  
  
"I take it you do not agree with his majesty?"  
  
I shrugged as Legolas joined me. "That's stating the obvious."  
  
The elf shot me a curious look. "Why?"  
  
"It's like being backed into a corner." I sighed. "I mean come on. When Saruman's forces attack, and there is no if there, don't even delude yourself like everyone else no doubt is, it'll be a massacre. There won't be anywhere to go. It'll be wham." I clapped my hands together. "That's it. Game over. People are going to die and it'll be a slaughter."  
  
"Either you do not hold much faith in your own kind, or else you know something you are not telling." His blue eyes were narrowed.  
  
"What I know and don't know doesn't matter." I said and shrugged. I narrowed my own eyes right back at him. "Why are you talking to me?"  
  
He looked slightly amused by my question. "Do I not have the right to talk to whom I please?"  
  
"When it comes to me? No. There are no rights, just wrongs."  
  
"Why do say that?"  
  
"Because it's all wrong." I muttered. That was the understatement of the millennia. "I have another question.."  
  
Legolas smirked wryly. "Would this be about the company I keep again?"  
  
"Ha. No." Then I thought about it. "Well, maybe. Have I done anything funny?"  
  
"Funny?"  
  
"Odd. Strange."  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
I bit my lip, debating on whether to explain the time loops or not. I sighed. "It's nothing. Never mind."  
  
I began to walk away, but once again, his hand clamped on to my wrist. Why do elves have to be so damn quick? He forced me to look at him  
  
"No it is not." He said sternly. "Do not expect me not to question you when you ask about such odd matters."  
  
"It's my problem, not yours." I snapped as I tried to wrench my arm free. "Just forget it."  
  
"I will not. If you do not tell someone what has got a hold of you, then you will become a hindrance to us all."  
  
"I already am." I hissed. "You want to know my problem? Do you?" Not waiting for him to respond I broke free and let loose. "I'm trapped in a world that isn't mine, I got one girl killed, killed another trying to save the only friend I had here, only I royally fucked it up and he DIED. I'm watching and hearing about people dieing and suffering all around me in a place I DON'T belong, trying my damn hardest not to get involved with any of you so I don't fuck up your lives, and to top it all off I'm having god damn time loops where I'm suddenly finding myself in a room when I was just outside!"   
  
I let out a frustrated scream. "All I wanted to do was try and read a fucking book in peace and I'm pulled into hell!"  
  
Legolas grabbed me by the shoulders. His voice was low. "Calm yourself."  
  
"YOU calm down when you have my problems." I snapped. "And I thought hell was having to listen to my ex-boyfriend bitch and moan about how cursed he was." I let out a bitter laugh. "Oh how wrong I was."  
  
Legolas's eyes bore into mine. "Explain to me about these 'time loops'."  
  
I blinked and quickly looked down. Great. Now I've got him interested. Stupid stupid woman! "It happened the first time in Fangorn."  
  
He frowned as I explained what happened and about the other times. When I was done he looked contemplative. "During those moments you seemed fine to the rest of us.. Although.."  
  
"Although what?" I asked.  
  
He released me. "It is nothing."  
  
"Oh no you don't." I gave my best glare. "You do NOT get to pull that when it's about me."  
  
The elf relented. "You would seem rather.. Cheerful. More at ease."  
  
"HA!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm NEVER at ease. Here or home. I'm too paranoid for that." A chill swept over me and I shuddered. "Is that why you're talking to me? I mean, have I been talking to you?"  
  
He nodded. "You have engaged in many conversations with us all."  
  
"Damn damn damn!" I suddenly felt weak. I really was insane. My god. Multiple personality much? "What have I said?"  
  
"Do you truly wish to know?"  
  
I nodded. "Yes damn it!"  
  
"You have been coming on.. Rather strongly."  
  
"To who?" I braced myself for the answer I knew was coming.  
  
"Both Aragorn and myself."  
  
I let out a screech as a sudden realization dawned on me. "Oh you have to be kidding me!!!" I grabbed Legolas's arm. "Listen to me carefully. If I EVER act that way again, it's NOT me. Okay? Knock me out. Shoot me. Anything. Just.. get rid of me if I do it again."  
  
Legolas looked completely shocked by that. "You can not ask me to do that."  
  
I grabbed his cloak and pulled him closer. "Listen to me." I hissed. "I could screw up everything existence in this world. It takes all I have to hold back my wants and instincts as it is. When I'm having those time loops, I'm completely at mercy to something.. else. I could end up ruining more then Sauron ever could."  
  
"How do you expect to do that?"  
  
"I'm a Mary Sue." I said softly. "It's what we exist for. Chaos. Forced changes. To shape things in some other being's image." It amazed me at how easy it was to admit the following. "I'm not real here."  
  
He arched an eyebrow. "Strange. Your grip feels real enough." His eyes fell to my hands that were still clutching his clothes.  
  
Releasing him, I backed away. "Just.. trust me. Okay? I'm not real. Why do you think no one sees me unless it's convenient? Why Orcs completely ignore me. If I were real, I would have died in Moria." I started to laugh bitterly. "Maybe I'm not real in my world either. I'm probably a figment of someone's imagination. I might not exist anywhere. My life could be a total lie." That thought scared me and my eyes widened as I babbled on. "And when this story ends.. I won't exist anymore. Would I just go poof and tada, no more Lacey? Or would it be as if I never were around? Would anyone at home care? Would anyone at all? Maybe they don't exist either.. More lies. Illusions. What's real.. What's not.."  
  
"That is enough!" Legolas exclaimed, ending my growing hysteria. "You are driving yourself mad."  
  
"I was never too sane to begin with." I said quietly.  
  
Legolas sighed. Wow, someone besides me sighing? A miracle! "Listen to me carefully. You are QUITE real, no matter what you may think."  
  
"And how would you know?"  
  
"Just believe me when I tell you." Legolas said.  
  
"Is it an elf thing?"  
  
He mulled that over, trying to figure out my meaning. He nodded slowly. "You could say that."  
  
I threw my hands up in the air. "Fine. I'm real. Whoopee. Yay. Let's go celebrate by evacuating the place and hiding under tables in Helm's Deep."  
  
"You will trust me then?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Yeah yeah." I nodded. "I'll trust you. I'm adaptable. But if I snap and do something really stupid and don't remember it, I'm blaming you and feeding you to the nearest Uruk-Hai."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind." Legolas replied dryly.  
  
We walked in silence, and it wasn't until later that day that I noticed no voice had bothered me. 


	20. 16A Thinking Hurts

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
An update already? Whoa!! So soon? Yes! ^_^ *giggles* Anyway, notes!  
  
UberBrain: *cackles* Aims, I love you! Roflmao. *uber hugs!!* I read that comment and I choked on my juice! Lol Lord knows if I could I would do that.. *eyes glaze over* But it's not Lacey's style. Not while she's sober anyway.. *snicker* Besides.. Fanfiction.net took away the NC-17 fic.. *coughs and smiles innocently*  
  
;): Hee, thanks! I hope this is soon enough for you!  
  
BookCrazy77: I hope it would sound normal.. Well, normal as opposed to horrible..lol  
  
Spaztic Lapdancing Pinata: I'm glad you love and like it! But do you.. Uh.. I got nothing. Lol. ;p *random thought* What the Fellowship needed was a Winnebago and a camera crew. Road Rules: Middle Earth! *cackles*  
  
Starbrat: Read on and find out. ^_^  
  
Manx: Whoo! 10 points! *giggles* YAYNESS!!!  
  
Chicorytee: She thinks she knows.. But then she also thinks that Pixi Stixs are the food of the gods. She's wacky.  
  
Sara: If it sounds confusing, it was, in a way, meant to. It's the way Lacey talks at times. Kind of a rambly gotta repeat before understanding type of dialogue. Basically she meant that there is no doubt that Saruman will attack.  
  
The nameless one with no Name: Lol, if you really want to use the line, I suppose you can. I'm glad you found it funny!  
  
KoUsagi: Hey girl! Rofl, Sanity Challenged is the BEST way to be. ^_^ (As for The Elf and the Lacey Suvian, who knows..lol)  
  
Music: Thank you, and I'll sure try!   
  
That's all for today, so yup. Hehe. But anyway, I hope this goes okay. Uber hugs to you all and I hope you enjoy the update!  
  
Oh and for the bored.. Another cover for the fic lol  
http://www.marua.com/silence/scribbles/CoMScover.jpg  
  
------   
  
Chapter 16A - Thinking Hurts  
  
  
  
More walking! Yay. Well, no walking for me. I get to ride Maeglin. Ha ha. So I'm being selfish. The world can kiss my ass. I'm feeling the evil today.  
  
Okay, so I'm just going through highly extended sugar withdrawal. I miss my Pixi Stix..  
  
We'd been heading towards Helm's Deep for a couple of days. It was slow going as there were so many people. Bet they wish they had a plane. Or a bus. Maybe a subway.  
  
Little old me was avoiding all again. I was trailing a bit behind Aragorn, Gimli and Eowyn. So far everything was movie continuity once more. Which means I didn't hate Eowyn or want to kick her in the head.  
  
Not that I would. She could kick my ass easily and I'd like to avoid that.  
  
Thankfully Legolas was busy being super elf so it was even easier to avoid him.  
  
~You don't want to avoid him and you know it.~  
  
I rolled my eyes. I had gone the entire journey without the voice. I had a couple of loops though.. But they seemed to only last about fifteen minutes or so. Not too bad.  
  
What do you want now?  
  
~To talk some sense into you.~  
  
Oh will you just fuck off, Mary?  
  
~Don't you tell me to-- how do you know? I mean, you're insane.~  
  
Get off it already. Only you or Sue would try and throw yourself, or me in this case, at Legolas. Not even I would do that.   
  
The voice changed into Mary's tone with a snort. ~That's what you think. I've seen your mind.~  
  
Bite me.  
  
~You think I'm going to let you get off so easily? You got me KILLED! By MY elf!~  
  
Not yours. Never was. Get over yourself.  
  
~Screw you! I WILL have one of those men, even if I have to use you to do it!~  
  
Like hell you are!  
  
I remembered all my comic book reading days and tried out one of the X-Men's mind blocking tricks. Build a wall and shut it out or something.  
  
~You stupid little bitch! If you thi--~  
  
Mary's voice was abruptly cut off and I grinned. "Thank you Marvel."  
  
"What do you see?" Theoden voice called, interrupting my triumph.  
  
Uh oh.  
  
"Wargs! We are under attack!" Aragorn answered.   
  
"All riders to the head of the column!" Theoden cried out.  
  
The villagers began to panic as everyone started barking out orders. It was semi chaotic around me as I debated what to do.  
  
Do I stay or do I go?  
  
My answer was forced upon me when I saw a woman with her children trying to follow the others. Most were teenagers, but the smallest one, a boy, was lagging behind. With a grimace I rode over and plucked him off the ground and onto the horse with me.  
  
His eyes were wide as he stared at me. I tried to smile, but couldn't make it reach my own eyes. It seemed enough for him though and I ruffled his hair a bit. I could hear the woman telling me to take him ahead.. I debated on just giving her the horse.  
  
When I looked at her to offer, her eyes went hard and she gave me a harsh response to my unasked question.  
  
Suffice to say, I rode ahead with him. Don't argue with a mother with that look in her eyes. EVER. I know that rule oh so well.  
  
I talked to the boy as we rode, his name was Darcyn and he wanted to be like Eomer when he grew up.  
  
I had to bite back the urge to imply he wanted to be a testosterone filled blonde fuckwit.  
  
"Oh really." I said sweetly instead. "You want to ride like him?"  
  
Darcyn nodded his head eagerly. "And I want to fight like him. Orcs are afraid of him I bet."  
  
"Don't be too eager for a fight, kiddo." I gave a sad smile as I remembered how they had armed young boys not much older then him in the movie. "You need to enjoy being a kid first. Then worry about Orc smashing."  
  
I'm not sure how long I chatted with him or how long we rode, but eventually I heard it.  
  
"Helm's Deep! At last! There it is!"  
  
I breathed a welcome sigh of relief.  
  
----------   
  
Yes, Darcyn was reunited with his mother. I didn't keep him or anything odd like that. What do you take me for, some kind of freak? My name is Lacey, not Mary or Sue.  
  
So I wandered the halls of Helm's Deep to kill time. I had just turned a corner and found myself nearly running into Legolas all too soon it seemed.  
  
"Answer me this." He said, his voice steady and insistent "Does he live?"  
  
Aragorn. Of course. "I.. Can't.."  
  
He took a step forward and I took one back. "Tell me. You know."  
  
Okay, he was seriously wigging me out now. "I'm sorry.. But I can't tell you." I glanced around, wishing there were someone else nearby. Hell, I'd settle for Eomer or even Grima the Unbathed. Anyone just to keep Legolas from staring at me like that.  
  
Legolas looked as if he wanted to strangle me because I wouldn't share. "Why do you do that?"  
  
"Do what?" I slowly inched away.  
  
"You know of things to come and yet you stand there and do nothing." He accused. "Why?"  
  
"It's not my job." I said, not bothering to deny that I knew. "I can't ruin what's going to happen."  
  
"And yet.. You knew Boromir was to die and you did not warn him."  
  
"I thought.. I could save him on my own."  
  
"What makes that so different from now?"  
  
"Because I screwed up!" I exclaimed. "I'm not risking that again! Every time I try to do something I want or feel, something goes wrong." I waved my hand out in front of me in frustration. "Look at this place! Look at where we are! We're in a god damn mousetrap and if I so much as step wrong I could get everyone killed! THAT is why I don't do anything." I lowered my voice. "That's why I avoid all of you. Because I could get you all killed and I don't want that."  
  
"But what of the people that are hurt by you remaining silent?" Legolas asked me, his voice calmer then earlier. "What of them?"  
  
"Fate." I didn't believe myself anymore then he probably did. "It's fate. Things have to play out as they were meant to."  
  
"Do they now. If everything is all in the hands of fate, then why are you here?" Legolas walked by me. "Think about that as you stay in your personal exile."  
  
I turned to snap a retort at his retreating back, but nothing came to mind.  
  
I take that back. Something did.  
  
~See what you did? You pissed him off. Now how the hell am I supposed to--~  
  
I growled as I stormed off, ignoring Mary in my head.  
  
----------   
  
Well Aragorn came back of course. At least I didn't screw that up. So everyone started prepping for war. I was staring out a window of the keep in a secluded little room as I listened to the sounds of the few soldiers and refugees scrambling around.  
  
I know I had said earlier.. that I was going to hide if I made it this far. But now that I'm here.. I'm pulled in different directions.  
  
~Still avoiding? Go hide. You're useless here. Better yet, just off yourself already. You have my sword. You went back for it in Edoras. So do it and then we'll both be out of here.~  
  
I snarled at Mary and pulled her sword out of my bag. "You'd like that wouldn't you. Oh no, if I die, I bet you somehow stay. You'll just jump into some other poor girl or maybe reform. Fuck that shit." I stabbed the sword into the wall, driving it halfway into a crack. "The only thing I'm going to do with your sword is this."  
  
With it stuck into the wall, I tried to break it. Surprisingly.. It snapped without much difficulty.  
  
~No! You stupid.. Oh you are so going to pay. You hear me?~  
  
Her voice trailed off as the shards of the sword dissolved into nothingness and the hilt became a handful of dust that slipped through my fingers.  
  
"Shitty craftsmanship." I smiled in satisfaction. I amazed myself sometimes. I removed my bag of holding and reached inside it as I sat down at the small table. "Okay, I have Lembas in here.." I tried to think of anything else I kept. "My staff.. Damn it, don't have I have anything useful in here, like a rocket launcher?"  
  
My hand felt something solid in the bag. I frowned and grabbed the questionable object and pulled it out. I let out a groan as I laid it out on the table.  
  
"Oh this is just so Suvian." I snickered.   
  
I started to laugh. It could come in handy if I stayed to fight. If I were allowed to stay. Once I stepped out of this room, if a guard spotted me, I'd be ushered away to the caves.  
  
I walked away from the table and back to the window in thought. 


	21. 17A Damned If You Do

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Promoting the LJs, as always:  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/  
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.  
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold  
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc. (Possible, meaning I probably won't use it. lol)   
Anyway, just read the user info in the link above if you're curious for more.  
  
Okay, I'm loopy now. Listening to Debbie Gibson on my PC and my tv is playing Return of the Living Dead. Rofl. Feedback for the feedbackers.   
  
Mith-amrun: Actually the name came from one of those Elvish name generators.. A friend and I typed up stuff about a horse.. Lol and that's what came up. I'm not sure who Maeglin Yedi is. _ *clueless* As for more.. Here. See? Update. lol  
  
Starbrat: lol here. *gives a cookie and a bag of pixi stix* Your reward! lol  
  
Pellagolloien: Is this a soon enough update? Lol. *gives cookie an pixi stix too* Lacey? Noble? *falls over laughing, ignoring the death glare Lacey gives her*  
  
;): Well thanks! I'm not really, but I do enjoy trying to write. lol  
  
Spaztic lapdancing pinata: Rejoicing in the street? Rofl, I doubt that! The girl on the cover is DEFINITLY not me. It's Virginie Ledoyen. She was in the movie The Beach and I thought she 'fit' how I saw Lacey. (It was a toss up between her and some old photos of Asia Argento) Had to have another X-Men mention. Love them too much. lol  
  
Shadow975: You'll see what's in the bag..  
  
Utsukushii Sora: Hee.. UBER HUGS MY SUG WITH AS MANY IF NOT MORE NAMES THEN ME!!!!! Hee.. I'll do my best!! ^_^  
  
Chracea: Well thank you! I hope you'll enjoy it to the finish!  
  
Reyana Draconis: I'll do my best. Although.. It will be ending soon..lol  
  
Psycho Goddess: Roflmao. I've lucked on that. My mom just doesn't see the infatuation with Legolas or Aragorn.. Lol. Mm.. Pixi Stix the key to winning a war? How rockage would that be?? lol  
  
Winterfox: You'll see.. But sadly it's nothing that cool.. Lol  
  
KoUsagi: Oy, I'm so far behind in my mail lately. Lol Uber hugs girl!!! I swear TTT just fed the Legolas infatuation frenzy all over the world.. Not that I'm complaining. Any Orlando is good Orlando. Lol  
  
Manx: WHOO! MORE POINTS!! THANKEES! Flammable? *worries* Oh dear. I better move them before they light up.. *flees to put them in a safe place*  
  
That's it. There's only about 3, MAYBE 4 chapters left.. Because it does end with TTT. After that.. Maybe I'll work on the Boromir in Lacey's world fic depending on my mood. Thank you all once more for the feedback! Uber hugs! I love you all! Now on to the update!  
  
------   
  
Chapter 17A - Damned If You Do..  
  
  
  
I hadn't had any problems since breaking Mary's sword. I think that was how she was linked to me still. But with at gone, there was nothing of hers left. So.. Maybe I was in the clear. Right?  
  
I sat quietly, watching Aragorn put on the last of his armor. Me? I at least looked like a warrior. Staff in one hand and a Rohan sword at my hip.  
  
Which was a little bit heavy by the way.  
  
Yes I was staying to fight. Of course the only one who knew so far was Aragorn. He'd accepted it easily enough. I mean, they were letting children fight. Why not a willing adult with emotional issues?  
  
Maybe well enough wasn't right.. The conversation went something like this..  
  
*Insert the special effects for the flashback!*  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
I looked up from the weapons rack to see Aragorn standing in the doorway. I shrugged. "I'm getting a weapon."  
  
"You should be with the women in the caves." He said as he walked over. Aragorn took the sword I'd been holding and put it back. "You can not fight."  
  
"Skill wise?" I nodded in agreement. "True." I picked up another sword and he took it from me too. "But I have Uber Stealth Mode."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm invisible to them. So I can be like the ultimate backstabber." I beamed trying to show my genius, and he merely stared at me dubiously. "Besides, why should I hide? It won't do any good. You've armed boys to fight when there are adults more then willing to pick up a sword instead. Half the mothers in that cave would rather die fighting then have their sons out there."  
  
"Do you think I do not know that?" Aragorn asked. "But Theoden is king. Not I."  
  
I shrugged as I handled another sword, which Aragorn once again took from me. I rolled my eyes at him. "Theoden is a fool in my opinion. But I'm not into the politics stuff. I mean a pissed off mother is like the ultimate weapon. Well, that and a woman with PMS.. But still.."  
  
"Why should you be allowed to fight when those who can are not?"  
  
"Because." I said as he took another sword from my hand. It was getting irritating. "Unlike some, like Eowyn as you no doubt thought of, I'm expendable. Should anything happen to Theoden, Eowyn would be the one the people turned to. I don't know if she realizes that, but it's the facts. But me? Hello? The only people that know me are you three and you're going to fight."  
  
I shook my head. "Besides, I can't stand by and do nothing. I mean, I CAN, but.." a frown crossed my face. "I was heading for the caves.. Then I saw all those boys half my age armed. That's not right." I stared up at him, his face unreadable. "Kids don't need to be fighting to their deaths. And that's exactly what they're doing. Most of them won't make it through the night.. I don't want to.. No, I CAN'T, just let that happen while I hide in a stupid cavern with the mothers who are wishing they were out here instead and the siblings crying in fear for everyone."   
  
Aragorn was quiet for a moment, then held out a sword he had picked up. "This will be easier for you to wield." I took it from him in surprise. "I suggest you find some armor."  
  
"No problem." I smiled at him and he nodded and walked away.  
  
*Ending Flashback Effects Please! I need a bigger budget..*  
  
I looked up as Legolas suddenly appeared behind Aragorn. Damn it, I want to be able to do that.  
  
He handed Aragorn his sword. "We have trusted you this far and you have not led us astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair."  
  
"Ú-moe edhored, Legolas." Aragorn said. They both smiled and clapped one another on the shoulders.   
  
Note to self: learn Elvish should I get home. And if I don't.. learn it anyway.  
  
We turned our gazes toward Gimli who was struggling with his chain mail. "If we had time, I'd get this adjusted." He dropped the bundle and the chain mail landed with its length right to the floor. "It's a little tight across the chest."   
  
I giggled at the sight, and that was when they all noticed me.  
  
"Is that.. Dragon scales?" Gimli gasped as he stared at my armor.  
  
I shrugged. "Think so."   
  
I had found a bodysuit type of armor from my bag of holding earlier.  
  
Oh, not just any armor.. No, no, that wouldn't do for a Mary Sue, even a non-perfect one like me apparently. It looked to be made of.. Dragon scales. The leggings were comfortable enough, and the top was actually sleeveless. It did come with a pair of matching elbow length gloves, which looked uber cool. It was all light as a feather too. Oh yeah, definitely Suvian wear. To top it off, and this is how I knew it was mine, it was such a dark purple.. that it was almost black. My color. Of course.  
  
I had to admit.. I liked the armor actually. It fit perfectly. Maneuverable, light, and it was actually comfortable. I actually had a GOOD Mary Sue trait! I had put my purple cloak on over it, as it matched much better then the Elvish one. Besides, I didn't want that lovely thing to get covered in blood.  
  
"Where did you get that?" Legolas asked.  
  
"It's a Suvian thing. Don't ask." I couldn't really explain if I wanted to.  
  
We were interrupted by the sound of a horn. Hey, it was a few moments late! I'm so telling Peter Jackson.  
  
Legolas looked up. "That is no orc horn."  
  
We headed for the battlements and I didn't bother hiding my satisfaction that it was still movie canon.   
  
The Elves had arrived.  
  
The lead elf, the same from Lothlorien, was talking to Theoden as we came down the steps. "I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between elves and men. Long ago we fought and died together." He spotted Aragorn and Legolas and smiled. "We come to honor that allegiance."  
  
Aragorn bowed. "Mae govannen, Haldir." Then he grabbed the elf in a sudden hug that seemed to surprise him.  
  
I snickered as I thought of how all the slash fic writers would have a field day if they saw this in person.  
  
----------   
  
The defenders of Helm's Deep looked out into the darkness, lit by the thousands of torches carried by the ever advancing Uruk-Hai army. I stood next to Gimli and on the other side of him was Legolas. I was a Pandora's Box of emotions.  
  
I wanted to burst out laughing because poor Gimli couldn't see over the wall.. I wanted to run away screaming as the Uruk-Hai got closer. I was terrified. I admit it. I could die. Seriously die. This wasn't a skirmish. This was a war.  
  
And I had volunteered and thrown myself in the middle of it.  
  
Doubts flew around my head. What if I was visible to them? What if I get someone killed because they feel the need to try and help me? What if I end up falling off the wall and plunge to my death? What if I have a time loop?  
  
What if Mary comes back?  
  
Gimli's grumbling broke my train of though. "You could have picked a better spot."  
  
Legolas smirked as Aragorn approached us.  
  
"Well lad, whatever luck you've live by, let's hope it lasts the night." Gimli said to the ranger.  
  
I silently hoped for that too. Thunder crashed, echoing everywhere, causing me to wince. God I hated thunderstorms. The flashes of lighting revealed even more of Saruman's homemade mutant smurfs, causing me to bite my lip in anticipation.  
  
"Your friends are with you, Aragorn." Legolas said.  
  
"Let's hope they last the night." Gimli added.  
  
"I'd rather hope for a tank." I muttered. "Or a Gundam. Wing Zero anyone?"  
  
The rain began to fall as I let myself think about everything I'd ever done in my life, and I wondered.. Was any of it real?  
  
Did it matter? Did I matter?  
  
It was confusing suffice to say. I really shouldn't dwell like that when I was probably about to die, but I suppose it was my version of my life flashing before my eyes. I was never a conventional type.  
  
Aragorn's voice rose above my thoughts, "Dail ú-chyn ú-danno i failad a thi! An úben tannatha le failad!"  
  
"Show them no mercy. For you shall receive none." I murmured. I caught Legolas's curious look and I shrugged in response. I remembered the quote from the movie.  
  
Gimli started jumping and strained to see what was happening. "What's happening out there?"  
  
"Shall I describe it to you?" Legolas grinned at Gimli. "Or would you like me to find you a box?"  
  
I giggled and Gimli chuckled good naturedly.  
  
The Uruk-Hai battle cries pierced the through the darkness, causing me to shiver. This was going to be a bloodbath and I had a front row seat.  
  
Refund please?  
  
An arrow shot out, striking an Uruk-Hai in the neck.  
  
"Dartho!" Aragorn cried out.  
  
The roaring and thumping stopped. The Uruk-Hai that was hit slumped to the ground, causing the others to roar in anger.  
  
I really wanted my refund now.  
  
The Uruk-Hai leader thrust his weapon in the air, summoning the army to charge.  
  
Faster then I could keep track, orders were shouted, arrows began flying and the battle had begun.  
  
I would have whispered a prayer if I were religious.. Instead I pulled my sword out of it's sheath and braced myself for the oncoming hell. 


	22. 18A A World Of Madness

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Promoting the LJs, as always:  
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/  
My friends and I have also created a small RPG/Round Robin Community spun off Confessions here.  
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thornhold  
It's based upon the events on a possible ending to this arc.   
Anyway, just read the user info in the link above if you're curious for more.  
  
Acknowledgements! =^_^=  
  
Mith-amrun: Lol, that wouldn't surprise me one bit.. Rofl.. Especially at how randomly long/short I make my chapters.. lol  
  
Uber Shinigami: ^_^ *great big Uber Hugs for my SUG!* *wamps too* Pacifism, Relena style? GAH!! NOOO!!! *Lacey whips out an Uzi and aims it at Relena* Don't be tampering with Middle Earth. That's MY job here.  
  
Weirdbard: *Uber hugs bro!!* Thank yous!! *gives Cookie of DOOM*  
  
Pellagolloien: It wasn't quite as humorous, because the situation is rather lacking for it. ^_^ More humor, I hope, in chapter 19..  
  
Dru of the Nightrunners: ^_^ I hope you enjoy the rest of it!  
  
Starbrat: *merely cackles insanely as she gets more Cookies of DOOM* Want?  
  
Lime Green Lion: Will she live? Am I so evil to kill her off? Probably.. Lol, but moving on, not too much left to go sadly.. But I'm glad you love it!!  
  
BookCrazy77: I had to mention the slash writers.. It's a must. I'm not one/nor do I read, but even I thought of it when I saw the hug.. Lol  
  
WilWheatongirl87: Thank you! I'll do my best!  
  
Spaztic Lapdancing Pinata: Lol! Did they win in the dream? And Virginie owns. Some of the pics I've seen look as bitchy as Lacey tends to be.. lol Random: I had a dream about being in Helm's Deep with a Pokeball that contained the Vorpal Bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It really liked eating the Uruk-Hai and kept sitting on my shoulder like Pikachu. Lol  
  
Manx: WOO!! MORE POINTS!! *cheers* And Pixi Stix are like the little straws filled with nothing but flavored sugar type stuffage. Makes very well with the hyper insanity! ^_^  
  
Dying Moonlight: Thank you! Read on..  
  
KoUsagi: Evas would be suuuch overkill. Damn! I shoulda thought of that. Lol. And I could just see Tuxedo Mask hopping around throwing roses at the Uruk-Hai. *giggles* Uber hugs!  
  
Yumeko: Thanks! I'm glad, and I hope you enjoy the rest of it too!  
  
That's it for now, and sadly, possibly only 2 more chapters after this. Although there MIGHT be a couple of alternate endings, depending on how they flow when I write them.  
  
Uber hugs everyone and thank you sooo much for the feedback! *gives everyone Cookies of DOOM*  
  
------   
  
Chapter 18A - A World of Madness  
  
  
  
"Legolas, two already!"  
  
"I'm on seventeen!"  
  
I let out a groan as I pulled my sword out of another Uruk-Hai's chest. So far I was only on seven. Not bad for someone who'd never had training. Of course the fact that they all hustled right by me was a big help.  
  
My ego would be bruised if the 'inviso thing' wasn't keeping me alive.  
  
Another Uruk-Hai ran past me and I swung my sword, taking a nice slice into his leg. He let out a roar but continued to ignore me, allowing me to finish him off with a stab and a shove over the wall's edge.  
  
I stuck my tongue out as he plummeted to the ground. "Nyah!!"  
  
The rain continued to poor and the loose tendrils of hair that had fallen from my bun were plastered around my face, annoying the hell out of me. I pushed back a lock and let out a curse as someone shoved me towards the wall's edge.  
  
Growling, I spun around to see another Uruk-Hai heading for a Rohan soldier. I knelt down and kicked his legs out from under him. He toppled over with a grunt and the soldier dispatched him quickly before moving on.  
  
I stood up in time for the scene I dreaded.  
  
"Dago han! Dago han, Legolas!" Aragorn yelled. "Dago han! Dago han!"  
  
Legolas fired at the torch carrying Uruk-Hai, but even hit, it kept going. I stepped backwards involuntary and realized I was definitely not in a safe place.  
  
Someone cried out, "Run!" and I had already started moving before I'd realized it had been me who'd done so.  
  
I forced myself to stop and I grabbed the closest warrior and shoved him out of the way just as the explosion rocked the very wall I had just been standing on.  
  
I didn't even get a chance to scream as I felt myself tumble onto the stone pavement of the wall from the force of the explosion. My chest ached from where I'd landed and I let out a gasping breath.  
  
A huge stone slab the size of a German Shepard fell to the stone just inches from my skull. My eyes went wide as I'd narrowly escaped getting my head crushed. Scrambling to my knees I scanned franticly for my sword. Not seeing it, I grabbed the nearest one, an Elvish blade, no doubt belonging to one of the fallen.  
  
An Uruk-Hai chose that moment to run past me, and I rose swinging. He snarled at me as the blade slid into his stomach. With a snarl of my own, I pulled the sword out and let him fall.  
  
I took a deep breath and tried to grab my bearings and find out where I was, and where the others were. The stench of all the blood, sweat, mud, and bodies nearly overwhelmed me and my body threatened to take a violent reaction to it all. I barely managed to hold myself together as I caught sight of Legolas just as he pulled off his shield surfing.  
  
I cracked a smile at that, even among all the carnage that surrounded me. With a shake of my head, I started hacking at more Uruk-Hai as I moved.  
  
Even a little bit was better then nothing.  
  
All sense of time flew out of my head and I wasn't even sure if I was soaked because of the rain or all the blood that was spilled everywhere.  
  
Aragorn's voice carried over to where I was. "Am Marad! Am Marad! Haldir, am Marad!"  
  
Oh. Time to fall back. Great. I'm god knows where and we have to fall back. Why does that not surprise me?  
  
I heard the standard Uruk-Hai growls and I found myself staring at the back of yet another one.  
  
I didn't have enough room to actually swing, I was too close, so instead I shoved him with everything I had. He stumbled away and found his head detached by an expert swing of an elf.  
  
My eyes found themselves locked on Haldir. Or rather behind him. I knew my eyes had gone wide, as an Uruk-Hai was about to take him from behind.  
  
Haldir must have noticed my look, because he ducked and rolled out of the way. The Uruk-Hai roared in frustration and I drove my sword into his stomach as he ran forward.  
  
His body was heavy as it put it's weight on to me, but I drove the sword upwards even further, causing him to gag. He stared down at me and his final growl sounded more like a gurgle as his blood bubbled out of his mouth.  
  
Black blood spilled onto my hands even as I shoved the body off my sword.  
  
A hand grabbed my arm and I shrieked. My sword rose but my wrist was caught by Haldir.  
  
"We must fall back." He said, his Elvish accent making the order sound more important.  
  
Lucky elves make everything sound better.  
  
I let out another shriek instead of moving though. This time it was one out of pain and surprise.  
  
Haldir pulled out the dagger that had somehow buried itself in my left shoulder, and I let out a moan as the blood poured down my armor.   
  
Blood.  
  
My blood.  
  
I was hurt.   
  
God knows how I made it to the gate where Theoden and Gamling were, I was in such shock. Haldir must have watched my ass real well. Either way we were both with the others.  
  
Both.  
  
Haldir was alive. I'd apparently saved his ass without even planning on it. Go figure. I shook my head with a sigh as I tried to bind my wound with a shredded part of my cloak. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do one handed? Let me tell you, it's a fucking bitch, but I got it done. Sloppily, but done. It was better then nothing.   
  
"Make way for the king!" Gamling shouted. "We can't hold much longer."  
  
"Hold them!" Theoden ordered.  
  
Aragorn chose that moment to join us. Running up he stabbed away at the Uruk-Hai through the broken gate. "How long do you need?   
  
Gamling barked another order. "Brace the gate!"  
  
"As long as you can give me!" Theoden said.  
  
"Gimli!" Aragorn called. The two of them slipped to a side exit.  
  
I wanted to help, but one glare from Theoden as his eyes flew past me, told me to be a good girl and let the men handle things.   
  
If this were the real world, the world would be fucked. Thankfully this was Middle Earth. Miracles can happen.  
  
Instead, I tightened my makeshift bandage on my wound. So I guess I didn't get to be invincible now. They key question was why. Then it hit me.  
  
Because I saved Haldir.  
  
I had interfered. Changed movie canon.  
  
I wasn't just a Convenient Plot Device/Mary Sue. I was now.. Linked to the world in a way. Because I tampered with the fates.  
  
Is this what would happen if I'd saved Boromir?  
  
Of course I could be completely wrong, but hey, it was the best theory I had at the moment.  
  
Theoden pulled me from my thoughts. "Pull everybody back! Pull them back!"  
  
Gamling echoed his king. "Pull back! Pull back!"  
  
Before I knew it, I was ushered into the keep along with everyone else.. who had survived anyway..  
  
-------   
  
The sounds of Saruman's army filled everyone's ears as they overran the Hornburg. The lot of us were trapped in the hall of the keep.  
  
Myself, I kept to the shadows and avoided eye contact with everyone.  
  
Theoden looked defeated. "The fortress is taken. It is over."  
  
Aragorn carried a table with Legolas to shore up the door of the hall. "You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it! They still defend it! They have died defending it! Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves?" Theoden remained silent, and Aragorn tried to reason with him. "Is there no other way?"  
  
Gamling spoke up. "There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far. The Uruk-Hai are too many."  
  
"Send word for the women and children to make for the mountain pass. And barricade the entrance." Aragorn ordered.  
  
"So much death." Theoden said, his voice soft. "What can men do against such reckless hate?"  
  
"They can fight." I mumbled. I winced at another shooting pain in my shoulder. I was ready to snap at Theoden myself, but I held my tongue. God knows it took all my will power to do so. He was annoying me with his giving up spiel.  
  
"Ride out with me." Aragorn said. "Ride out and meet them."  
  
Theoden's eyes lit up slightly. "For death and glory."  
  
"For Rohan. For your people."  
  
"The sun is rising." Gimli announced.  
  
Aragorn looked up at a window to see the faint light streaming through.  
  
"Yes. Yes!" Theoden cried. "The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep one last time!"  
  
---------   
  
I found myself joining Gimli to the Horn of Helm Hammerhand. I wouldn't be much use fighting or riding, and Aragorn had even said so as he sent me with the dwarf. I waited on the steps as Gimli took in a breathe and began to blow the horn.  
  
My gaze fell onto the battlefield as Theoden and the others rode out of the keep. I allowed myself to watch.. And I caught Aragorn looking to the east.  
  
The smirk on my lips was filled with glee as I watched Gandalf appear with Mr. Testosterone and his merry men.  
  
Gimli caught me wincing and finally noticed my injury. "Stay here, lass."  
  
I arched an eyebrow but he gave me one of those looks that I've learned in my life to obey. Almost as bad as a mom look, but not quite.  
  
Still, I sighed and sat down on the steps as he went down them.  
  
I allowed myself the pleasure of closing my eyes, knowing full well that the battle would be won and everything would be fine.  
  
For now. 


	23. 19A The Aftermath

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
Here we go.. The final comments to my feed backers. More notes following the feedback section. Lol  
  
BookCrazy77: I felt sooo bad too. I saw it and I was like. "WTF?? NO!! I hate you Peter Jackson!" *spots Aragorn & Legolas* "I love you Peter Jackson!" I'm such a fangirl whore.. Lol  
  
Spaztic Lapdancing Pinata: Gah, I hope your migraine is long gone now. *Uber hugs and her brother's stash of meds.. Looks around her paranoia in full effect in case some one is watching as she chews the bubblegum* Feel better, kay? Else I'll be forced to send Sue.  
  
Opaque: Warrior Queen? Lol, more like Joxer.. *gasps at the Haldir comment* Haldir blasphemer! How dar-- *glances at another window open to MESPT* Oh wait. You have a valid point. Carry on. ^_~  
  
Pellagolloien: *sobs* I have noticed the Arwen thing.. DAMN IT! I wanted her there. I ADORE Arwen. *whimpers* Mean old PJ for taking out the footage..  
  
Karate Elf: Gah! I'm soo glad you don't hate it!! I've been afraid of people hating this so much I almost didn't write it, but then the stupid plot bunnies wouldn't leave alone.. And they got out the chainsaws.. And that was soo not pretty.. What was I talking about again? Ah.. Um,… oh yes. *Uber hugs for not hating!* lol As for an actual Legolas romance, god help my fangirl instincts, I think what I ended up doing isn't horrible. (That's not saying I did or didn't.. lol)   
  
Leisha: I had to save Haldir. *sobs* It was wrong to have him die!! Sadly.. No ROTK.. More on that after the feedback..  
  
Winterfox: ^_^ Thank you! *Ayeka -like cackles*  
  
Manx: *sobs* I can't.. accept the bonus twenty!! I'm sorry! *offers Cookies of DOOM in apology as she flees in tears*   
  
Dusty Fedora: Thank yooooou! *Uber hugs and a dozen boxes of Cookies of DOOM for Da Man!* That is all. ^_^  
  
Lime Green Lion: Haldir shouldn't even have been there.. *glowers at Peter Jackson before trying to bribe him to aid her elfnapping plot*  
  
Melandune: ^_^ Here's the update.. Hehe.  
  
KoUsagi: Hee.. I had let Lacey have at least one 'heroic' bit.. Even if it was completely on accident… mm..Sk8er Boi Legolas.. *eyes glaze over*  
  
Cynda-chan: Boromir/Lacey forever? Lol! Still debating on continuing with that storyline.. *glances at some Boromir pics she has stashed* Damn.. Those bangs ARE nice.. I always did get annoyed at how people think he's all grr evil. He soo wasn't. He was like the poster boy for devotion of his home. Stupid Ring corrupting poor Boromir..  
  
Talagand: Your welcome! I have a soft spot for Gimli, but damn, do I have trouble writing for him.. lol  
  
Starbrat: Ahh, cannon, movie or book, is still cannon for whatever reality it is.. And Cookies of DOOM are fun. Yumm.. *munches on one*  
  
Saturngold: Well I'm glad you think so! I'm not too sure if I deserve the reviews, but I admit I am glad to get them. Lol. As for continuing.. Ah.. Read the notes. Hehe.  
  
Frodo Girl: I'm glad and thank you!!!  
  
GreyLadyBast: A heartfelt good job is more then enough and gladly welcomed! ^_^  
  
Uber Brain: Roflmao, damn girl, is that ALL you think about? Don't answer that, because you know what I think.. So uh.. Yeah.. UBER HUGGAGE AIMS!! Hee.. Need to get that portal machine and cloning device working.. Or maybe Bardy and Xand's dimensional Pokeball thing.. "I choose you Legolas!" *snickers*  
  
Psycho Goddess: Her head was already messed up.. Lol  
  
Eve of Mirkwood: The best? Is there really a such thing as a best Mary Sue fic? (This coming from me, who writes them ALL the time.. lol)  
  
BabyDoll: Well I'm glad I was able to help out with the holidays in some way! And my talent is cheap. Ebay had a great sale.. Lol   
  
Holly: Hee, you don't suck, silly! *gives a Cookie of DOOM* ^_^ WHOO!! I GOT THE LONGEST REVIEW!! *gives more Cookies*  
  
Lomelinde: Lol, with Haldir, for me, it's either the hair, the attitude, or the armor. Mostly the attitude..lol  
  
OKAY!!! That hereby ends Sil's Feeding the Feedbackers for Confessions of a Mary Sue.  
  
ON TO THE NOTES!!!  
  
This here is the final chapter of the fic. You read right. The last. Kind of. There are 3 different endings as well, because I'm funny that way.  
  
Will I be going to RotK? Not anytime soon. As this was to be mostly based in Movieverse, I can't really do it without totally messing with my own head. (Trust me, I had a hell of a time with TTT before I saw the movie and found the transcripts) I do not have the skills to truly cause mayhem with the books.. At least, not at this time. Lol  
  
I think I've mentioned it before, but I do dabble a bit with a sequel to the Boromir arc on occasion. If anyone wants, I'll see about posting it here and finishing it.. (Mostly, I dabble with it just to cheer myself up.. lol)  
  
Don't know if you'll enjoy the alternate endings, but there will be a few notes after each, explaining what the hell I was thinking. Lol ^_^  
  
And last but not least, as I'm babble girl here, I want to say thank you all, reviewers, readers, my friends, and anyone else, for taking the time to actually read this. UBER HUGS & COOKIES OF DOOM TO YOU ALL!! Extra Cookies of DOOM and Uber Hugs to those who gave me feedback, fed the plot bunnies, or encouraged me.  
  
All of you totally rock, and I appreciate all of you for reading.  
  
Again, thank you all very much.  
  
~Silence, the Uber Goddess of Chaos, Sugar, Denial, Delusions, and Whatever Else She Feels Like~  
*Current Date for when the SUG (Sistah Uber Goddesses) World Domination Plot Commences: 06/06/06*  
  
  
------   
  
Chapter 19A - The Aftermath  
  
  
  
  
  
I wandered the grounds, littered in bodies, human, elven and Uruk-Hai.  
  
The survivors were milling about doing whatever it is they were told to do, as Theoden and Aragorn spoke with Gandalf and Eomer. Gimli seemed to be having a friendly bicker session with Haldir.  
  
With a yawn, I involuntary tried to stretch and yelped.  
  
Yes, I am THAT stupid. Just shut up. Let's see you deal with this entire situation.  
  
"You've found proof you aren't a figment of someone's imagination."  
  
I rolled my eyes at Legolas. "No, I just have proof that if I AM, that my creator is a mean little bastard."  
  
Legolas shook his head and took hold of my uninjured arm. "Come with me."  
  
"Why? Am I getting a shiny new convertible for my troubles?" I asked as I let him lead me to some fallen debris.  
  
He made me sit down on the broken wall and he shook his head. He handed me a small flask and made me take a drink. "You do realize that when you speak, most do not understand you." Legolas began unwrapping my shoulder, the cloth already soaked through.  
  
"Same as back home." I muttered and winced as he worked. I set the flask of whatever it was, down. "Um, why isn't someone else doing this? Like Aragorn or someone not named Legolas?"  
  
"Because Aragorn is busy and I doubt anyone else would want to listen to you."  
  
I let out another yelp. "Damn it, that hurt."  
  
Legolas ignored me. "Haldir said you saved his life."  
  
"I didn't plan on it."  
  
"But you did none the less." He pulled out a clean bandage. "This would not have happened if you--"  
  
"Excuse me?" I growled. "I believe you were the one bitching at me about how I did nothing."  
  
"I did not tell you to fight." Legolas shook his head. "You are more trouble then you're worth."  
  
"That's what my family always says." I tried a smile. "You burn down one wall of a kitchen and you never hear the end of it."  
  
He gave me the eyebrow and merely shook his head again. "You realize you have broken your own rule about interfering with 'fate'."  
  
"Yeah well, I never did keep any of the rules I've set in my life. Why should now be any different?" He finished wrapping the wound as best as I'd allow him and I brushed a fallen strand of hair from my eyes. "Besides, I do have a small form of a conscience. You won't see me singing songs about happy fluffy bunnies, but still.."  
  
"This will have to do for now." Legolas said and tightened the bandage. "I will make sure someone sees to it properly." His eyes gave me that no arguments look.  
  
Good lord, does EVERYONE have that look here? Christ, I'm seeing it more here then I do when I go home for Christmas!  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah. I'm sure you will." I waved him away. "You can go now. No need to play with Lacey anymore. Kay?"  
  
"And leave you to your own devices?" Legolas smirked. "If I do that, we may be revisited by your puppet master."  
  
It took me a minute to realize he was referring to my time loops and Mary. I stuck my tongue out at him. "Nyah. Ha. No more of that. I took care of it."  
  
"How did you manage that?"  
  
"A Suvian weapon without it's master is as weak as it's former owner's mind." Legolas didn't get it and I shrugged as best I could. "I broke Nerissa's sword which was causing it all."  
  
"I see." He looked slightly concerned. "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Peachy keen, oh swoon worthy one." I clamped my hand over my mouth and groaned.  
  
Legolas merely looked amused at my big mouth. "Perhaps you are still a touch addled."  
  
"A touch? Honey child, I've been in need of mental help for over twenty years. Believe me, addled is putting it nicely."  
  
"Honey child?"  
  
"Something my sister says. Just a thing. I say it to all my friends."  
  
"Oh really now." Legolas stared at me. "So you count me as one of them now?"  
  
"I count you as a potential stalker victim." I said with an innocent grin. I frowned. I was feeling pretty loopy. "You gave me some kind of painkiller type thing didn't you."  
  
"The effects will not last long." Legolas explained. "You'll be fine in a few minutes."  
  
"Until then, I get to ramble on like a babbling idiot." I muttered. "You are an evil evil elf."  
  
"Just a few moments ago you referred to me as 'swoon worthy'."  
  
"Well.. You.. You.. Oh shut up!" I snapped. "Jerk." Legolas chuckled, which made me glare at him. "Stop that!"  
  
He did.   
  
"What is a woman doing on the battlefield?"  
  
"Getting ready to jump you and smack you silly." I snapped at Eomer, who had wandered over here. "Shut up, Mr. Testosterone, before I do something impulsive and utterly stupid."  
  
"You mean you haven't already?" Eomer muttered.  
  
I stared at him, my eyes narrowed and he stared right back at me.  
  
I cracked a smile which took him by surprise. "You know you're almost as s-mmphh!!" I was forced silent as Legolas covered my mouth with his hand, much to my surprise.  
  
I glared at him and he merely shook his head, his blue eyes glinting with humor.  
  
He learned fast.  
  
Yeah he was definitely evil.  
  
Could I take him home?  
  
I relaxed and with a look of warning, the elf released me. I smiled deviously at Eomer. He shook his head with a snort and walked away.  
  
I burst into giggles. "That was fun. Can we do it again?"  
  
Legolas looked at me warily. "You are incorrigible."  
  
"I try." I glanced my newly bandaged shoulder. "Stiches?"  
  
"No. It was not as bad as it looked."  
  
I frowned. "Not bad? Uh, hello, the dagger was impaled in my shoulder."  
  
Legolas frowned. "Then you must have remarkable healing, as it was not that deep."  
  
"Must be another Suvian thing." I said. "Joy."  
  
Legolas sat down in front of me. "You keep referring to 'Suvian' as a negative. What is it?"  
  
"It's way too much for me to explain properly." I fidgeted. "Basically, it's a term referring to anything attached to a Mary Sue. A being, typically female, put somewhere where she doesn't belong to wreak havoc and/or to fulfill her creators' own personal wish or wishes."  
  
"That's what you are?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe. More then likely. That's what Amalthea and Nerissa were. Except they were REAL Mary Sues."  
  
"Real?" Legolas's interest was piqued.  
  
I nodded and removed my gloves, putting them back in my pouch. "They were perfect. They were beautiful, smart, could fight, had so much talent it was ridiculous, and they knew what to do with it all."  
  
"I take it you do not have those skills."  
  
"Duh." I rolled my eyes. "Do I look like some perfect princess?" I waved a hand over my bloodstained armor, my shredded cloak, and my sloppy hair. "They would still be perfect after a battle like this. The only talents I have are bitching and driving others insane."  
  
"I remember you telling quite a tale once before."  
  
"Well.. I write. Try to anyway." I murmured. "But I'm not a professional." I toyed with my gift from Galadriel. Oh I hadn't mentioned it for awhile, had I. Well to end the curiosity, it was a ring.  
  
A silver ring, that looked as if a small phoenix were coiled around the finger. It's eyes were two small rubies.  
  
Which were glowing softly as I stared at them.  
  
"Whoa."  
  
Legolas caught my shock and his eyes followed my own. He grabbed my hand and studied the ring. "It seems whatever magic this contains has been unleashed."  
  
I stared at him. "Unleashed? I didn't do anything! Fuck, I got this from Galadriel!"  
  
"What did she say to you when you received it?" His blue eyes were full of seriousness.  
  
I strained to remember. "Um.. I think it was, 'Hope comes in many forms. Remember to take it with you.' "  
  
"You have been hoping to go home, were you not?"  
  
I nodded. "That and.. Uh.. never mind."  
  
I received the arch in response. "It could be important."  
  
"Trust me. It's so not."  
  
It was a stare down after that.  
  
I wasn't budging. No sir. No way. Could you just see me saying, "Oh the other thing I was hoping for was for you to fall madly in love with me, like every other Mary Sue in existence, and we could live happily ever after wherever the fates took us."  
  
Not in this lifetime.  
  
Finally Legolas relented with a shake of that handsome head of his. "So be it. We will go with the assumption it has to do with your want to go home."  
  
"Yes, let's do that. Because the other thing? Not happening." Only in my dreams.  
  
"Then I believe the ring will send you home."  
  
"Really. And you know this how? Another elf thing?"  
  
He smirked. "Possibly."  
  
"So.. Home." I thought about that. "Home.  
  
I could be going home.  
  
And I realized I didn't really want to.  
  
I didn't want to leave. Even through my complaints, the battles, Middle Earth was so full of magic. Life.  
  
The real world paled in comparison.  
  
I closed my eyes and sighed. "How much does that suck. I get my ticket home and now I don't want to go."  
  
"Do you not have family there?" Legolas asked.  
  
"I do.. And great friends.. But.." I looked down. "It's like.. Everything happens around me, but never to me. This, as screwed up as it was, happened TO me. In a way, I can call it my own. Home, I go through the motions. Here.. As much as I seem to try to just do that, some people," I looked at him, making sure I was implying him, "don't let me as much as I could."  
  
"Middle Earth.. Is so beautiful, even with the bloodshed. There's magic. There's Light. There's hope." I sighed sadly. "My world.. Those things still exist I suppose, but it's not the same. There's so much negativity that weighs down the rest, it's hard to see it all."  
  
I twisted a frayed edge of my cloak around my finger. "I suppose, I do want to go home, but at the same time I don't. I'm afraid now. As much as I think I want to stay, I KNOW I won't survive any other battles. I'm no fighter and my invisibility thing is kaput."  
  
"That is simple enough. I'll aid you in your training." Legolas replied.  
  
I shook my head adamantly. "No way. I didn't allow Boromir to take time to help me, I'm not about to let you either." With a shrug, I stared past him. "I'll just go home. Safer for everyone that way. You know? Sure I'll need therapy for a good while, but no big. I've needed that anyway."  
  
The gift of the eyebrow was what I received to that. I giggled. My giggle fit was rudely interrupted by a flash of heat rushing through my body. With a gasp, my eyes went wide.  
  
"Okay, that wasn't fun." I mumbled.  
  
Legolas's face filled with concern. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I think the ring is doing more magic." I gave him a weak smile. I was feeling loopy again, so I decided to roll with it. What the hell? I was a goner from this world anyway, right? "You know, since I'll probably be leaving soon, and I know I won't be back, want to know a secret?"  
  
"A secret?" The elf asked. Ooh, he looked slightly curious. "Would this have anything to do with your other 'hope'?"  
  
"Nope." I grinned. "In my world, there are like a million girls, and guys for that matter, who would all KILL to be here right now."  
  
He with the eyebrow responded with a dry, "Oh really."  
  
I nodded sagely. "Mhm. Know why?"  
  
"No, but I sense you are going to tell me."  
  
I leaned forward, close to his right ear, and whispered, "They all want you and want to bite your elfy ears.." I grinned innocently as he leaned away from me in what looked to be a mix of shock and horror.  
  
"Please tell me that you're jesting."  
  
Another fit of giggling bubbled out of me, causing the elf to wait patiently until I calmed down. "Hee.. Sorry. It's just funny. Especially after seeing all the stories and pictures.."  
  
"Do tell me.." He began slowly. "Why it is you know so much."  
  
"Hmm. How to answer.." I mulled it over a second before deciding to go with the tried and true standard Mary Sue action. I leaned towards him again, my voice soft "Cause.. I'm one of them." I kissed him.  
  
Oh please. As if half of you wouldn't do that. I know several people who would have jumped him the first day. And the second, and the third, fourth.. You get the idea.  
  
Besides, I HAD to. It was strange really. I mean, my infatuation with this elf had someone turned into what I guess could be the fact I was in love with him. Or rather, what I knew of him so far. Sad. Pathetic. Completely delusional. But then again, since when has anything in my life been simple and sane?  
  
I let him go. Simple as that. I couldn't really describe the kiss. It was pretty one sided. He hadn't encouraged me, he hadn't denied me, but either way, I did what I felt I needed to do at that moment. That was what counted and we both knew it.  
  
If he'd encouraged me, I'd never leave. That caused me to laugh out loud.  
  
"Something amuses you." Legolas stated. His face was unreadable. I think I might have hurt his feelings somehow.  
  
I smiled. "Lots of things amuse me, but if you think your ego is somehow in question here, don't worry. Just a random thought of mine."  
  
We sat there for a few quiet moments, with me feeling awkward and Legolas no doubt letting me ease out of that mode.  
  
I was ready to apologize for my impulsiveness, even though I had the feeling it wasn't necessary, when another surge of heat hit me. Only this time it hurt like hell. I bit back the cry I wanted to let out and struggled to remain upright.  
  
Legolas grabbed me and I let myself collapse against him. "Do you want me to get Gandalf?"  
  
I shook my head. "No no." I let out a strangled breath. "I'll be fine. I won't.. be here.. But I'll be fine." He looked ready to ignore me and call for the wizard anyway, so I decided to distract him. "Hey, I need to tell you.. Thank you."  
  
"There is nothing to thank me for." His blue eyes were boring holes into me.  
  
"Yes there is. You were really nice to me for the most part, even when you didn't have to be. When I didn't want you to be. So.. Thanks." I smiled genuinely at him. "And another thing.. If another Mary Sue pops up? If she's like me.. Not perfect.. Be nice to her too. We're rare you know."  
  
"And if they are like Amalthea and Nerissa?"  
  
I grinned. "Run far far away. They might try to bite your elfy ears." I lifted my hand to stare at the brightly glowing eyes on the ring. "You know.. This is pretty cool, if not for the really annoying pain it's causing me. Wonder how much I'd get for it on E-Bay.."  
  
This time I let out a scream as the pain came flooding through me. My eyes closed tightly as I started to go numb.. 


	24. 20A Closure? We Don't Need No Stinking C...

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
  
Slightly different here. You'll see.  
  
  
------   
  
Chapter 20A - Closure? We Don't Need No Stinking Closure.  
  
  
  
  
I'm not sure why I did it, but I did.  
  
Perhaps it was because I allowed myself to not think clearly.  
  
Maybe I just wanted to stop the pain.  
  
When she screamed, I let instinct come over me and I wrenched the ring off her finger. She fainted from exhaustion shortly after.  
  
"It is still filled with power, Legolas."  
  
Gandalf handed the phoenix ring back to me. I nodded mutely as I slid it into a pocket. "I thought as much."  
  
"It will remain dormant until she puts it back on." He said, "And she will have to."  
  
"Do you know why she is here?" I asked him, changing the subject. He hadn't seen the fear on her face. I do not even think she realized how afraid she was.. Why would she be so afraid of returning home?  
  
Gandalf nodded as we walked to join Aragorn and Gimli. "I do not know all, but I know enough. She was to foil Amalthea and Nerissa's plans." The white wizard shook his head. "Though even I do not know what those were entirely. You would have to speak to Lady Galadriel for more."  
  
"Yes, she would know, wouldn't she."  
  
"Indeed. Something else is at work along the shadows of Middle Earth, beyond that of Sauron. But it has been deemed that Galadriel will hold it's secret until the proper time." Gandalf paused. "But do not speak of it to the others. I know it will not play a part in our present path."  
  
I nodded. "As you wish."  
  
"How's the girl?" Gimli asked gruffly. He looked oddly comfortable sitting on a slain Uruk-Hai corpse.  
  
"She will be fine soon enough." Gandalf said.  
  
"No doubt she'll be demanding to ride to Isengard with us." Aragorn said with a shake of his head. "She makes many demands."  
  
"Aye, but according to you, she makes a good argument." Gimli pointed out.  
  
"She just argues." I muttered. I received amused stares at my remark.  
  
---------   
  
I wasn't really asleep. Okay, for the first half hour I was, but not now. I'm too antsy.  
  
What the FUCK did he do that for?  
  
If I were all perky fun happy, I'd think it was a sign of standard Suvianness. You know, where the Sue wins the guy over.  
  
I knew better. I mean come on, this is my Suvian tale we're talking about, I seem to be lacking the real benefits here.  
  
Of course my paranoia on the other hand was having a field day. He wants me dead. That's gotta be it. Seriously. We all know I'm doomed now. M knowledge was pretty much shot to hell. With the exception of the loops from before, this is movie canon.  
  
We only got to The Two Towers back home.  
  
Yeah, hi, I'm Lacey and I'm royally fucked. Can you spell fucked? I knew you could.  
  
Unless this somehow goes into book canon, I had no clue what was going to happen.  
  
Oh hell, let's face it, I didn't know anyway! I only sifted through Return of the King a couple of times, and I was mostly bitching about how I hated Eowyn while doing it.  
  
I buried my face in my hands with a moan. "Oh just kill me now."  
  
"I would, if it served some other purpose besides putting myself at ease."  
  
I peeked out from between my fingers to see Eomer looming over me. "Feh. It's just you." I sat up and stretched. I realized there was no more pain in my shoulder. You think if I was really lucky, I'd have an adamantium skeleton too?  
  
Tall, blond, and growly glared at me. "You are a nuisance, do you realize that?"  
  
I yawned and let him glare at me before finally looking up at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me? I was thinking of more important things, like what that space between your ears is actually used for since you obviously lack a brain."  
  
Once more, Eomer glowered at me before leaving me alone.  
  
That was fun. He's so easy to goad, all that pent up aggression and anger from Saruman's puppet king with Theoden bit and all.  
  
I sighed and found myself staring at Legolas, who was talking to Aragorn and the others. This time my stay here was all his fault. No way I was letting him forget it.  
  
I had no idea what was really in store for me canon wise, but at least it'd be an odd ride. I'd get to be around my favorite elf a bit longer. Bonus!  
  
Not exactly an ending I'd like, but then again, who really needs closure?  
  
************   
  
Authors Notes Again:  
  
So what pray tell is this ending? No closure. No real Legolas/Lacey romance. Why? Because as much as I wanted to go that route with the ending, it was too.. Standard. Plus I think it'd seem a bit forced so soon. So instead, you get this. Lol. (Sorry Aims!! No boneing our favorite elfy! Here anyway.. Rofl)   
  
Plus, it's just in case I decide to work with it again, or even, not. But this bit IS continued in CoaMS: Thornhold. (The LJ Robin) It takes place a year after Aragorn is King, so RoTK will likely be implied.. lol  
http://www.livejournal.com/community/thornhold/  
http://www.marua.com/silence/thornhold/thrules.htm   
http://www.livejournal.com/community/the_abyss/  
  
It's all about how Sue's evil spirit surviving, taking the One Ring, offing Sauron with her even more supped up Suvian powers, and how the One Ring is connected to the Multiverse.  
Basically, Lacey and her little band of heroes are out to stop Sue from collecting each fandom's "Key" and controlling the multiverse. She plans on reshaping it in her own image, meaning Perfect. (Ego ego ego)  
  
It's a large based crossover, the only characters from CoaMS in it so far, are:  
Lacey: http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_lacey/  
Legolas: http://www.livejournal.com/users/elf_prince/  
Gimli: He's there, but not taken  
Sue: http://www.livejournal.com/users/perfect_evil/  
A take on a Ringwraith: http://www.livejournal.com/users/lord_hellion/  
  
Other characters in it so far are:  
  
Xander (BtVS) : http://www.livejournal.com/users/xander_harris/  
Originals:  
Natalia: http://www.livejournal.com/users/natalia_ailatan/  
KoUsagi: http://www.livejournal.com/users/kousa_chan/  
  
And yeah, if you have an LJ and want in on it, just follow the instructions in the user info of the community. If you just want to ask me questions about it, just email me via addee there too. Or join The Abyss:   
  
http://www.livejournal.com/community/the_abyss/  
  
It's our Out Of Character journal, so you can ask us questions, ask to join, go over plot ideas, etc.  
  
That's about it here, so.. Off I go! 


	25. 20C Could Be Worse

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
  
The results of too many Cookies of DOOM.  
  
  
------   
  
Chapter 20C - Could Be Worse  
  
  
  
"Hi!"  
  
I opened my eyes an found myself staring into a pair of green eyes, belonging to teenager with brown hair pulled into a ponytail. She was wearing an expensive looking silk blouse and black leather skirt.  
  
"Um.. Hi." I said. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
The girl grinned. "I'm Tiana Worthington. Welcome. There's some cookies on the table. Ignore the penguins."  
  
I frowned as she led me out of the doorway and into an expansive looking room. It was huge, even bigger then my parents' house. It was decorated in my own taste actually. A few dark walls with glowing stars on them, a fluffy dark purple carpet, and some various weapons decorating everything.  
  
There were arm chairs and couches of various styles scattered about, along with some arcade games, a flat screen tv the size of one of those THX Mega screen things, and shelves of dvds and video games.  
  
The room also seemed to be filled with people.. And penguins. And a few flying red creatures, which I could only assume to be drug induced side effects of some kind. Maybe I inadvertently had some weed from the shire..  
  
I turned to Tiana, only to see that she had dashed off to talk to some guy who looked a hell of a lot like Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" I asked.  
  
Another girl appeared in front of me, her hair a bright blue and bound in two pigtails. "Sup? I'm Allison Warren, Alli for short. You're new here aren't you."  
  
"New?"  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. See, you're in Sil's Amethyst Tower. One of living rooms to be exact."  
  
"Sil? Tower? What the fuck is going on?"  
  
Alli rolled her eyes, and as she was about to reply, a pretty redhead walked over to me. Dressed in a lab coat with a pencil above her ear, practically hidden among her short stylish locks, she started typing on a holo-computer like that of Washu from Tenchi Muyo. "Name?"  
  
I was so lost, but I sighed. "Lacey. That's all you get."  
  
She nodded as she typed. "Fair enough." A bunch of data appeared on the holoscreen. "Mhm. Okay. Gotcha." She stopped typing and the computer vanished. She stuck her hand out. "I'm Caitlyn Morgan, another original. You'll see a lot of us wandering around, along with the Male Harem."  
  
"Original?"  
  
Caitlyn glanced at Alli. "She doesn't know?"  
  
Alli shrugged. "I was going to tell her, but you interrupted me. Duh."  
  
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. "You, Lacey, are like Alli, Myself, my brother Alex, and Tiana. We were created by Silence."  
  
Created. I felt my breathe leave my body. My worst fear was realized.  
  
"I'm.. not real."  
  
I wanted to cry.  
  
"Oh god, no!" Alli shrieked. "You're real!" She grabbed my arm to bring me to reality. "See, Silence is a goddess of.. Um.. Well, no one really knows. Anyway, like most godly beings, she like, made creations, realities and stuff. Then she adds warped touches to them to you know, spice them up."  
  
"Then why am I here then and not.. 'home'?"  
  
Caitlyn smiled. "Because you impressed her. When that happens, she tends to deem the person as one of her favorites and they get perks."  
  
"Perks?"  
  
Alli nodded. "I'm her sidekick."  
  
"I'm her resident scientific genius." Cat grinned. "We tend to exist out of our own realities, with the abilities to go back when we want."  
  
"The best perk.." Alli's smile was evil, "Is the Harem. It's filled with guys from different realities, stories and fun stuff." She pointed to a man with golden skin in black robes sitting in an arm chair arguing with a good looking guy in a black X-Man uniform.  
  
My jaw dropped. "That's Raistlin. And Iceman!"  
  
Alli giggled. "Rocks. She plucks them from everywhere. Mind you, they're paid well. The only thing they really do is chill out, play bodyguards, are her personal army, along with a bunch of vampires, the undead penguins, and a few werewolves, do menial tasks like laundry, oh and they look pretty."  
  
"What about the red things?" I pointed to one in fishnet stockings, talking to a penguin with a placard in his 'hand'.  
  
"Those are Imps." Caitlyn said. "There are 666 of them. They belong to a demon with a soul, a fallen angel named Weirdbard, Sil's 'adopted' brother. They tend to hang out with the penguins since they share the same tastes in food."  
  
Both of them looked ill at that and I rolled my eyes. Imps and undead penguins. Must like flesh or something gross.  
  
"So I'm here to just do nothing?" I asked irritably. "Wonderful.."  
  
"Pretty much." Alli grinned. "Come on, I'll introduce you around and we can go track down Legolas."  
  
I did a double take. "Legolas?"  
  
She beamed at me. "Yeah, she has a Legolas in her harem too. Rockage no? Of course so does Alsie and Wills, but then again they also have Aragorn clones too.."  
  
I allowed myself to be dragged away by the poster girl for sugar as she babbled on about clones and how you never clone a clone..  
  
I wasn't home.  
  
I wasn't about to die apparently.  
  
I was surrounded by fictional characters, the majority male and most on my own swoon list.  
  
Could be worse.  
  
"Hey, do you have any pixi stix?" I asked.  
  
Alli grinned. "DUH! Sil is a sugar FREAK. Like me!"  
  
We breezed by a couple of Angels. One vamp, one mutant.  
  
I could get used to this place.  
  
**************   
  
OOH! Author notes!  
  
What was I thinking with this ending? It was to be a play on Lacey's fears of not being real, but with my trend of uber silliness. The references here are all to Weirdbard Academy/AIWL Robins I've done with my partners in crime most can be seen here:  
http://wbacademy.envy.nu/  
http://www.livejournal.com/community/aiwl_island/  
  
It's in a sad state of repair need age, need to update BADLY and fix the email links as they don't work now.. Lol.. But it's on my list of things to do. lol 


	26. 20D Finale

Disclaimer and notes in the Prologue.  
  
  
------   
  
Chapter 20D - Finale  
  
  
  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck tiredly as I exited the building.  
  
"You work tomorrow?" Rick, my coworker and one of my best friends, asked as he locked Pizza Hut's door.  
  
"Nope." I shook my head. "You?"  
  
Rick pocketed the keys. "Thankfully no. Going to spend the day watching Season 2 Buffy with Nic. What are you doing?"  
  
"Avoiding Eric and his need to drag me to every party he can find." I rolled my eyes.  
  
We started for the parking lot out back. "Well you have to give him credit, I mean, he's at least trying to cheer you up."  
  
"Who says I need cheering up?"  
  
Rick sighed, "Come on, Lacey, you know full well you've been odd the past few months. It's like one day you just decided to turn off the 'fun and insane' switch and revert to.. Well.." He waved a hand a me. "This."  
  
My hands fell to my hips. "Excuse me? Is that an insult?"  
  
"Of course not, It's just.. What happened? Nic says you don't say anything and James says the same thing. Everyone is worried about you."  
  
I debated on snapping at him, but instead I put on my soft but believable faux smile. "It's a phase. Single gal blues. You know? I'll get over it, just need to focus on something new."  
  
"New?" Rick shook his head. "Lacey, all you've done for the past three months is take a bunch of night classes."  
  
"Not night classes." I said defensively. "Okay, there are, but they're self defense. I mean, it doesn't hurt to take those. Keep in shape, learn martial arts, it's neat."  
  
"The fencing class?"  
  
"It's not just fencing." I muttered. "It teaches all sorts of sword play."  
  
"Uh huh. The Tolkien classes at school?"  
  
"Embracing my inner fangirl."  
  
We stared at each other before snickering.  
  
"That sounded.."  
  
".. More wrong then it was meant to." I finished.  
  
He shook his head. "Look, I'll drop it for now, but I'm warning you, Alsie and Nic are planning an intervention. Aims and Mav are even plotting to kidnap Orlando Bloom for it too."  
  
I grinned. "Nu-uh. Aims is planning to kidnap Orlando for herself and we all know it."  
  
"She's willing to share to snap you out of your funk." Rick laughed. "Do you need a ride home?"  
  
I pointed to my raggedy jeep in the lot. "Got it covered tonight. Picked my car up yesterday." I shoved him lightly. "Look, I'm fine. I will be fine. Tell everyone not to worry, okay? And tell Aims she better get pirate gear for Orlando before the intervention."  
  
Rick shook his head as he headed for his car, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.  
  
With a smile for a effect, I turned around to my own car with an inward sigh.  
  
Yeah. I'm fine.  
  
----------   
  
I threw myself onto my bed after I finished cleaning up. I'd been home for a couple months. Still had my ring.. It mocked me when I looked at it.  
  
God I was depressed.  
  
I admit it, it's my own fault, really. I could have just thrown myself into making myself happy, and in a way, I've tried. Taking all those classes may cause me to go broke and kill what little free time I have, but I do enjoy them.  
  
Problem is, I know I'm partly doing it.. Just in case.  
  
In case of what?  
  
A repeat Mary Sue event.  
  
Oh, I know it won't happen, but a part of me wishes it did.  
  
Another part hopes never to go through it again. Of course that part is usually hit over the head with a Buick and then locked in a trunk and buried fifty feet under the ground with a skyscraper built on top of it.  
  
Yeah, even my subconscious is violent. You should see what happens when I think about Legolas. It's definitely not pretty.  
  
None the less, I'm making myself miserable. But what no one realizes, is that I'm putting that to good use.  
  
With the very last of free time I have, I write. Or rather, been writing. Not just letting my story ideas float in my head, but putting them down, editing them, everything.  
  
I'm surprised I still sleep.  
  
I revised an old short story of mine.. Sent it to a local magazine. Start the rejection out small.  
  
Instead, I was surprised to get a bite. Nice. It's slow going, but it does give me a bit of hope.  
  
Everything made me realize, everyone has a story to live. A story to tell. Whether it's theirs or some one else's, it doesn't matter. You're a character in one massive story, and everyone's part matters, even the ones such as the nameless guy on the corner who sits on the bench and mutters in German.  
  
Life is a never ending story. Rotating characters yes, but it never ends. It's an infinite loop and the best thing to do about it is to play your part how you want to.  
  
Depresso girl I may be, but I'm still doing what I want.  
  
At least.. Until I get this ring to work again.  
  
I grinned at that silly thought.  
  
Tomorrow is another day. I may not have Middle Earth, an Elf, a King, or a Dwarf with me, but I had the best thing of all.  
  
Working plumbing.  
  
******************   
  
Ooh, more Author notes! Yup!  
  
This ending was to just give Lacey a touch of closure in a way, after being home. Her life hasn't changed dramatically, maybe her outlook has, slightly, and her drive, but her life is virtually the same as always, with just an added bonus of a pretty ring and story she can't share.  
  
In that end, as far I know, unless the plot bunnies deem otherwise, is the end of Lacey's story here. 


End file.
